Autistic women assemble!

[Nepmarthiturn]

...only if and when you're not feeling antisocial and want the entire world to +%$¥ off, or course. 😉😆

A few of us were talking on another thread and thought it would be nice to have a support/ chat thread on here to share interests/ challenges/ parenting issues or whatever we feel like. A little community of autistic women on here that we can dip in and out of but will be supportive and friendly and people who actually get it.

Might also be a nice counterbalance to all of the horrific posts about autism that we find here so regularly!!

P.S. Have deliberately posted this in chat rather than in the ND Mumsnetters topic because it will hopefully reach more people who would like to join in. I didn't even realise that section existed for a long time and often miss threads there as they don't show in active and expect I'm not alone in that. However, in posting this here, we will be relying on the people with obnoxious and ignorant views about autism who so regularly post on Mumsnet, to demonstrate to us their allegedly superior empathy (ha!) and please just leave this thread alone: it's not for you. Many thanks!!

Heh

Anyway. Am enjoying all the photos people are posting, especially the animals.

Really sorry for thread derail OP but @JarByTheDoor was a fabulous MN + IRL support when I was diagnosed (she was first non family I told). I bet her a burger that I wouldn’t get a diagnosis and she won.

My victory was delicious. And inevitable 😝

Ha! What a brilliant story, and reunion! 🍔

It must be! I wish I had the skills. Clothes are so annoying, it's so hard to find stuff that is right.

@Nepmarthiturn - just popping on to say thank you for starting the thread. Your wording was fine in the OP. It’s not down to you how others react to it.

I really am not very good at keeping up with threads and responding individually to all the posts I like, etc. I tend to feel a bit overwhelmed and it becomes all or nothing!

Am loving all the beach and animal photos. And am impressed with the poster who makes clothes, I can’t sew for toffee (I might be able to manage handkerchiefs if it was a life or death situation 🤣)

My little update is that I got the first lawn cut of the year done - it’s been bugging me for ages, so that’s one thing finally ticked off the list. The lawn is quite bumpy. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, the lines are never straight and it always looks like I’ve been on the wine beforehand.

And, just to join in with the beach fun, a few from a beach not too far from me. I don’t get there often enough and am going to make more of an effort this year.

It has stripes 😍 Very classy.

It looks straight to me @Furries

Thanks @Furries . I think the comments I made in the OP were more than justified. You and some others here were on the thread that gave me the idea for this one and that a place for solidarity and understanding would be good. The comments made to that OP - who was so polite and lovely - simply for being autistic were disgusting. It is rather funny the people on those ongoing anti-autism threads took such objection to my wording here and assumed it was aimed to them (perhaps they are capable of some emotion after all, even if it's only guilt! 🤣) when it was actually a general comment about the many threads we see across Mumsnet almost daily. What I said clearly resonated with the experience of many autistic women who read it and are now here. I believe it needed to be said, so that people felt comfortable to post here without the usual harassment we get.

I was also amused by the demonstration of an inability to reason logically, in the accusation that I am a hypocrite. That poster didn't seem to manage to grasp that for that to be the case this thread would instead have needed to be titled "support thread for ND people in relationships with NTs" and to be composed of rants about how I have an NT partner who is illogical, lazy, selfish, needy, lacking in empathy and focus, how much they blether on and on and on wanting to repeat the same conversations over and over again when people need quiet, how they ignore and ride roughshod over anyone's needs that are different to their own, are incapable of a rational conversation, insist others spend all free time in environments of sensory hell just to please them and fit in with their preferences, seem to lack any independence to develop their own interests, and don't seem to be capable of any meaningful self-reflection. 🤣 and then made sweeping generalisations that all NT people must therefore be the same as this. If I'd started a thread like that, then gone off and posted on their threads about autistic people as well instead of minding my own business, then I'd be a hypocrite. 😆😆 The false equivalence was bizarre, given this is a thread for autistic women to connect and support each other. It's not remotely comparable to one set up specifically to complain about partners and reinforce stereotypes by attributing their shortcomings to a disability.

But hey ho. You're right, we can't choose how other people behave so ignoring them is for the best, despite the goady comments.

