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Help my adult son is missing

297 replies

Aliceinunderland · 23/09/2023 21:47

My son is 23 and he has been missing since 11th September. I reported him missing the same day as it was out of character for him to miss work. He walked out of the house with nothing other than his bank card. His phone hasn't been turned on since the night he left.
So far I have:
Contacted all of his friends and contacts
Done a social media campaign
Battled with the police and filed two official complaints due to failures to investigate
Worked with missing people uk to do a media campaign
Handed out posters in the area that we have had one sighting. Unfortunately this is not our local area so it is difficult to go every day.

What else can I do? I've emailed and called every service I can find to share his photograph. Is there anything else anyone can suggest? I'm beyond devastated and will try anything at this point. Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
Aliceinunderland · 23/09/2023 22:47

RosesAndHellebores · 23/09/2023 22:37

Wishing you well op and hoping he is OK, wherever he is.

Might he have needed to disappear? Had he been involved in anything a bit dodgy? Not meant badly but as another avenue to follow.

Thank you. This is my fear too but his friends say they don't think this is the case. I know he's 23 but he is quite vulnerable and easily manipulated. He has ADHD as well so he doesn't always think through the consequences.

OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 23/09/2023 22:47

Does have any Irish connections he could have flown from Luton to meet up with?

hotpotlover · 23/09/2023 22:47

God, I am so sorry. What a nightmare, you must be going through hell.

PuppyMcPupFace · 23/09/2023 22:47

Have the police tried locating him through his phone?

LulooLemon · 23/09/2023 22:47

Hope you get good news soon, OP

JaniceBattersby · 23/09/2023 22:48

Please ring the local newspaper directly OP and tell them you’ll do an interview. I’m a local journalist and I do this for people quite frequently. I’m always sensitive and only write what they feel comfortable with.

Unfortunately there are dozens of missing people campaigns on Facebook every day but a piece in the paper gives it more gravitas and a much more targeted reach.

I hope you find your boy.

MsRosley · 23/09/2023 22:48

I'm so sorry, OP. I do hope you find him soon.

frazzled22 · 23/09/2023 22:48

Whereabouts in Luton was he seen? The town centre? I'm not far from Luton so could share on local FB groups etc if you want me to?

Aliceinunderland · 23/09/2023 22:48

CurlyhairedAssassin · 23/09/2023 22:43

I don't want to bang on about it. But he left on Sept 11th. He took his bank card and possibly has checked it (perhaps seeing if a sum of money has been paid into it). He is vulnerable mentally. It pricks up my "Prevent" duty ears.

Thank you, I will look more into this. It's not an area I know much about.

OP posts:
Drivingmecrazydizzy · 23/09/2023 22:48

Will share! Hope he’s found safe and well xx

Alltheyearround · 23/09/2023 22:49

Just here to give you a handhold OP. Praying that you find your lovely son as soon as possible. Glad posters have given useful suggestions.

Let's hope one of those brings you closer.
Keep us posted on any updates when you can.

frazzled22 · 23/09/2023 22:50

CurlyhairedAssassin · 23/09/2023 22:43

I don't want to bang on about it. But he left on Sept 11th. He took his bank card and possibly has checked it (perhaps seeing if a sum of money has been paid into it). He is vulnerable mentally. It pricks up my "Prevent" duty ears.

And this could tie in with the diversity of Luton culture possibly.

Aliceinunderland · 23/09/2023 22:51

JaniceBattersby · 23/09/2023 22:48

Please ring the local newspaper directly OP and tell them you’ll do an interview. I’m a local journalist and I do this for people quite frequently. I’m always sensitive and only write what they feel comfortable with.

Unfortunately there are dozens of missing people campaigns on Facebook every day but a piece in the paper gives it more gravitas and a much more targeted reach.

I hope you find your boy.

Thank you I will try this too. I have approached a few already but I don't think the story was interesting enough for them as they didn't reply.

OP posts:
SmellsLikeTeenSpirits · 23/09/2023 22:51

A private investigator? They’re often ex-police so could work on last known movements, chasing up leads, reviewing available data (phone, financial, ring cams and other cctv etc) and build up a picture?

I’m so sorry you are going through this x

CrazyHamsterLady · 23/09/2023 22:54

I’d be searching his room with a fine tooth comb to see if there’s any clues. Things like bus or train tickets in pockets to places that he wouldn’t normally go to, if so he may have gone there now. Are you 100% he’s not on social media, not even by another user name? Have you searched dating sites for him? He may have hooked up with someone, not sure how you would connect with whoever it is though. I’m trying to think out of the box here 🤔

jswnp · 23/09/2023 22:54

How awful, OP. I'm sorry that I can't be if any help.

Aliceinunderland · 23/09/2023 22:55

frazzled22 · 23/09/2023 22:48

Whereabouts in Luton was he seen? The town centre? I'm not far from Luton so could share on local FB groups etc if you want me to?

The passerby wasn't too sure of the location because he was walking his dog but he thinks it was near Markyate/Stockwood Park.

OP posts:
Aliceinunderland · 23/09/2023 22:56

SmellsLikeTeenSpirits · 23/09/2023 22:51

A private investigator? They’re often ex-police so could work on last known movements, chasing up leads, reviewing available data (phone, financial, ring cams and other cctv etc) and build up a picture?

I’m so sorry you are going through this x

Ah ok is this something they can do? I phoned one company but they said all they would do is visit the last known location and ask around. It may be worth ringing a few more though to see if other companies do more.

OP posts:
romdowa · 23/09/2023 22:57

CrazyHamsterLady · 23/09/2023 22:54

I’d be searching his room with a fine tooth comb to see if there’s any clues. Things like bus or train tickets in pockets to places that he wouldn’t normally go to, if so he may have gone there now. Are you 100% he’s not on social media, not even by another user name? Have you searched dating sites for him? He may have hooked up with someone, not sure how you would connect with whoever it is though. I’m trying to think out of the box here 🤔

I agree with this and looking at his laptop / computer and other tec. I hope you find him op

Cinnamope · 23/09/2023 22:58

I’m sorry I don’t have anything useful to add but I wanted to say I’m sorry you are in this situation and I hope you find your son.x

Aliceinunderland · 23/09/2023 23:00

romdowa · 23/09/2023 22:57

I agree with this and looking at his laptop / computer and other tec. I hope you find him op

Thank you. I will go through his things again. He only uses his mobile phone and he took that with him (it's been off since) so it's entirely possible he was on sites that I don't know of. Is there any way of finding this out without his phone? I could order another SIM card as his mobile contract is in my name but I don't want to leave him without means of getting in touch

OP posts:
GyozaGirl · 23/09/2023 23:00

Did he have discord or any gaming interest ? Or belong to any forums?

Longdistance · 23/09/2023 23:02

Omg! I’m in Luton. What area? Do you know? I’m not far from the town centre. I can certainly keep my eyes peeled. Have you tried contacting NOAH enterprise the homeless charity?

whatafuckinnightmare · 23/09/2023 23:02

Sorry to hear you're going through this.

I can't think of anything other than visiting the station and hounding the police every single day until they help you. Not sure it'd work but I can't think of anything that others haven't already mentioned.

Yellowflower47 · 23/09/2023 23:02

So sorry to hear you’re going through this. Any chance he’s got himself involved in something illegal and is worried about being in trouble with the police? Understandably you’re so worried, but the sightings and use of bank card hopefully suggest that he’s physically well. I would join local Facebook groups in Luton and post daily updates in the hope that someone sees him sleeping rough/in a shop etc.