Autistic Women Assemble! #2

[Nepmarthiturn]

Helloooo lovely people, a new thread for a us to continue to chat and connect with other autistic women (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

As before, anybody newly stumbling upon this is very welcome to join us (even if still awaiting diagnosis). But we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please, like the NT man we encountered in thread #1. 🤣

What is it?
im curious about it now!

@Rummikub InfinityADHD

Page 2 | I am NOT disabled | Mumsnet

I've never seen so many arguments on MN about Neurodivergence as I have in the past few days. I don't think that latest thread has helped whatsoever. I'm sick of it all, tbh.

I just wanted to pop on and say thank you all for taking me under your wing. I have read and listened to so much about ND that I now understand much more about myself and how ignorant I really was to all of this before so even if I was not ND myself it is good to have the knowledge and it is a shame that NT people are not made read up on it all before making ridiculous claims and comments like on that thread I linked to. Thank you all for the information x

@Psychoticbreak I frequently have no mental energy available to argue the toss with people about neurodiversity. I don't mean you. I mean all the tossers on those threads.

Sometimes I fight back and sometimes I crawl under a stone, unable to take their cruel barbs.

I think because it is so fresh for me I feel I am 'fighting for my people' 😂
I may not bother in future. People who want to be ignorant will stay that way. At least when I was ignorant I was also not judging. I dont judge people at all and have a live and let live attitude i think that is why I cannot bear gossip and small talk.

It has made me really happy to read your posts on here @Psychoticbreak and how much happier you sound than you were a few weeks ago. It's great that the thread is a safe haven for us all without having to withdraw completely and feel isolated when things are difficult and I'm glad you found us and it has helped you, too.

Like @TheShellBeach sometimes I counter those threads and sometimes I'm too exhausted. I have noticed that in the last few days MN are responding slightly better to reports: removing some offensive comments and posting warnings stating that ableism is against the talk guidelines (although one would think that should be obvious, clearly to some it is not!!). Perhaps it is the start of a shift in their moderating practices so I do feel it is worth continually calling out the ableism and reporting it but I can only do it when I have the energy. It's heartening to see other posters doing the same more frequently also.

I am loving this time between Christmas and NY! No social plans at all except my son having a friend over to play for a bit tomorrow. Full on hibernating, no demands on our time, no clock-watching, endless tasks, emails, phone calls, school stuff, work stuff. It's complete bliss and my children are so much happier. It's so rare usually for us to get peace and undisturbed time together. Just lego building, fridge-raiding and watching films by the fire. I am absolutely dreading going back to the normal routine!

I am absolutely dreading going back to the normal routine!

Yep. Also really enjoying myself. A bit too much.

I'm on a couple of weight loss threads on here.

I posted my weight (17st 2lb) on one of them, and there's another women worrying about being 8st 12lb, and wanting to lose more.

You couldn't make it up.

Hold the front page.
She is actually 8st 10lb.

I think the last time I was that weight was 25 years ago.

Mixed bag here, relating to time off. DD is still unwell and disregulated, so I'm trying to do right for her. I mustn't quite be feeling myself either as I absolutely cannot for life of me concentrate on any TV. I've watched Miranda back to back for two weeks now as I'm having to choose something that is familiar. A sure sign of disregulation myself perhaps.

Shell, I need to be accountable for my weight starting very soon so I will be looking for a thread to do so on. I'll get weighed tomorrow - I think I'm around 16.5 stone, so anyone on a weight loss thread around 8 stone is going to depress me somewhat. I think I was 10 years old the last time I weighed that!

Our new telly is driving me mad.
I love the 50in screen, but do not understand why it won't accept a USB stick of more than 16gb.

I've bought a 1 terabyte one which it won't accept, despite formatting.

So I gave the 1 terabyte stick to DS and bought a 128.

The telly doesn't recognise it, either.

And I don't seem to be able to watch anything via the BT box anymore.

Argh.

Hi, I just wanted to say if you wanted another safe space, there is the Neurodiverse Mumsnetters topic. It is quiet and not much traffic but it might be good as another option.

From, a fellow autistic

Aargh @TheShellBeach how frustrating! I hate setting up new tech. Have new tablets for the kids and need to set up parental controls etc. 🤯🤯

@RainbowZebraWarrior I'm sorry to hear your DD is still unwell. It's such a huge drain mentally seeing your child struggle and trying to support them so I'm not surprised you're also now feeling dysregulated. Is there anything you like to do together that is restorative and grounding for both of you?

Well wow!

After weeks of chaos and misery, I made Mr Shell Beach go behind the telly to try to sort it out before I had a nervous breakdown.

It took him about ten seconds to put the aerial into the BT box..............

Oops.

But this is why I love him.
He didn't tell me I was an idiot, nor did he boast about his great success.

He just went back to mopping the kitchen floor, while I started to watch Hello Dolly.

Hi JewelleryCat. It's been a while since I've been on the ND MNers board, but I spent a lot of time there when it was sparkly new and no diagnosis was quite new. Think I'll pop over for a look around later. Thanks.

Fabulous, Shell! Mr Shell is indeed a good 'un.

Well done that man!

Thanks @JewelleryCat, good reminder. I haven't looked for a while. It always seemed very supportive when I found it, although I didn't realise it was there for some time because it's hidden (understand why). And threads didn't get many responses. But another safe space to talk without horrible attacks which is great!

I think this is how I know I'm dysregulated and my attention span is shot to shit. I spent all day yesterday asking myself if I wanted to go for a walk, watch a film, read a book, draw, write, stare at the wall. I asked myself what I like doing and I couldn't remember. I'm doing something for 30 seconds then wandering off. I'm trying to tackle the mess of Christmas by tidying 3 things away every hour, which is painfully slow. I'm watching the TV and my head is just going "shall I persevere with this? Am I enjoying it? When will it be finished? Shall I pause it while I go and play with the cat?" Cue pausing TV. Playing with the cat, checking MN, checking emails. Wandering off..

Im totally out of routine. It will all click back into place in its own time.

That sounds so frustrating. I hate it when I try to relax but have this list of tasks in my head so am not actually relaxing anyway, just sitting still while washing-machine-brain churns with stress. I try to divide up tasks into lists of what I'll do each day, set times to do them all with diary reminders/ alarms, and then I find it a bit easier to switch off from them in between and put them out of my head. Procrastination is a killer because then you are stressed the whole time and everything takes forever! I hate myself for this. It feels like time just drifts past, almost like I've been in a time lapse sometimes. Grrrr. Then feel like hardly anything got done anyway. 😩 I hope you can find balance again soon.

This PM I'm determined to build my giant lego man. 😁

www.lego.com/en-gb/product/up-scaled-lego-minifigure-40649

This is me on the daily.

I see jokes on social media around NEVER SIT DOWN if you have ADHD otherwise you’ll sit there for hours and achieve nothing. That’s me. I’ll be sitting there consumed with self loathing for being so idle, but even that isn’t enough motivation for me to get up and do some tedious chores. I wish I knew what the secret was.

Me too! It’s understandable why someone puts off boring chores eg tidying a room or washing dirty clothes, but sometimes I’ll be sitting on my bed and thinking “ooh, I’d really like to play a game on my computer right now, but I can’t be arsed to move”. Computer games are fun, right? So why am I putting off something fun? 😑