Children Who Ignore Adults?

[JoJoBoZoe]

When did this become a thing and since when do parents allow this rude behaviour?

Whenever I'm on the school run or at parties and I meet with parents, I aways greet them and say hello and also hello to their child.

The amount of children that don't reply and ignore me and the parents say nothing is ridiculous! They just say " she's in a mood or she's tired "

I was raised, when an adult was speaking to me, that I answer them. If I'd have tried to ignore someone my Mother would have made me reply and would have embarrassed me.

Have all basic manners gone out of the window?

How old we talking about?

Yes, I agree with you. I work on a supermarket checkout and the majority of children ignore me when I say hello to them, they can’t all be shy. Toddlers tend be friendly though.

Around 6 years.

I think this is a generational thing, my mum never forced us to speak to people but I know a lot of other parents that did.
I personally wouldn’t force my child to say hello or greet someone, kids need to know their own boundaries in my opinion and if they don’t want to speak they don’t have to. Just as I wouldn’t if I didn’t want to

I'm not talking about children talking to random strangers. I'm talking about children who know people or that are at least familiar to them.

Absolute nonsense. Saying hello and greeting someone is basic manners, ignoring someone who greets you is rude.

I agree OP, I bet I know which way this is going to go though.

Flowers94
I think this is a generational thing, my mum never forced us to speak to people but I know a lot of other parents that did.
I personally wouldn’t force my child to say hello or greet someone, kids need to know their own boundaries in my opinion and if they don’t want to speak they don’t have to. Just as I wouldn’t if I didn’t want to

Absolute nonsense. Saying hello and greeting someone is basic manners, ignoring someone who greets you is rude.

@Berlinlover I couldn't agree more.

This is a bug bear of mine as well. I’m talking key stage 2 children. Especially ones walking to school on their own or with mates. They know who I am, have had days out and play dates and parties etc with me and our children over the years. Friends with my children, been to our home a hundred times. Yet completely blank me if they see me on the school run. It’s not just one child either. It’s a number of them. Although some I must say are very polite. I’m afraid I now take the ‘embarrassing mum’ route of saying ‘hello and their name loudly and waving until I get a response. It’s strange as they are nice children with fab parents. I’m assuming it’s early teen angst and I’m just terribly embarrassing to know. which I’m happy to live up to.

I’ve drilled into my children to say hello if someone greets them. And apparently they do.

My son is 5, nearly 6, and shy. He wouldn’t say hello to you with all the prompting in the world.
My eldest is 7 and super outgoing, would chat your ear off. My 2 year old would be chatty and wave/smile.

DS5 isn’t rude, just shy. So what I can do is try to help him do things out of his comfort zone to increase his confidence, not scold him for not saying hello to a stranger!

@Flowers94 they don’t have to stop and chat, but a smile as yuu go past is basic manners. They’ll struggle to hold down friendships (and jobs) as adults if they just decide they can’t be bothered to say hello some days.

I have shy children who refuse to speak to other adults, I will wait a bit if someone talks to them and see if they respond but if they don’t I will reply on their behalf. It’s very awkward but I don’t want to make a big issue out of it. Sometimes I’ll have a chat with them afterwards about how it’s polite to respond but it makes no difference, it’s just who they are. I’m hoping they’ll grow out of it.

I wish I could get my 6 year old to greet people but unfortunately he can't he's none verbal and even after all these years he still won't wave to someone. What can I do to teach him to great people?

Does he have a talker/I Pad that he uses?

Don't you just say hi and move on. Can't say I really noticed if children responded, if they did lovely, if not i couldnt say i cared. To the petson who waves and shouts out to embarrass children, why would you do that. How is that modelling good manners. I think it's showing you up rather than the child.

My teen DD won't talk to family let alone another parent in the street. She's almost always been mute in public.

I think to be honest, it's speaking more about the parents and their parenting than anything. I guess the kids don't really stand a chance.

To be honest, adults aren't required to speak to and be nice to other adults they don't feel comfortable talking to so why should children. You've given school run and parties as your two main examples, these are two occasions where children are tired and generally overestimated and there is lots happening around them. So not all children will be able to self regulate enough to put that all aside to say hello to you. And as they are children they don't understand the social norm that goes along with that. I have particular issue with forcing children to engage with adults they don't want to engage with whether it be hugs/kisses/ saying hello etc. They're allowed to have bad days and have their personal comfort respected too.

I was raised, when an adult was speaking to me, that I answer them. If I'd have tried to ignore someone my Mother would have made me reply and would have embarrassed me.

This isn't any better either. In fact, I think it's worse. There's a middle ground somewhere.

You sound like a nightmare

@SueVineer please elaborate?

The kids aren't the rude person here.......

they don’t have to stop and chat, but a smile as yuu go past is basic manners. They’ll struggle to hold down friendships (and jobs) as adults if they just decide they can’t be bothered to say hello some days.

Do you think women should smile more too at anyone who smiles at them or tells them to do so or is it just children?

I doubt they won't (learn to) know the difference between random people and co-workers or friends.

I know, the parents have a lot to answer for!

Some children are shy and there's nothing wrong with that, especially at 6 years old.

Some people are more intimidating in the way they come across which can make shy children and adults less likely to converse with them.