No sandwich in daughter's lunchbox

[Banana7]

We sent DD age 3 to nursery with no sandwich in her lunchbox.
Stupid miscommunication between DH who does drop offs and myself.
I actually called during my lunch break to check if she had eaten her lunch as we suspect she doesn't eat much at all when she has school dinners. We thought packed lunches would help.
I had one of the managers on the phone :she has been very short with us in the past when we tried to raise what we thought were valid concerns about some issues regarding DD and the nursery.
The manager said that she had eaten all her lunch, thanks, bye now.
When I picked my daughter up tonight, she told me she had no sandwich in her lunchbox.
I realised her dad had sent her off without a sandwich.
Since then, I've been thinking about how no one at the nursery was concerned a child's lunch consisted of cucumber, grapes, 2 frubes and 2 baby biscuits...
If it had been me, and I'm a teacher (primary) I'd have rung the parents to check that's all they had given their child, and to offer to give the child a sandwich from school.
Am I being unreasonable thinking that's far from good practice?

I think you need to direct your annoyance at you and your husband. I don't see how you can make a lunch and forget to pack a sandwich! Be more careful next time.

Personally, YABU. whilst I'm sure a sandwich would've been more filling, if your child ate all the rest I dont think that's a small lunch for a 3 year old and therefore I wouldn't have rang you? im not a childminder or nursery nurse tho just a regular mum

My 3 year old would barely eat a thing so if shed had 2 frubes, 2 biscuits and some fruit and veg Id have felt like I was winning at life.

Yes, the nursery aren't in the wrong here!
You asked if she had eaten her lunch. Manager answered correctly.
Also can't believe you ring the nursery to ask if your daughter has eaten her lunch! Imagine if all the parents of the children you teach did that, and you wonder why she was short with you!

It's also hilarious that you are complaining about their actions being 'far from good practice'. I suppose you would agree that they should pull you up on 'your far from good parenting'.

2 frubes?

And biscuits?
And grapes?

Yeah, this is on you and your husband I’m afraid

You call the nursery to check she's eaten her lunch? Imagine if every child in your class had their parent calling you up to check they'd eaten their lunch?

Get a grip.

YABU

Honestly I think it’s ridiculous to ring to see if your child ate! Then embarrassed I had not sent in the right lunch.

2 Frubes😅

I mean…if it was a regular thing, sure as a one off, I don’t think I’d expect a call for this. Presumably she ate the rest of her lunch, not particularly ideal but certainly enough to tide a 3 year old over for a bit.

If I was the nursery, I would be surprised that you called.

I might be surprised there was no "main bjt" but I wouldn't question it or call their parents at work and expect them to bring a sandwich- id just give them some more food if I felt it wasn't enough and talk to them in pick up.

It's just a mistake no harm done.

If I was parent I'd be surprised to receive as call as I wouldn't expect the teacher / nursery to have time to chase up and I'd also expect them to (Hope they might) provide them with something if they felt their wasn't enough. I wouldn't be able to go to the setting to deliver a sandwich.

Why did she have two frubes and two biscuits?

Wow, I wasn't expecting so much agressivity! I know we were idiots here, I fully admit it.
However, my concern as a teacher would be that the child doesn't seem to have a proper lunch and to at least check with the parents.
I don't call the nursery every day, that's probably the first time in 6 months actually. It's perfectly acceptable to ask the nursery if my child has eaten her lunch :we don't see any keyworkers when we pick our DD in the evening (it turns into an after school club after 3.20 pm), and never know if she's eaten, or what's she's been up to. I should know if my child eats at lunchtime when she's only 3, because I can then address the issue if that's not the case. She has very long days at nursery and should have enough food to keep her going. She's a very picky eater and we're concerned about her weight which is low for her age.

It sounds like the nursery do provide food but you choose to provide packed lunches instead. So I would be surprised if the contents of the lunchbox were all she ate. She probably ate some of the other snacks / sandwiches that the other kids were eating.

They probably thought she had wolfed the sandwich. I wouldn't worry about it - one day with a partial lunch won't harm her.

Tiny frubes, and tiny baby biscuits (not the full sugar variety) because she'll eat them. That's not even 100 calories altogether. What's the problem with that? Maybe if my child was overweight, I wouldn't but we've got the opposite problem.

As her parent you are responsible for making sure she has lunch.
You can put the guilt trip on the nursery workers if that makes you feel better but you are the one that cocked up.

It’s not the fat, it’s just that plus grapes is a lot of sugar in one go.

That’s a lot of sugar.

You’re misdirecting your annoyance and I’m sure you know that really as a teacher. Move on, it’s not worth this amount of thinking about.

FGS They are busy helping kids get their lunch out, serving hot food etc. Unless your dd piped up to say 'I don't have my sandwich', they are unlikely to notice unless it was a regular occurrence. Ringing to ask what she ate is also ridiculous. If she is underweight, address it at home. If she hadn't eaten it all, what would you have done differently? You presumably would have still offered plenty of food when she got home as she is a picky eater and underweight. You are transferring your concern and presumably embarrassment at not sending a sandwich onto the nursery. Read any book about picky eaters and the advice is generally to keep offering food and be calm about uneaten meals. If your dd is so dangerously underweight that a missed sandwich requires a specific reaction, then you should be on some kind of medical intervention.

Frubes and biscuits???

A lot of sugar on top of a balanced diet is useful if your child is underweight (you do have to guard their teeth). It's pretty much what pediatric dieticians prescribe.

She's a very picky eater and we're concerned about her weight which is low for her age

Even if she didn't eat all of the lunch the nursery provided, she might get more calories than in a sandwich, grapes and a couple of baby biscuits, especially if she sees the other children eating their dinners.

One of mine was a picky eater at that age, in fact she would quite happily go without anything so we had to be careful she got enough food, which took some persuasion. Eating with others seemed to encourage her to tuck in.

There's no reason to blame the nursery for your DH's forgetfulness. It was a one-off.

I think this is one of those things that you wouldn't think twice about if you were comfortable with the nursery generally. As a teacher are you 100% sure you see the entire contents of every child's lunchbox every day? I would put it down to them assuming she'd just eaten it quickly.

But... you clearly have other concerns. I think you should trust your instincts with those. That's all we can do with childcare really. I would expect a good nursery to listen to my concerns, maybe have a meeting, not dismiss me. It's a huge thing to trust them with your 3 year old.