We want our evenings back

[IvanaB]

Does anyone have any tips on how to get a toddler to go to sleep alone?

My DS is 31 months. Since birth he was rocked to sleep. When he became too big to be rocked he had to be bounced (we had to be standing, not sitting). Our backs were breaking as he's a big boy.

He's now 31 months and moved from his cot to a single bed a couple of months ago. Since then, he can fall asleep in his bed but either DH or I have to be sitting beside his bed singing to him. We wouldn't have an issue with this if it didn't take, on average, 1.5 - 2hrs for him to fall asleep. Some nights it can take longer. He's in bed for 7.30/8 but often doesn't go to sleep until 9/9.30pm by which time, we are shattered and good for nothing.

He still gets up during the night too and needs us to repeat the process (thankfully it usually doesn't take anywhere near as long). We're just lucky that our 10 month old sleeps fairly well.

I'd love to be able to tuck him into bed, read him a story, sing him a lullaby and then leave him to drift off.

He's 2 and a half 🙄

Let him stay downstairs in play pen til he falls asleep
He doesnt need you to do those things
You choose to, to avoid what? A tantrum?

I'd love to be able to tuck him into bed, read him a story, sing him a lullaby and then leave him to drift off.

Do that. With your two year old! Not 31 months. Unless you plan to call him your 144 month old at 12.

31 months 😂

I'm 612 months 😀

Lots of fresh air and exercise made my ds fall to sleep much easier. I stopped using the buggy at about 2.5 and he walked everywhere. It made a huge difference.

Just do it ... he's old enough to understand... be firm. 31 months . You've really been indulging him.

Camomile tea is safe for toddlers and has is natural method of soothing a fretful child.

We had this with ours. One day I said I’m not doing this any longer. I put them to bed at 7pm and left them in bed alone. They went to sleep. No singing, not hand holding. Just a kiss good night and out the door. I think it was the shock that worked the first night, then it quickly became a routine.

I’m assuming he no longer naps? Does he get enough exercise - many young kids are like dogs, they need lots of walking!

You need to just put him to bed however you want to do it going forward and stick it out

He's a toddler , almost pre-schooler , not a baby so stop referring to him in months.
He's not that short of 3!

It sounds like you've been pandering to him.
I'm not the best person to ask as I'm an aged hag and someone, I feel sure, will come along and give you better advice.
However, you really need to take charge here.
He is ruling you but you are in charge.
You need to start giving him 'warnings' which sounds harsh but it will create boundaries.
Eg. You read a story then kiss goodnight. If he protests then repeat 'goodnight.'
If he gets up then take him back to bed quietly.
If he gets up and protests, just lead him back to bed.
And just keep repeating.

It will take a while and some protesting but continue.
He will eventually realise that you are in charge and there are no more benefits.

My DS went through a similar phase when he was about the same age. We just let him stay downstairs with us and potter around with his toys. Much less stress and he went to bed a lot quicker at 9pm or whatever. He soon settled back into an 7.30pm bedtime especially once he totally dispensed with a nap.

Thinking back what I used to do was have a quiet wind down before bedtime, nothing to over stimulate and then a routine of a bath and then story in bed. All low key and quiet.

Why the arsey replies? The op has asked for help.
Op, there are various ways you could try to tackle this. Moving gradually further away from the bed, rapid return, music on low instead of singing. It won't be an overnight fix but choose a method that suits you and your parenting style and just be consistent. Good luck! 🙂

Oh and blackout curtains.

Mine are 10 and 12 and have never gone to bed alone. They are always up and down stairs.

How about get a Yoto - make it a big thing - big boy with your new Yoto - mummy doesn’t stay anymore, you listen to your Yoto. And hold firm!!!

👏

Our routine was bath teeth story goodnight cuddle bed alone

From birth, so we just continued it in toddler stages

You need to pick a routine and and stick with, no offence but you created it so I am only saying you to be firm and fix it

31 months?

I'd probably try to start gradually e.g few days of sitting there but not singing, then a few days of sitting in the doorway, then maybe sitting in the doorway but for less time.

I remember doing something like this with Dd1 (she's now 11 so was a long time ago) and I used to sit there with a book so I wasn't paying attention to her (unless necessary) and I also was doing something I could enjoy so I felt less resentful of being stuck there through the process.

I know someone who’s had this same issue with her kids and has stayed with them, rocked them, stroked them, read to them until they sleep and now they’re 7 and 4 and they still continue to play up and fight sleep for the attention and because they can. You must set routine and boundaries or you’re in for a rough ride.

And a week!

I'd love to be able to tuck him into bed, read him a story, sing him a lullaby and then leave him to drift off.

What does he do when you try this? Cry? Scream? Get out of bed?