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Original poster

How often do your kids have sleepovers with grandparents?

214 replies

IsItJustMeOrWhatEh · 14/04/2023 15:47

Hi - I appreciate this is a bit of a "how long is a piece of string" question, but still interested in responses.

I have two children - 6 and 4.

The eldest has had a few (five or six maybe?) sleepovers with paternal grandparents, starting when I was pregnant with our youngest (so when he was about 2.5).

Youngest has never had a sleepover.

My parents have never had, or shown any interest in having, a sleepover, with either child.

My husband's dad is now, very sadly, a widower - since MIL passed away he has had eldest for a couple of sleepovers (at his suggestion), but doesn't want to have youngest for sleepovers. We let the eldest go without her when she was too young to understand, but now she's four it doesn't really seem fair if she's not going to get the opportunity to go. She loves her grandad and will be very sad.

I seem to be surrounded by people who have grandparents literally ripping their arms off to have grandchildren for sleepovers, often for multiple nights... so I really just wondered what the norm was - as amongst our friendship group/parents we know... we feel rather like the odd ones out. One of my mum friends has come back from her third mini-break this year, while her kids were with her dad's parents... and I must admit this has got me thinking about it today (and being honest feeling a little bit jealous!).

When I was a kid I have lots of happy memories of sleeping over at my paternal grandparents house a LOT, which might be colouring my view. I didn't really have any preconceived ideas that my kids would spend nights on end at sleepovers (and nor would I really want them to), but I suppose I did hope for maybe a couple a year or something.

It's my husband's 40th this year, and mine next year, and I'd hoped maybe for a child-free night (or maybe even two) away but I can see that is unlikely to be able to become a reality. And now I am feeling a bit bummed.

Anyway, I'm really just interested to know what other people's situations are? I'm sure we're not the only parents in this position, but within our social circle we certainly are!

OP posts:
BritInAus · 14/04/2023 15:50

Never - we don't live in the same country. Very envious of those with local, involved, retired, healthy parents.

Screwedupworld · 14/04/2023 15:50

Never. We live 10 mins away. Will help with childcare but not sleepovers

Original poster
IsItJustMeOrWhatEh · 14/04/2023 15:51

BritInAus · 14/04/2023 15:50

Never - we don't live in the same country. Very envious of those with local, involved, retired, healthy parents.

Ah, I'm really sorry. That must be hard.

OP posts:

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Families
DuesExMachina · 14/04/2023 15:51

Never.

Their house is not childproof and I don't trust my DS not to get up and fiddle with stuff. They wouldn't hear him with hearing aids out either.

Chewbecca · 14/04/2023 15:51

Ask them!

DuesExMachina · 14/04/2023 15:52

But they do have him loads during the day, which is brilliant

OhMyCherriePie · 14/04/2023 15:52

Never, to quote my mum “you chose to have them” she lives 10 mins away but has never had them overnight

shieldmaiden7 · 14/04/2023 15:53

My parents. Once or twice a year.
Exdh parents. Never.

DH's parents. Doesn't have the room but currently looking for bigger accommodation.

I never stayed at my grandparents houses.

kezzielea · 14/04/2023 15:53

Never, kids are 5 and 7. To be honest, they would probably be keen but haven't mentioned it to me and my two still aren't the best sleepers so don't really want to inflict that on them yet!

Nimbostratus100 · 14/04/2023 15:54

once, in their entire childhood- as an emergency when I was admitted to hospital. I don't think it is a reasonable expectation on grandparents, unless in an emergency

Steakandquinoa · 14/04/2023 15:54

Once, my children are in their twenties now.

Theelephantinthecastle · 14/04/2023 15:55

Never.

ILs are overseas and do offer when they are here but it's tricky as they don't know the kids that well

My parents have never seriously offered and are too casual about my son's allergies for me to feel comfortable.

I do find it quite frustrating when I see people posting about how hard it is that their parents keep pestering them to have the kids... Or people who whinge about the help they do get - my SIL was upset that her mother only wants to have her kids (4 and not sleeping through the night 2 year old) for a week...

Highworth · 14/04/2023 15:56

Never and my children are adults now. I think we had babysitting about six times for a couple of hours in the evening.

drpet49 · 14/04/2023 15:57

Never done so

GoldenGorilla · 14/04/2023 15:58

Never. My parents are lovely and would help out in an emergency, but they don’t want to look after my kids. They live 15 mins away, we see them often, but they don’t do more than keep an eye on the kids while I cook or something.

mummabubs · 14/04/2023 16:00

Never without us being there too, ours are 6 and 2. Wouldn't be able to trust/ depend on one side and the others live 3 hours away. But our kids still have a close relationship with them all x

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 14/04/2023 16:04

Grandma here. I have my older grandson (4) for sleepovers every two months or so. I can't have both boys, the younger one is 17 months, as he would have to share with his big brother and it just wouldn't work. He's still up in the night etc. But when dgs2 is older, I look forward to having him too. I'm on my own though, and I find the sleepover tiring as I worry I won't hear dgs1 if he wakes in the night, so I don't sleep well.

letsgotothebeachyay · 14/04/2023 16:05

My mum has the kids over on a regular basis - she enjoys their company (only one at a time though). My MIL has absolutely no interest in the kids, one reason for this is she can't stand the sight of me. Her loss

Strawberry0909 · 14/04/2023 16:05

My parents have DS1 (4years) to sleep once a month for the past year, DS2 is only 1 and a shocking sleeper so not had him yet

FIL hasn't had either to sleep yet, wants to when they both older(and actually sleep!)

Nousernamesleftatall · 14/04/2023 16:06

Never. Probably would if asked but we have never asked.

ilovemydog123 · 14/04/2023 16:07

My parents never had mine at all never offered
Now I'm a grandmother with 2 grandchildren I love having them for the day and sleeping over but only one at a time as only one room
My mother who never bothered with her own grandchildren now excepts to see her great grandchildren on days I have them
She gets very jealous when I see them and had many arguments over it
I love seeing my grandkids

Rifalo · 14/04/2023 16:08

Never. My eldest is now 17

Ihatecoding · 14/04/2023 16:08

Never in a decade

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 14/04/2023 16:09

My parents had dd once. My dc are both in secondary school. The ILs? Never.

anon90210 · 14/04/2023 16:12

Still waiting for them to offer, ds is 11.

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