Your stage of parenting at 40

[Isthistherealworldisthisjustfantasy]

Where are you at?
How do you feel about it?

I'm 40 and have a young family. I had my last baby last year. Still breastfeeding.

In my mind, I feel like I'm late 20s/early 30s and my stage of parenting kind of fits in with this delusion.

A few days ago, a father and son were on Instagram. The dad was 41 and the son was a big strapping 22 year old man, and at first, my husband (who is 41) was a bit discombobulated. I reminded him that we are old enough to not just have adult children, but grandchildren too. We sat there with our minds blowing. We do understand the maths, obviously, but we feel in such a different stage of life to our biological ages.

We started talking about how a woman has quite a long season where she can potentially get pregnant. I just saw on the news that Natasha Hamilton, who is 41, is pregnant, and I had a moment of feeling a pang of envy before I reminded myself that while I'd love another child, we are stopping at the 3 we have. I know that lots of 40 year old women would be horrified at the thought of pregnancy as their children are teens or adults.

Anyway, I think around 40 is a unique period of time in a woman's life where she can technically be a grandmother and still get pregnant and I was wondering where you all are by 40!

How old are your kids? Have you any grandchildren? Did you have all of your kids when you were young, spread over time or not until later? How would you feel if you got pregnant now? How would you feel if you became a grandmother now? Has anyone experienced both at the same time?

I'm 43. My eldest is 21, and my youngest has just turned 1.

I also have teens, a tween and primary-aged... so I don't really fit into any category very well!

40 now, DH 44. I've got 17M (w/ex), 5F and 3F. I don't feel old most of the time. And, it's definitely weird that my grandma was younger than I am when I was born, I feel WAY too young to be a grandma.

So weird I came across this thread and remembered your name @workworkworkugh

your mega thread about DS and his girlfriend. Did that all resolve itself nicely?

sorry to derail!

At 40 my two were 17 and 15.

Mid 40s now, youngest at uni and eldest working in NYC.

At 40 I had a 6 and 1 year old. I wished I'd had them earlier as better able to cope with lack of sleep and, most importantly, they'd have longer with their grandparents.

@ReadtheReviews this!! I’m sad for mine as they never really knew their grandparents from either side as I had my first at 40 and second at 45. I was so lucky to have them as my first was IVF and my second a very unexpected natural conception! But they’re such lovely kids and we’re a loving happy family and nothing in life is perfect is it? We’re just lucky to have them and could not feel more blessed! It was hard though when I had the little ones without my mum. I missed her so much after she died when my daughter was 1. They’re now 27 and 22 and one has left home to live with her partner and my son is half in and half out with a job that takes him away from home quite a bit. They’re both hoping to buy a house in the next year. They’re hard working and great kids and we love them to death!! So I’m a nutshell I guess I could say that my life began at 40!!!!

So weird I came across this thread and remembered your name @workworkworkugh
your mega thread about DS and his girlfriend. Did that all resolve itself nicely?

@Ohambassador yes it did in the end, they broke up nearly 2 years ago now! It took him a long time to move past what happened, but he has a new girlfriend now who is just lovely. Thank you

I am 43 with a 16 and 19 year old they will be 17 and 20 in June.

What I find hard is having friends who haven't got teens as I feel left out when my friends have Primary age children and a bit jealous. I do babysit though and work with children.

I’m 41 with 6, 3 and 1 yo. Close school friends both have kids aged 12 and 10. My very best friend died of cancer at 41 last year. My granny is 100. Literally couldn’t care less about age. Surely bigger things to worry about!?

When I was 40, I had a 15 year old. Now 42, with a 17 year old and happy to be able to leave the house alone, she does her own thing but we also do lovely things together. Very happy with where we are in the parenting journey.

When I was 40 (now 41) I had a 21 and 17 yro. I'm glad I had them when I was younger, I don't think I could handle the baby/toddler stage now 😁

I'm 42 op and have that same sensation when I see people my age with grown up kids. My nephew and niece and grown up (early 20s) and I was late teens when they were born, legally old enough to be their parent etc. but it still confuses me 🤣🤣.

At 40 I had a 6 year old and 2 year old twins. Def done because of restrictions time, space, money and sanity.

I'm so sad to think if they follow their father's timeline, they won't have babies until their 40s and I'll be too old to run around and play with them, if we're even alive. I feel guilty that we won't be there for grandchildren but life is what it is.

My sister with the grown up kids also has two more similar ages to mine who, in a different life, would have overlapped with a grandchild.

My Mom was a Nan by 40 as well as having a pre teen of her own

On my 40th birthday I had a two year old and was 38 weeks pregnant.

Not 40 yet but when I am I'll have two 18 year olds, a 15 year old and a 13 year old 🤯