Your stage of parenting at 40

[Isthistherealworldisthisjustfantasy]

Where are you at?
How do you feel about it?

I'm 40 and have a young family. I had my last baby last year. Still breastfeeding.

In my mind, I feel like I'm late 20s/early 30s and my stage of parenting kind of fits in with this delusion.

A few days ago, a father and son were on Instagram. The dad was 41 and the son was a big strapping 22 year old man, and at first, my husband (who is 41) was a bit discombobulated. I reminded him that we are old enough to not just have adult children, but grandchildren too. We sat there with our minds blowing. We do understand the maths, obviously, but we feel in such a different stage of life to our biological ages.

We started talking about how a woman has quite a long season where she can potentially get pregnant. I just saw on the news that Natasha Hamilton, who is 41, is pregnant, and I had a moment of feeling a pang of envy before I reminded myself that while I'd love another child, we are stopping at the 3 we have. I know that lots of 40 year old women would be horrified at the thought of pregnancy as their children are teens or adults.

Anyway, I think around 40 is a unique period of time in a woman's life where she can technically be a grandmother and still get pregnant and I was wondering where you all are by 40!

How old are your kids? Have you any grandchildren? Did you have all of your kids when you were young, spread over time or not until later? How would you feel if you got pregnant now? How would you feel if you became a grandmother now? Has anyone experienced both at the same time?

Child free. I had my daughter at 42. 😁

Mine will be both be teenagers by then (and adults by the time I'm 45...)

44, mum to a 14 and 15 year old and still broody.

At 40 I had a 1 year old and was ttc. I’m 51 now and have a 12 year old and a almost 7 year old.

39 with an 18 and 15 year old

When I’m 40 I’ll have a 12, 10 and 7 year old ….. & hopefully no more! I’m 32 now and pregnant with my last all being well.

I felt on the younger side when I I had my first at 27 but now that I have a 5 year old and all my friends are just starting their family’s I feel relieved to be on the home stretch having my last one. My baby years will be over in a few short years 😊

At 40 mine were 7, 4 & 2. Happy days.

40 and 37 with an 18 year old and a 16 year old

Both DH and I are 40. We have a 19 yr old and a 13 yr old. I'm glad we had our first at 21. I love the independence we've got now.

At 40 I had 14, 10 and 6 year olds. In contrast my best friends had not yet had her first child.

40 with a two year old. We’d love another but got a few things going on, maybe we’ll try next year.

Ive mixed feelings about it all. I think I’d be less tired if I was younger!! But looking back now I wouldn’t have wanted to have a baby with all the idiot men I thought were suitable when I was in my 20’s/early 30’s. My life would be very different as a single mum.

I will have a 3 year old and potentially be looking at no. 2

DS was a two year old when I turned 40. Like you, I met a few people (mostly patients) who assumed I was DS’s granny, because they couldn’t imagine anyone having kids over age 20 🤷‍♀️

When I'm 40 I'll have a 9 and a 5 year old. Part of me would love another but they're hard work aren't they!

I was pregnant with one dc at nursery and one in yr2.

I am 42 my dc are 26,22,17 and 15. The thought of being pregnant or having little kids at my age actually makes me feel quite queasy tbh. I am at the age where dp and I can go out have fun pretty much do what we want and the kids are well and truly old enough to look after themselves while we do so.

24, 20, 7. I felt very old as a parent in late thirties in comparison to twenties. I had so much more energy!

42 with a 15yo, 12yo and a 9yo and really loving it and by the time I'm 50 I'll be having the time of my life travelling and pleasing myself.

I’m 52 with a 25 / 20 / 18 and 5 yr old 😀

I’m 41, DC are 17 and 16.

A friend has a newborn and I sat holding him (hardly daring to breathe in case I dropped him or something!) and it blew my mind to think I could technically have a baby that age too - it feels like that stage of life is well and truly done.

Mine was born when I was 40. Now 42 with a newborn. I couldn’t be happier.

At 40 I was still ttc and on around the 6th year of it

Finally after ttc 10yrs and 5 private ivf I finally got preg and had mini blondes at almost 44 - who is now 6 - im 50

44, mine are 22,18 13 & 12 sometimes I can’t believe I have 22 year old either but miss them being toddlers. My youngest has asd so it’s full on despite their ages

Not 40 yet, but when I am I will have a 13 year old and an 8 year old. Married 25 and first baby at 27. I'm kind of looking forward to our 40s as our kids will be more independent then and maybe we will get a few mins break!

By 40 (5 years to go!) I'll have a 18 and 15 year old