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Original poster

No sandwich in daughter's lunchbox

222 replies

Banana7 · 02/11/2022 21:50

We sent DD age 3 to nursery with no sandwich in her lunchbox.
Stupid miscommunication between DH who does drop offs and myself.
I actually called during my lunch break to check if she had eaten her lunch as we suspect she doesn't eat much at all when she has school dinners. We thought packed lunches would help.
I had one of the managers on the phone :she has been very short with us in the past when we tried to raise what we thought were valid concerns about some issues regarding DD and the nursery.
The manager said that she had eaten all her lunch, thanks, bye now.
When I picked my daughter up tonight, she told me she had no sandwich in her lunchbox.
I realised her dad had sent her off without a sandwich.
Since then, I've been thinking about how no one at the nursery was concerned a child's lunch consisted of cucumber, grapes, 2 frubes and 2 baby biscuits...
If it had been me, and I'm a teacher (primary) I'd have rung the parents to check that's all they had given their child, and to offer to give the child a sandwich from school.
Am I being unreasonable thinking that's far from good practice?

OP posts:
Greydogs123 · 02/11/2022 22:44

Preschool worker, here - As a one off I wouldn’t question that lunch. I would assume you had just not got much in at home at that time. If it was a pattern of measly lunches and the child was clearly hungry still after eating it, then it would be raised with the parents.
We see all sorts of lunches, some great some terrible and lots in between.

PinkButtercups · 02/11/2022 22:45

Surely you'd know from her lunch box if she has eaten her lunch? No?

Macaroni1924 · 02/11/2022 22:46

As a mother and a teacher I think the nursery are not in the wrong here. You provided a lunchbox and she ate it, how are they to know a sandwich should have been in there? It’s not uncommon for children to not have a sandwich. I’ve monitored the lunch hall at school and I cannot hand on heart say I have kept track of every child and made sure they have eaten, I have done my best. This was something I had to explain to my parents when they were angry my dd wasn’t always eating at school. How do I know if she has/hasn’t eaten? I check her lunchbox, as I’m sure you do, so no need for you to call them. I can see why that would be annoying for them. As someone else said previously imagine several of all the parents from your class called each day to find out who has eaten, been to the toilet, drank their water…
Im sure you must have experienced some sort of ridiculous call as a teacher and I’m sure your response would be along the lines of ‘I have 30 odd children how can I possibly make sure they all drink enough water’ or whatever it was. Same goes for the nursery, give them a break.

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Mariposista · 02/11/2022 22:52

Dollydea · 02/11/2022 21:59

You call the nursery to check she's eaten her lunch? Imagine if every child in your class had their parent calling you up to check they'd eaten their lunch?

Get a grip.

This ^

the staff have more important things to do than deal with fussy parents on the phone

Frankensteinisamonster · 02/11/2022 22:53

I don’t understand these responses. I agree with you fully op. It’s not you or your husbands fault you didn’t provide lunch for your kid. It’s nurseries fault for not checking and reminding you. Remembering to feed your kid is a difficult thing to master.

Confused
CatsTheWayToDoIt · 02/11/2022 22:53

I never put sandwiches in my kids lunches, they prefer chopped up veg and hummus, and for carbs they like cold noodles, pasta salad, etc. I’m sure I’m not alone, the nursery wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Not eating sandwiches for lunch is far from abnormal! What is weird is calling them to see if your child ate! They are incredibly busy, imagine if every parent did that.

whatdoyouthinkhonestly · 02/11/2022 23:01

Personally, I would expect them to have checked with parents re this. For some children a poor lunch can be a safeguarding/wider issue indicative of home life. Not always, but sometimes and worth checking on. Especially if all other children have decent lunches and she was having some yoghurt , biscuits and veg.

Also, maybe you need to do quality control. Someone makes the lunch and other parent double checks.

Or can you have her get the nursery lunch? Or go to one that provides it

Cats23 · 02/11/2022 23:04

Frankensteinisamonster · 02/11/2022 22:53

I don’t understand these responses. I agree with you fully op. It’s not you or your husbands fault you didn’t provide lunch for your kid. It’s nurseries fault for not checking and reminding you. Remembering to feed your kid is a difficult thing to master.

Confused

🤣

Pinkflipflop85 · 02/11/2022 23:04

Untitledsquatboulder · 02/11/2022 22:23

A lot of sugar on top of a balanced diet is useful if your child is underweight (you do have to guard their teeth). It's pretty much what pediatric dieticians prescribe.

Both of my children are under the care of paediatric dieticians. They certainly don't prescribe diets of extra sugar!

It's adding high fat foods that is recommended (e.g. an extra knob of proper butter stirred into their food)

Luredbyapomegranate · 02/11/2022 23:06

I mean, you forgot her sandwich.. if they’d thought about it, yes they might have wondered but if she didn’t say she was hungry i imagine they didn’t focus on it. If she’d said she was hungry I’m sure they’d have found something. If she’s old enough to tell you she didn’t get her sandwich, she’s old enough to say to them they needs more lunch.

