Children Who Ignore Adults?

[JoJoBoZoe]

When did this become a thing and since when do parents allow this rude behaviour?

Whenever I'm on the school run or at parties and I meet with parents, I aways greet them and say hello and also hello to their child.

The amount of children that don't reply and ignore me and the parents say nothing is ridiculous! They just say " she's in a mood or she's tired "

I was raised, when an adult was speaking to me, that I answer them. If I'd have tried to ignore someone my Mother would have made me reply and would have embarrassed me.

Have all basic manners gone out of the window?

I know a few neurodiverse kids who won't talk to adults they don't really know. And this doesn't make them rude and it is no reflection on their parents.

Ohhhhh I was wondering. I get ya.

I bet there are quite a few adults on the school run who would happily ignore the OP too!

This thread is getting nasty(ier), isn't it?

My DD will look you dead in the eye and not say a word or even make any sort of facial expressions to acknowledge you.

I am the absolute opposite and will over talk to make up for it.

I’m sure many people think she’s rude and for years I just thought she was very shy (which she is) but she’s autistic and I guess she’s either processing what you’re saying or shutting down.

I know autistic children who can take up to 10 minutes to process what you say and they’re literally just staring at you the entire time.

Now I have educated myself I do not expect any child to answer me and I will always model good behaviour and say hello but I don’t expect an answer.

I have one of these. Ironically, most adults involved in her life praise her for how kind,lovely and polite she is. Various staff from her school from the head, to the TA's to kitchen staff. Parents of her friends, who also invite her over and over again for playdates and sleepover because she's so easy going and nice . She's also pretty independent and doesn't need much since she'd rather avoid talking if she can.

Most times she'll definitely smile at least, half the time she will say hi back. It's just slightly delayed, but if an adult decides to make a big song and dance about it odds are she'll just shut down. Same if I made a big fuss and demanded she obeyed. She hates any kind of attention.

Sure , you can write her off and think she's rude and entitled and I'm a shit parent, but that's your loss really.

It is annoying and rude. Parents should encourage their kids to be sociable from a young age and set a good example by being friendly and chatty themselves. Nobody wants their kids to turn into those teenagers that can't look you in the eye and mumble

I’m starting to see why people ignore you.

Posted too soon! Even Kevin and Perry can manage a "thank you, Mrs Patterson"!

I think OP’s just taking some time to try and think of a reply to redeem herself after insulting the appearance of 3 children under 5 years old… because I dared to disagree with her. 😂🫠

I think if you explained that all that was expected of her was a quick ‘hello’ it might take some of her anxiety away. I was shy and so was my DD, I explained to my DD that she should say ‘hello’ because it can seem rude not to and her confidence grew rather than evaporated. It can be very good for children to overcome social anxiety while they’re still young enough to have their parents by their side.

Are manners a useful skill to learn?

My dd is autistic and talking is so painful for her. Maybe think about that instead of assuming these children are rude.

@StarShapedWindow I do address it, we talk about it after why she felt shy etc, how we know x and they’re very nice yada yada… I just won’t force her to say hello or punish her for not saying hello.

DD has selective mutism. It's not my parenting

It's not really about manners. These kids lack conversation skills due to lack of practice. It comes across as rude but it's worse than that, they lack social skills.

I suppose parents speak less to their children, they put the screen on instead, I see so many babies in prams watching videos while mum is shopping so there is little verbal and interpersonal interaction.

At state school teacher do not engage all 30 in the class in daily conversations to build these skills, this just does not happen. At prep, they actively foster the art of conversation, public speaking, effective communication and social engagements. SO you get much more confident kids who can hold a very articulate, fun and interesting conversation. There is a huge difference.

@MogsImagination you get all that from a child not saying hello back do you? Seems a bit presumptuous.

@3AndStopping I agree, I’d never punish a child for being shy either. They all get there in their own time 🙂

Crikey this turned sour fast 🙀

"At prep, they actively foster the art of conversation, public speaking, effective communication and social engagements. SO you get much more confident kids who can hold a very articulate, fun and interesting conversation. There is a huge difference."

I have come across a fair few private school bores over the years. Posh articulate voice but the conversation is meaningless.

I agree about the state schools crowd controlling children and also the impact of COVID. My children are both very quiet and as we are a quiet family without extended family around, their opportunities to converse with other adults are largely restricted to teachers or people in positions of authority. My son is neurodiverse and very reserved. My daughter (6) will chat to older engaging adults, particularly the elderly when they go out of their way to make her feel comfortable. I think that it's wrong to assume that quieter children are rude and that they will struggle or be socially anxious in the real world. The world functions well due to the introverts who are better listeners and very focussed. I would never assume that a child was being rude. I would, however, try to engage them. They're not performing seals. They're hemmed up in classrooms all day and come out of school exhausted and distracted with their minds on other things. This is a very judgemental thread!

Where did you read that?

I no longer think you're in any position to lecture others (or their children) about manners.

The best way to teach children is by example and this is not it!

I will add that many adults haven't got the foggiest how to speak with children or young people and engage them. They also lack social skills. The problem when adits don't engage children, these kids don't get a chance to learn these skills, it's all about practice.