Autistic Women Assemble! #2

[Nepmarthiturn]

Helloooo lovely people, a new thread for a us to continue to chat and connect with other autistic women (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

As before, anybody newly stumbling upon this is very welcome to join us (even if still awaiting diagnosis). But we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please, like the NT man we encountered in thread #1. 🤣

Oh I agree that it is quiet and threads don’t get as many responses as this thread does. In fact, I didn’t know this thread was here for quite a while. I think it is supportive though when I’ve looked in there

I have a question. (I may also take this over to the ND MNers board)

I'm never still. I can't just watch TV, I'm always on my phone at the same time, or I take it as an opportunity to put moisturiser on and faff about with my toiletries. Anyway, I also trace things with my eyes. I don't know how else to describe this, but I'll try. So if I'm watching TV in bed i do it with the wardrobe and blinds. Mentally tracing the outline of the wardrobe and the doors and hinges, detail etc then the same with the blinds x 5, can't stop till I'm done. If I'm in the lounge, I do it with the TV unit or window blinds there. (OCD tendencies were mentioned as part of my Autism diagnosis, but no further action was recommended) I can't decide if I do it more when I'm stressed, or if I'm noticing it because I'm stressed. It's hard to pin down.

Sometimes, I'm more settled and calm, but I'll still do this. Sometimes I'm not settled at all. What I mean to say that even on a good day I'm doing this dozens of times over, but it doesn't concern me. Other times, it makes me feel stressed and almost distressed.

Jeez.. so my actual question was - does anyone else do this?

I cannot JUST watch tv. The only time I can concentrate and completely shut off when watching a movie is in the cinema. At home I have on the tv and I have the laptop open responding on mumsnet (i hate using the phone) or I am doing laundry, cleaning the house and basically the tv is like my emotional support noise. I did lego the other night during three soaps but still know what happened in the soaps.

I used to watch the TV and read a book simultaneously.

Then the Internet burst into my life and I watched TV with the laptop open.

Now I watch TV and mess around on my phone.

I do the same thing, TV on and also on my phone/ipad.
When I was in year 4 at school my teacher would give me a little whiteboard and marker pen for me to doodle on. She knew I could both doodle and take in what she was saying. I’d originally had her in year 2, and it was her who first raised the possibility that I had Asperger’s (as it was back then). Although I didn’t get diagnosed till after I’d graduated university. I don’t know what made her think of it. Perhaps she’d had other autistic kids in her previous classes and noticed some of the traits in me.

There are people in my house. They’ve come to stay overnight. I don’t like overnight guests at the best of times but these are old friends of dh and they’ve come to
eat curry and drink beer. I’m living in a frat house!
I need to share the pain.

Am I the only person who fantasises about living alone? I want to sit in silence with nobody else’s crap around me. Just the things that I love.

Oh no! That sounds awful. There's only me and DD at home, but I fantasise about buying a house in the middle of nowhere.

I have the opposite problem, I can't multitask well so can't do anything while watching tv unless it's something DH choose and then I get bored, pick up my phone and realise I have no idea what happened. Oops.

Maybe I’m weird but I quite like living in London. I like living somewhere with lots to do (plus good WiFi and takeaway options). I don’t think I could live on my own for a significant length of time either. My house would be an absolute tip for starters 🤣😬

It is a lovely quiet seaside place I live in. I barely know my neighbours and have been here maybe 20 plus years. When I want to socialise I can do it no problem but currently finding it hard to so in recent weeks my friends have all come here to my hosue to see me instead of meeting in coffee shops etc. I just have not got the mental capacity for peopleing at the moment but I am lucky my friends see this and and accomodate me by coming to my house. I have only left the house to go to work and to the shop to be honest in over a week at this point.

Page 4 | Do you believe everyone is slightly autistic? | Mumsnet

Jesus wept.

As I said on that thread, the amount of Autism thread this Christmas has been astounding.

Some of the thread titles seem to be deliberately click-baity. In some cases, that's an unfortunate oversight of the genuine poster. In others, it's deliberately goady. Either way, it's attracted the usual negative and faux questioning reposnses from some.

Personally, I'd never post such a provocative title in chat or AIBU. I can see why someone may do so naively, or in good faith, but it sadly makes me question the authenticity people who do which is a real shame. Maybe it's just because I know what it can be like on here and so would avoid potential negative connotations at all costs.