It’s a non issue I think

ouch321 · 02/11/2022 23:07

whatdoyouthinkhonestly · 02/11/2022 23:01

Personally, I would expect them to have checked with parents re this. For some children a poor lunch can be a safeguarding/wider issue indicative of home life. Not always, but sometimes and worth checking on. Especially if all other children have decent lunches and she was having some yoghurt , biscuits and veg.

Also, maybe you need to do quality control. Someone makes the lunch and other parent double checks.

Or can you have her get the nursery lunch? Or go to one that provides it

So her sandwich is missing on one day and you think safeguarding?

This thread is too funny but not for good reasons...

GrazingSheep · 02/11/2022 23:09

Hopefully the grapes were cut up?

Luredbyapomegranate · 02/11/2022 23:09

Untitledsquatboulder · 02/11/2022 22:23

A lot of sugar on top of a balanced diet is useful if your child is underweight (you do have to guard their teeth). It's pretty much what pediatric dieticians prescribe.

They do not.

Strokethefurrywall · 02/11/2022 23:09

I reckon this thread is peak Mumsnet.

OP blaming a preschool because she and her husband forgot to pack a sandwich and they didn't notice, and every other poster shouting about "too much sugar" in her lunchbox!

"Won't somebody think of the children!" 😱😱😱

Shouldawouldacoulda30 · 02/11/2022 23:12

HNRTFT but I am surprised that the nursery didn’t clock that your child didn’t have a sandwich…Am guessing they are supervised over lunch time. How much do you pay for nursery ?

Shouldawouldacoulda30 · 02/11/2022 23:14

Also it is not the nursery concerns about the nutritional value …so all the critics should back off !

Jalepenojello · 02/11/2022 23:15

My 3 year old has a small appetite and that would be a reasonable lunch for him.. YABU.

quietnightmare · 02/11/2022 23:16

It's hard I'm sure for you to be a teacher and not switch off from teacher mode to parent mode. The nursery aren't in the wrong. Move on

MrsMo21 · 02/11/2022 23:19

As a teacher the kids In my classroom eat in with me so if a child had no sandwich I’d offer them fruit or something else I had to hand. I wouldn’t tell the parents if it was a one off because these things happen.
As a parent of a child with eating issues I get why you phoned and why you’d be a bit upset they didn’t say anything BUT with your teacher hat on I think you probably known deep down YBU to expect them to 1. entertain a trivial phone call 2. know exactly what your DD ate for lunch 3. have time to debate a sandwich during the school day.

OneFrenchEgg · 02/11/2022 23:20

Tiny frubes, and tiny baby biscuits (not the full sugar variety) because she'll eat them. That's not even 100 calories altogether.

Frubes only come in one size don't they? I know it's off topic but I need to know. Where can I find tiny ones?

Butwhybecause · 02/11/2022 23:20

GrazingSheep · 02/11/2022 23:09

Hopefully the grapes were cut up?

👍 Good point

BobbyBobbyBobby · 02/11/2022 23:21

Would you like to have a member of staff for each child to stand over them watching every morsel that they eat for lunch?

I think you’d find that the fees would considerably rise if so!

In reality they probably sit the little brats down and let them get on with their food and then have a quick look at the end to see that their lunch box or bag is empty:

badassbaby · 02/11/2022 23:22

Banana7 · 02/11/2022 21:50

We sent DD age 3 to nursery with no sandwich in her lunchbox.
Stupid miscommunication between DH who does drop offs and myself.
I actually called during my lunch break to check if she had eaten her lunch as we suspect she doesn't eat much at all when she has school dinners. We thought packed lunches would help.
I had one of the managers on the phone :she has been very short with us in the past when we tried to raise what we thought were valid concerns about some issues regarding DD and the nursery.
The manager said that she had eaten all her lunch, thanks, bye now.
When I picked my daughter up tonight, she told me she had no sandwich in her lunchbox.
I realised her dad had sent her off without a sandwich.
Since then, I've been thinking about how no one at the nursery was concerned a child's lunch consisted of cucumber, grapes, 2 frubes and 2 baby biscuits...
If it had been me, and I'm a teacher (primary) I'd have rung the parents to check that's all they had given their child, and to offer to give the child a sandwich from school.
Am I being unreasonable thinking that's far from good practice?

So you and your husband fucked up but you decide to blame the nursery?
Nice.

Livelovebehappy · 02/11/2022 23:23

I think it’s strange that this is the first time you say you have called to check on whether your dc had eaten their lunch, and I suspect that you already knew the sandwich had been missed when you called, and was calling to check if they had noticed so that you and your DH had an excuse to lay the blame elsewhere. All just seems a bit convenient……

wahwahwah2022 · 02/11/2022 23:24

My DS gets lunch provided by nursery which is ordered in advance. A few weeks ago, 10mins before we were due to leave for nursery, he decided he wanted a packed lunch. After much last minute panicking I threw something together, then apologised to his teachers for how rubbish it was. He still had a sandwich, albeit with cheese spread. With 3yr olds you have to be prepared for all eventualities 🤷🏻‍♀️

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