Your lawn looks great!! You have a really beautiful garden. I am determined to get outside and get some things done here tomorrow before we go away to see family. Hoping I can persuade kids to "help". 😆🫣 Failing that I am giving them their Easter eggs from me in the morning so that should buy me some peace... until the sugar rush kicks in!

I absolutely love your beach photos! ☀️🌊

So jealous of people who live near the sea. It's not too far from here, only half an hour, but would be so nice to be able to escape to a beach and clear my head whenever I wanted.

Not feeling too talky at the moment but just want to say hi, thank you for starting this thread and mark my place as an autistic woman!

From me and my ginger baby, Flynn.

Hello fellow Autustic women

Easter is a challenge so far

My house is too noisy as returning Uni DCs and other family staying (them just for a week) over Easter. Usually is just me and youngest DC & adult DCs popping home or calling but one at a time.

I want to cook in peace or not cook at all for 9

I'm not wearing my hearing aids at home, am "going" very early to bed or hiding out somewhere quiet in the garden whilst people look for me.

My adult DS with autism and adhd is wearing his ear defenders at the dining table but no one is "hearing him" or me. I can't even sit at table & "eat later as I'm not hungry"

He lets me sit hide in his bedroom with him (as long as I don't breathe loudly)

People are moving things around in my house and in my kitchen and not leaving it clean !! I'm getting up in middle of night to clean it again Everything is wrong in the wrong place the wrong way up and ...

My work friend "told me off" yesterday as I was being pedantic. ("Errr yes? And your point is...?")

I don't need advice as it is what it is, but this is such a well timed thread for me and I feel a bit better this morning reading it

@TwoThousandZeroZeroPartyOverOopsFoundMoreTime so much sympathy from me!! House guests are so hard, the invasion of your space and the mess and nowhere to escape to, even if you love them dearly! Especially if your need for quiet breaks from it all is not recognised. I can usually manage two days max before I crumble. Sending you headphones and wine! 🎧 🍷

Hello! And hello lovely Flynn! 🐱🥰

Hi all- I hope you all have a nice weekend that isn't too peopley. I've come to Poland with my daughter and her routines are driving me nuts. She's incredibly anxious too and it's really getting me down. Travelling is a special interest of mine.

I hope she settles down @surlycurly so you can enjoy it. How long are you there for?

I hope you all have a lovely bank holiday weekend and you get time to relax and spend time with good people.

We're going away for our Easter break somewhere green and spacious , the weather is looking good for it.

Now they are posting shit about how autistic people have "no insight into our behaviour" (the irony), are self-centred (yet they thought nothing of invading this space and making people feel uncomfortable when they'd been asked specifically to keep away), have a "victim mentality" (clearly never looked in a mirror) and that we're incapable of functioning without "hand-holding from partners" and can't hold down a job and look after our children (ummmm... I'm a single mum with a full time job and probably out-earn 95% of them).

I really need to stop looking. The level of ignorance is just astounding. This kind of discriminatory, abelist generalising makes me SO furious. I am going to hide that thread now. It's vile.

That sounds lovely! You too!

I am in chaos atm trying to pack but quite looking forward to getting away. Just hope my family do let me have a little bit of quiet time at intervals during the weekend (they are spectacularly bad at this sometimes even when I tell them I need it 😬).

I've actually got some time to myself for a few hours today, for the first time in a couple of weeks. So much needed, I was starting to feel a bit emotional! Especially as the week before last all my usual routines suddenly went out of the window - the complete lack of alone time was in no way planned, and then Easter holidays started. Everything has been increasingly too loud, too bright, too much, but I've had absolutely no opportunity to get away, even for a short while, to sort myself out!

So, I've done the housework I wanted to do and I'm treating myself to a proper day off. I've just settled down with a true crime documentary, might pick up an instrument for a while or do a bit of one of my courses later, then I've got my partner here this evening, just the two of us. I haven't even done anything with the day yet, but just knowing I've got this time is such a relief!

@Nepmarthiturn Just report and block. They're not worth listening to.

Block? That was meant to be hide!

Yes, I hid it. Not worth engaging with. Such a miserable, bitter, spiteful bunch of people.

This sounds fantastic! To give yourself the space to rest and recouperate. Hope you have a fantastic, lazy day! 😊

I'm off work for a week and chilling with my feet up and knitting.

Dp and I are going to do the garden this weekend and my eldest is visiting next weekend.