@Psychoticbreak you gave some clear answers there. I can’t read the entire thread, far too upsetting. No doubt it will eventually turn into an echo chamber with the nts deciding that it’s just a ploy to get benefits.

@toffee1000 i also like living in London, for much the same reasons. Plus I hate driving and couldn't deal with having to drive everywhere (I can drive but hate doing so anywhere unfamiliar).

Good morning all and Happy New Year.

Hope everyone is good. I nodded off last night, but DD woke me at 11.55 as she wanted to see in the New Year for the first time. It was a nice little ritual - we let the New Year in the front door, and the old Year out the back - which we will hopefully repeat next year.

Sometime, waking up on NYD makes me feel a bit discombobulated and under pressure. I feel OK today though, ready for fresh starts, but no resolutions as such, as again that's just stress and pressure.

I did think about making a resolution to not comment on some of the Autism threads, but I'll hold off on that too, as sometimes it's cathartic.

I got out of bed and have stripped it (i wil regret this when i have to remake it) have laundry on, kitchen cleaned and I have had pasta for breakfast cos that is what i fancied lol I have the side door open for letting in air but still the curtains pulled at the front of the house. I just want to sit for a bit now and not see or hear people. Luckily kids are teens so ignoring them is easy but i feel so so tired today. Mentally tired.

Happy New Year everyone! 🎉

My DD got upset last night that it would never be 2023 again. She is SO much like me it is uncanny. I remember crying on NYE when around her age that "it would never be the 1980s again". She is so aware already of the passage of time, of loss, of mortality.

I tried to reassure her by saying we don't lose the year we've had because we keep the memories forever and asked her what her favourite memories were. Then we have so many new adventures to look forward to and we would never experience them if time does not pass. More holidays, more birthdays, another summer, another Christmas.

I avoid NY resolutions now because I think they are so black and white usually - fail or succeed - and it just feels like pressure. I'm trying to step back a bit from the relentlessness of day to day life (and this time off over Christmas has been soooo good for that) and look at the bigger picture of what I've managed to do over the last few years. I think some broader goals for the year are good, but I don't want good intentions to turn into another stick to beat myself with!

I am absolutely dreading going back to the normal routine of work/ school/ demands/ people 🤯🤯🤯🤯 this week. I wish I had the money to retire. But trying to look forwards to happy things, and glad the solstice has passed so it will gradually start to get lighter and less dismal, I hope, with spring on the horizon.

@Nepmarthiturn your DD sounds so much like mine (and myself) at that age bless her. Mine is currently mourning her childhood. She's 12, and had a rough couple of years with never ending medical issues, so I don't blame her. One minute she's 8, then the Pandemic comes along then she blinks and she's almost a teen. Difficult enough going through puberty at the best of times.

Hassle Me Year!

That's what my auto-correct decided I meant first.
I use swiping instead of typing and it can't write certain words.
V. annoying.

I much prefer typing properly on my laptop. At least then I can write HAPPY NEW YEAR without difficulty.

I coloured my hair today, to celebrate the new year.

@RainbowZebraWarrior that must have affected your DD so much to have the pandemic in such important, formative years. 😔 Like you said it's such a difficult transition into secondary school and teenage years anyway without years of your childhood stolen like that and autism and medical issues on top. My two were only 1.5 and 3 when the first lockdown came so while it was horrific for me (nursery shut, trying to care for them and WFH and not allowed to see another adult at all for three months as a lone parent because children weren't exempt from the "only meeting one other person outside" rule!) they were not so affected because they don't remember it, and they had each other. It must have been so much harder in some ways for people with school aged children.

I was saying to my children at breakfast time that the happiest people are those who find a way to live in the present and enjoy something about each day. Plans for the future are important but we don't want to wish life away and things never turn out how you expect anyway. Memories are treasures and we can learn from them but if we live in the past we lose the time we are in now. Much easier said than done though! I am a total hypocrite but trying to plant seeds of thought to give them better ways of coping and seeing the world than me!!

@TheShellBeach "hassle me year" is what we definitely do not want. 🤣🤣

What colour did you do your hair?

Golden blonde.
It was always dark blonde till I got old.

Then I started colouring it, but gently. So it looks about a shade lighter than it was naturally.

That sounds lovely!

Lazy day sounds good then!

I did my bed sheets yesterday at around 3am, having procrastinated about it for around 2 hours when it took 15 mins to do. 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