Your stage of parenting at 40

[Isthistherealworldisthisjustfantasy]

Where are you at?
How do you feel about it?

I'm 40 and have a young family. I had my last baby last year. Still breastfeeding.

In my mind, I feel like I'm late 20s/early 30s and my stage of parenting kind of fits in with this delusion.

A few days ago, a father and son were on Instagram. The dad was 41 and the son was a big strapping 22 year old man, and at first, my husband (who is 41) was a bit discombobulated. I reminded him that we are old enough to not just have adult children, but grandchildren too. We sat there with our minds blowing. We do understand the maths, obviously, but we feel in such a different stage of life to our biological ages.

We started talking about how a woman has quite a long season where she can potentially get pregnant. I just saw on the news that Natasha Hamilton, who is 41, is pregnant, and I had a moment of feeling a pang of envy before I reminded myself that while I'd love another child, we are stopping at the 3 we have. I know that lots of 40 year old women would be horrified at the thought of pregnancy as their children are teens or adults.

Anyway, I think around 40 is a unique period of time in a woman's life where she can technically be a grandmother and still get pregnant and I was wondering where you all are by 40!

How old are your kids? Have you any grandchildren? Did you have all of your kids when you were young, spread over time or not until later? How would you feel if you got pregnant now? How would you feel if you became a grandmother now? Has anyone experienced both at the same time?

When I'm 40 I will have a 17 year old and a 14 year old

At 40 i was pregnant with my one and only, who is now 14!

I am 29 with a 5 year old so when I'm 40 he will be 16. Very interested in this thread as am open to the idea of a second baby later in life but also happy with the idea of having one child who is independent (hopefully) by the time I'm 42/45 :)

At 40 I had a 20 year old and an 11 year old. Now 44. Couldn't imagine going back to the baby/toddler days as I am finally getting my freedom back after years slogging it out as a single parent.

I’m 40 with a 22 and 20 year old. If I had my time over again I wouldn’t have had children so young but at the same time, I’m still pretty young and my children are pretty much independent.

No grandchildren thankfully and I don’t want any for a good few years.

I will be 40 in a couple of years and my kids will be 16 and 14. I sometimes think I actually feel younger now than I did 10 years ago as I actually get to do things that I want to do now, with and without the kids as we enjoy the same things. I guess I'm reverting back to how I would be pre-children as I'm getting my freedom back. Yesterday we had a day out at museums and shopping with the kids, had a lovely day - kids chose activities but I would definitely pick the same. On Friday it's our anniversary so DH and I are going out on our own for the day. I'm working ft again so have more money. If we go to a theme park we're not waiting in line for the baby rides. We don't go to farms or soft plays or even trampoline parks. Holidays aren't based around kids clubs, we are choosing based on locations we want to visit and the things we want to see - we go on a cruise in October and plans to do lots of sightseeing, in contrast we did a cruise 8 years ago and barely got off the ship as the kids wanted to do kid things on board. I'm just having a lot more of my own fun, so no I don't feel old for having older kids

I'm 42. Our eldest is 18. Youngest 13.

I feel the same age as my eldest in my head but physically I feel ancient.

Parenting teens is the hardest thing I've EVER DONE.

I’m 40 with an 18 year old and a 7 year old. 7 years of unexplained infertility from when we started trying for ds2. We’d made our peace with only having 1 child and he snuck in at the last minute! I wouldn’t change anything about it. I think I’m a a better parent now I’m older too. DH is more patient. I’d say 70% of parents of ds2’s class are my age too. And it was funny to see 4-5 women who were on the first school run with me with our oldest now doing the second with their youngest child. So it seems quite common.

I am 41 my dc are 19.18.15 and 11. My last child has special needs. I couldnt imagine having a baby to look after now and definitely wouldn't want to.

Sal

Had my first at 40 and second at 43. Now 50 and really feeling it. I actually would not recommend children this late. I reckon mid 40’s /50 is a fabulous time to start a new phase in life and you really don’t want kids holding you back from this. Either don’t have them, or have them young and get them out of the way.

When I’m 40 DD’s will be 11 and 14.

I always said I’d happily have a third if I happened to meet someone before I turned 40 but in all honesty the thought of having a toddler fills me with dread!

I agree with you op.
My oldest niece and nephew are in their early to mid 20s. Legally I'm old enough to be their Mom. But my actual kids are 8, 3 and 3 (I'm 41). My son's TA is young enough to be my child and I'm one of the older Moms at school esp for the twins.
But all my school and Uni mates have kids similar in age to me. It's crazy to think we could all be texting about the grandkids and swanning off unencumbered by commitment for our girls weekends instead of texting about our own kids and trying to find a few free days amongst all the kids.

I’m 40 and have a 14 and 11 year old.

At 40 I had an 8 year old and a 5 year old. Lovely ages.

When I was 40 my kids were 11, 8 and 4. I can't think of anything I would have liked less than being a grandmother in my 40's. I'm hoping I won't be in my 50's either but I guess one could sneak in.

I'm not 40 yet. But when I am my only DC will be 14.

My best friend will be 40 with a 19yo again no more kids so our 40s will be full of travelling together and with our huabands I hope!

41, 6yo and 4yo.

Beginning to feel like it's a casino where if the balls land on the wrong place, dd's teenage and my menopause will align with horrific results!

I’m a bit younger at almost 34 and have a 2 year old. We’re TTC number 2 and would like a third, so ideally by 40, I would have a 9 year old, a 6 year old and maybe a 3/4 year old.

I have an acquaintance from school who had her children at 16 & 17, so next year she will have adult children when she is 35.

Where I grew up, it’s really common to have a mum and a grandma at the school gates who are the same age (ie under 40).

At 40 mine was 5

I'm 41 and have a 2 year old. Happy with where I am - I got travelling and living in other countries etc out my system in my 20s and 30s. Can see the upside of having them younger as well, it's all just what's best for us as individuals at that specific time of our life.

I had a preschool child at 40. DH was well over a decade away from even having children when he was 40!

At 40 I had newborn triplets.

When I'm 40 I will have a 10yr old, 8 yr old and 6yr old. My husband is 42 and we currently have a 5yr old, 3yr old and 1yr old. We do sometimes find it strange that he's old enough to have fully grown adult children while I could easily have children that are older teenagers

At 40 DC were 12 and 9. Everyone else I knew either had toddlers or grown kids at that age.

I'm 47 and my child will be 9 next month. The 'death maths' came into my head recently - I'll be 68 when she turns 30 which seems crazy old. Im spending a lot of time trying to maintain healthy lifestyle some im around for as long as possible!