Knowing what you know now would you still have children / number of children you have?

[Boredatwork1234]

I’m going to start this as I love my two DC and I can’t imagine life without them. We are doing that typical should we go for a third etc but leaning more towards not using the phrase quality over quantity.

Speaking to a dad the other day, he said if he knew everything he knew now he wouldn’t have had a third he would have stuck at 2.

But flip side I know a dad with 1 child and he said he would have starting having children earlier (late 20s) as they waited till late 30s and would have liked 2 children.

We can’t change the past but just wondering what would you do now with todays knowledge? Would you change anything? What would you say to your younger self?

I think post 14 it’s even better. We have so much fun with our teens and have time for our own interests back. Best phase of parenting so far despite the challenges.

You obviously have well behaved teens I have one but the other though lovely is a girl about town party girl and going through the worry of this again a third time would frankly finish me off

Gels and “up the duff” capsules are all the rage now.

As soon as you think you are feeling weirdly anxious a lot and worrying mightily about the smallest things. Make a note of it and track it.

Missed periods and hot flushes can be the LAST symptoms. And it’s easy to over look excessive worrying, brain fog, constant tiredness as just part of life with extra large children who want to be all independent just as their common sense descends into the same league as that of a deranged chicken.

I concur @TheaBrandt my second DD, now 16 has aged me about ten years in the last two with her antics. Had I known then what I know now I may have thought twice about the next two that followed her!

Speaking from the perspective of a parent of adults (4), absolutely I would do the same again. My children arent without their issues and problems which I wish were not so, but the basic questions of whether parenthood was the right choice for me and how many children to have, I have no regrets about.

No I’d have had 2, I have 7 and all have SEN/ other issues. If I knew what my life would be like I would have stopped at 2

I would never have brought any of my 3 kids into the world if I'd known about climate change

Absolutely NOT

Two maximum
I'd also choose a very different father

Hard to say as my third is still a baby but I've never regretted having a third.

My logic was I never regretted having a second so why would I regret having a third. Obviously only applies if you actually want another one.

I do think about how much easier things would have been had we stopped at 1 or 2 but would we be happier? I don't think so.

Well I have 3, they’re 21, 19 and 17, there have been lovely and awful times. I feel the responsibility immensely. We all get on well, chat a lot. They talk about having children in the future and I find myself almost telling them to think twice!! It’s lovely having a big family, but if I had my time again, knowing what it takes, I’m not sure….

I wouldn't change a thing. Some moments are hard, but the joy, love and happiness far outweighs any moments of stress.

I have two and sometimes still think of a third, even though it won't happen and shouldn't happy for emotional and financial reasons.
I just wish I could slow time down with them; time going so fast hurts my heart. I get so worried that when they are young adults, they will fly the coop and never look back.

I have 3. I love them dearly but I would have had none.

I love my 2, don't get me wrong, but I was not prepared for SEN children and the associated worry/struggle. Did not make me a better person, or my marriage stronger. Also at least one of them will be dependent on us for much longer than most young adults, possibly always, and what happens when we die? If someone had told me ahead of time, I might have opted out, not least because they've also suffered a lot. I always thought I'd be a great, chill mum, but that dream died a death. There's always the niggling feeling that I did something 'wrong'. And I am well aware that many have it worse.

I have two. Part of me would love another but I think we've reached our limit. I'm a little sad about never having another baby but the baby stage is over so quickly and then you've got to support them for at least the next 20 years.

My first is still only a baby so I’m not sure if I can properly answer this question. But yes, knowing what I know now I would still absolutely choose to have him. He’s amazing and while being a mum is hard, I do really enjoy it most of the time. I also still plan to have more children in the future so he hasn’t put me off yet.

I have two and it’s definitely the right number of DC for me.

Whether I would choose to have kids at all… Yes I would, however I am in the “golden stage” (kids age 10 and 8). I would have answered differently when they were under 5, and may answer differently again in the teenage years. But right now I’m enjoying it.

Wouldn't change a thing I have two.

Had one, wanted one. All is good in this house.

3 is great but you do need enough money. And good health and energy. I wouldn’t change anything but I think I would approach my career differently if I was starting again.

We have 4, debated a 5th but didn’t.
I wish we had tbh

I have one and it's the perfect number for me. The time I've been able to give him is so much more than my mum could give me because of my siblings, financially it is so much easier and we've been able to have some really lovely holidays (but still looking at having to top up uni loan by several grand, wouldn't want to do that more than once), and environmentally it is also the best thing anyone can do, to not have more kids.

I had my first at 18. I'm early 50s now.
If I could tell my younger self not to do it, I would.

My second is only 7 weeks old so very early but so far no regrets! I have loved seeing DD become a big sister and enjoying doing the baby thing all over again- may be tempted for a third but it’s the financial side of things that worries me.

I had DD at 25 and she was very much an accident- it wasn’t ideal at the time as DH and I were in a very new relationship, rented flat, no money, etc. But in some ways I’m glad I started relatively early and she’s benefited from youngish active grandparents and there’s been no time pressure for me to decide on having more kids. I’m 30 now so potentially another 10 years to decide if I want a third

If you’d asked me when my third was 2 or under I would have said I wish I’d stuck to two. Now that he’s 7, I’m glad we have three. The difference and similarities in their attitudes and characteristics is wondrous to see.

I was telling DH the other day- and he agreed- that if we were rich and could afford full time nannies, a cleaner and a cook, big house etc I’d have had at least 5 children… and enjoyed my time with each of them coz I find kids amazing and their years growing full of surprises and hardships too. They up grow so quickly too.