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Original poster

Teenagers and NYE

209 replies

chatenoire · 13/12/2023 08:48

Some very good family friends have invited us to their NYE party. Obviously we'd love to go, but our 13yo DD has decided that she's not coming.

I can't force her so the only options are that she stays at home or we stay at home with her. Neither option sounds ideal, so I really don't know what to do.

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 13/12/2023 10:06

I wouldn't leave a 13 year old overnight, that info changes things. Can't you walk home if it's so near?

Original poster
chatenoire · 13/12/2023 10:09

FrenchandSaunders · 13/12/2023 10:06

I wouldn't leave a 13 year old overnight, that info changes things. Can't you walk home if it's so near?

Not really as we'd be with our 4yo, and that would be far from ideal

OP posts:
lemonyellows · 13/12/2023 10:13

I wouldn't have given her the option. She is only 13. She goes with the family.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

13 year olds
beautifullittletree · 13/12/2023 10:23

Oh you have another child as well?

How about 'thanks for offering but we will be spending it at home with the kids'?

It's just some friends. You could presumably see another time.

rookiemere · 13/12/2023 10:25

We had similar when DS was 13 or 14.

We went to the party but arranged a taxi to get us back at 11.30 so we saw the NY in with DS.

Original poster
chatenoire · 13/12/2023 11:40

Yes, I guess we could leave early and that would be the middle ground.

OP posts:
MaggieFS · 13/12/2023 12:08

Sorry, another daft a from the parent of non-teens, it what can't you force her? It's one night when all she wants to do is stay at home (which she presumably does all other nights) but you are willing to compromise a party WITH accommodation when you have a four year old? I'd give anything to have such an opportunity.

At that age, it wouldn't even have been a debate for me as a teen. If I was told to go, I'd have gone.

Incidentally, I am now getting adverts for "how to motivate an unmotivated teen" 😂

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 13/12/2023 12:11

Go and have a drink for a couple of hours then head home to see the NY in with her.

We always used to get together with friends with kids and take it in turns to host, solved this dilemma.

Original poster
chatenoire · 13/12/2023 13:17

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 13/12/2023 12:11

Go and have a drink for a couple of hours then head home to see the NY in with her.

We always used to get together with friends with kids and take it in turns to host, solved this dilemma.

We normally host, so she just shows up if and when she likes. She doesn't like our friends' DC, which is why I dont think she doesn't want to come with us

OP posts:
Cookie105 · 13/12/2023 21:32

Why don’t you just go for a few hours then see the new year in with your daughter?

Anetaaa · 13/12/2023 21:34

Agree if they don’t wanna go don’t make them

ColesCorner7814 · 13/12/2023 21:38

We left our DD13 (5 days from being 14) at home on NYE a few years ago but she was with DD16 and it was on the proviso that they would spend time together (watch a film, FaceTime friends etc). We went to a friend’s party in the village (which they normally go to but didn’t fancy it) and we were back by 2am. I would not have left her on her own.

KombuchaKalling · 13/12/2023 21:39

Hollyhead · 13/12/2023 09:28

You’re giving her too much leeway, especially as you’ve offered for her to take a friend. If you want to go she has to go with you, end of!

But then with my concessional hat on…Could one option be go to the party but not stay the whole night and be back about 10.30 to see the new year in with her.

I wouldn’t be giving her so much input either. Why does she get to decide what the whole family do?

thesixleggedpsychopathonthetrain · 13/12/2023 21:45

Tell her she's coming and buy her a new outfit.

Noseybookworm · 13/12/2023 21:46

I wouldn't leave a 13 year old alone overnight and I doubt any of her friend's parents would be happy for them to stay with her either with no adult in the house all night.

Nancydrawn · 13/12/2023 21:49

Not being pearl clutch-y, but how does your 13-year-old know she likes blue curaçao?

NoTouch · 13/12/2023 21:49

ShipSpace · 13/12/2023 09:13

Absolutely no way in the world would I leave a 13 year old to see the new year in alone just because the evening I would prefer to have as an adult is not suitable for her.

Your parenting years are not over yet, I’m afraid.

^ this, until she is old enough to be going out for NY herself. So you still have a few years yet!

Until then you have options

Bribe her to go
Go somewhere she wants to go too
Stay at home/have a party at home
She finds somewhere she is happy to spend NY

She is too young to have friends over unsupervised all night.

Scottsy200 · 13/12/2023 21:49

Just make sure the party t knows they would be home alone for a portion of the night and let them have a sleep over, they are 13 not babies I’m sure they would love it and you get to socialise too, if you are uncomfortable check in on them every hour

QueSyrahSyrah · 13/12/2023 22:00

No teenagers here either, yet, but slightly baffled by the thread as at 13 I'd have just been told where we were going and that would be that.

Doesn't sound fair that a young teen who just doesn't fancy it gets to dictate that the other 3 members of the family can't go.

zeibesaffron · 13/12/2023 22:07

Absolutely would never leave a 13yo overnight by themselves- I cannot believe you are even considering it! She either goes with you or you go for a couple of hours snd be back by 11/11.30.

GreenFields07 · 13/12/2023 22:09

Agree that at 13 I would've just been told im going to the party, end of. Cant understand the whole family being dictated where they can or cannot go by a 13yo. Its one night, take her switch, let her sit in the granny flat most of the night if she must. I wouldn't be leaving her home alone, but I wouldnt be missing a party that I wanted to go to either.

SquishyGloopyBum · 13/12/2023 22:15

She can chill in the granny flat. So what she prefers to be at home, it's tough luck.

Notalldogs23 · 13/12/2023 22:18

It does seem like she has a bit too much say seeing as it's a party for families, can you tell her that you're all going? And if she doesn't want to hang out at the party she can slip off to the granny flat.

If she refuses to go, and you don't want to force her, can either you or your husband go, with the other parent staying home with the kids?

Notalldogs23 · 13/12/2023 22:19

Or can you get someone to stay over with them?

DangerousAlchemy · 13/12/2023 22:21

This was us last year. Invited to a party 10 min walk away. DS is good friends with the family's son but our DD (18 then) doesn't like their kids & didn't want to go. We didn't go & stayed home & played board games/watched a film & had a lovely evening together just the 4 of us. Honestly the teenage years whizz by so I didn't really mind. I've no idea what we are doing this NYE - will see if our DC have any plans with friends I guess & play it by ear.