No sandwich in daughter's lunchbox

[Banana7]

We sent DD age 3 to nursery with no sandwich in her lunchbox.
Stupid miscommunication between DH who does drop offs and myself.
I actually called during my lunch break to check if she had eaten her lunch as we suspect she doesn't eat much at all when she has school dinners. We thought packed lunches would help.
I had one of the managers on the phone :she has been very short with us in the past when we tried to raise what we thought were valid concerns about some issues regarding DD and the nursery.
The manager said that she had eaten all her lunch, thanks, bye now.
When I picked my daughter up tonight, she told me she had no sandwich in her lunchbox.
I realised her dad had sent her off without a sandwich.
Since then, I've been thinking about how no one at the nursery was concerned a child's lunch consisted of cucumber, grapes, 2 frubes and 2 baby biscuits...
If it had been me, and I'm a teacher (primary) I'd have rung the parents to check that's all they had given their child, and to offer to give the child a sandwich from school.
Am I being unreasonable thinking that's far from good practice?

People aren't commenting on the 2x frubes and biscuits due to the calories. Small children need calories. It's the sugar (even if not listed as 'sugar' in the ingredients). Bad for teeth and, at this age, why programme your child to have a sweet tooth.

I once sent DC age 10 on a school trip with a ‘sandwich’ consisting of 2 slices of buttered bread as I had forgotten to put in a filling 🫤 They survived

anyone lecturing you about 2 frubes, baby biscuits etc clearly has never had the stress and anxiety of a child that just WONT eat. One of my dc was/still is an absolute nightmare. wont eat wet food (anything in a sauce at all) wont eat "spicy" ie anything with taste or flavour. spent 5 years at senior school and had exactly the same lunch every single day. I have wasted years of my life on various strategies and thousands on thrown away food. in these situations, we gave our dc what they would eat. didnt matter if it was healthy or not just had to get some calories in them. and yes we tried the eat it or go without strategy and they starved themselves, lost weight, had no energy, etc and STILL wouldnt eat. make sure the school understand the fussy eating and give them what they will eat.

@mummymeister did you also call nursery out for not questioning what you’d sent your child? No? Didn’t think so.

@Gruffling Yes it is. I find it hard to believe that standards would be as low in the UK as many pp are claiming on this thread.

Aggressivity is in the Collins dictionary.

Definition of 'aggressivity'

aggressivity
in British English
(ˌæɡrɛˈsɪvɪtɪ IPA Pronunciation Guide )
NOUN
the state or quality of being aggressive

www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/aggressivity

You don’t like the nursery. Just move her.

@Banana7 - aggressivity? Not a word

I can’t believe people are saying that’s not a small lunch, of course it is!
I don’t think 2 frubes are bad at all and baby biscuits have less sugar in.
YANBU, at age 3 they should be monitoring her lunch and should have provided something extra: rang you.
Do they not write down what she’s ate? Or have an app? I wouldn’t be happy with the nursery

Yes it is. Not much used, but it exists.

Aggressivity? You're not a teacher 🙈

www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/aggressivity

It's a word..

Of course YABU.......

You thought packed lunches would help her eat more, then forgot to include a sandwich and so how are blaming the nursery for then not giving her food.

As others have said, if all the parents phoned to see if their child had eaten lunch, someone would have to take all of those calls, which takes a member of staff away from doing their actual job of looking after and interacting with the children.

As a teacher OP, I assume you've been in to the lunch hall and seen some of the dire lunchboxes that children bring in!

Some have more food in than I'd eat in a whole day and some have utter junk.

I've worked in EYFS, so children only slightly older than your child and we certainly don't go checking all the lunchboxes for sandwiches and certainly wouldn't be calling parents to ask where it was!!! Don't be daft.

If this is real then I would hazard a guess that there's more to this and you just don't like the nursery/teacher/manager.

Also, my school always tell the children to put empty wrappers etc back into their lunchboxes so that parents/carers can see what's been eaten. Does the nursery not do this too???

Surely its up to the parents to make their kids packed lunch if thats what they choose? I wouldnt expect anyone to call a parent because there was no sandwich in there when there were other things in there for her to eat. Not everyone eats sandwiches. This is you and your husbands responsibility. You dont sound like you have much goodwill towards the nursery if youre trying to say they are incompetent for not fixing your mistake.
Your kid ate what you gave her.
I think this is gonna be a loooong parenting journey for you

To actually say that “It’s nurseries fault for not checking and reminding you. Remembering to feed your kid is a difficult thing to master” is absolutely ludicrous.

The OP and her dh have one child, but you don’t think it is their responsibility, to ensure that they give her a “proper” packed lunch. The nursery will have lots of children to keep an eye on at lunchtime, but you think that they should go through every lunch box, checking what each child has to eat.

What do you suggest? That the children line up with their lunch boxes, and aren’t allowed to eat anything until the lunch box has been checked, and what’s inside it has been noted down? Then, if they don’t think it meets the standards, the staff have to go and get other food for the child. Then an hour and a half later after they have eaten, they have to line up again, so that the nursery staff can then check if they have eaten everything they were given?

I think most parents would be very unhappy if they knew nursery was checking whether they thought that their child’s packed lunch was suitable and enough for them!

Not an issue as a one off

I think the pp was being sarcastic

I think no harm done, she didn't complain she was hungry(I'm sure if she did, they would have given her something).
One day without a sandwich will not cause serious damage to her long term health.

Agreed!

This is mental. I mean seriously, she's 3. That's a perfectly normal lunch for a picky three year old. Might not be the healthiest, but show me a 3 year old who always eats a perfectly balance lunch and I'll show you a lying adult.

@Banana7 I get you're worried about your daughter, but I think you're focusing on things that you really don't need to here. It's not a big deal from either side. What are the other issues you have with nursery? Is it possible you're a bit highly strung? I genuinely don't mean that as an insult, sometimes it's difficult to look objectively at circumstances concerning our own children.

YABU people have ridiculously high expectations of these poor nursery workers who are probably working on minimum wage and supposed to notice every detail about their child doing their time. Your child has eaten some food that’s enough.

This

Take some bloody responsibility OP 🙄

I don't think the nursery is at fault here.
You and you husband made a mistake.
There has no real harm done here.
I think it is unusual to contact the nursery to check if your child has eaten.
Fussy eating can be related to parental anxiety or their fixation about their Childs eating. It can perpetuate the problem.