No sandwich in daughter's lunchbox

[Banana7]

We sent DD age 3 to nursery with no sandwich in her lunchbox.
Stupid miscommunication between DH who does drop offs and myself.
I actually called during my lunch break to check if she had eaten her lunch as we suspect she doesn't eat much at all when she has school dinners. We thought packed lunches would help.
I had one of the managers on the phone :she has been very short with us in the past when we tried to raise what we thought were valid concerns about some issues regarding DD and the nursery.
The manager said that she had eaten all her lunch, thanks, bye now.
When I picked my daughter up tonight, she told me she had no sandwich in her lunchbox.
I realised her dad had sent her off without a sandwich.
Since then, I've been thinking about how no one at the nursery was concerned a child's lunch consisted of cucumber, grapes, 2 frubes and 2 baby biscuits...
If it had been me, and I'm a teacher (primary) I'd have rung the parents to check that's all they had given their child, and to offer to give the child a sandwich from school.
Am I being unreasonable thinking that's far from good practice?

But how were the nursery meant to know there was supposed to be a sandwich? I don't always make sandwiches for my daughter's lunchbox...

This thread is comedy gold. Sorry.

I haven't read through all of the replies so apologies if this has already been answered but what would you have actually done if nursery had told you that your child hadn't eaten her lunch? I am just curious as to what ringing the nursery achieves. My DC brought uneaten food home (school policy) so I was able to monitor what they'd eaten.

Agressivity?? Oh my. I think calling to check if your dd has eaten lunch is OTT. Blame your husband, not the nursey.

Why do people have such a deferential attitude towards ‘authority’, in the context of health, education etc? Nurseries are providing a paid service to parents and children, not doing them a favour. If a parent has a concern about their small child’s eating, they have every right to make a quick call to enquire whether or not the child has eaten all their lunch, especially if there is no handover chat. We at least have a short form with concise details about food/drink, activities etc during the day, which goes home with the child, if we aren’t going to see the parent.

TWO frubes? TWO biscuits? AND??? GRAPES???? Someone call social services immediately!!

<wrings hands>

The nursery manager should have said "sorry we don't know what was in her lunchbox as we didn't look" That's the truth of it. Then offered to give her a sandwich.

But I am equally troubled by "agressivity" and hope it was just a symptom of a bad day! Not one of those teachers who "correct" children for missing the "e" off potato.

Quite!

As a one off, I wouldn't expect nursery to say anything, esp if they know she's a picky eater who rarely eats it all. If a parent constantly kept sending snacks in, then perhaps. Could they have assumed she'd eaten it before they noticed? I'm sure they're not inspecting every box?

@Banana7

it definitely is more than 100 calories!
quite a bit more

My DH reckons you’re a sandwich short of a picnic !

😂😂

People are so anti carb/sugar and are blind to the fact that young children have very, very different dietary needs to adults.

If you have an underweight child, carbs and sugar help increase appetite and increase the amount of calories they are taking in. Whole grain foods for example arent recommended as the fibre in it can be too much for young children as they fill them up too much.

Protein and fat keep people fuller for longer, digest more slowlu and actually reduce overall calorie intake. Its why adults dieting reduce carbs!

Don't know what kind of school you work at but not a single teacher I have worked with has ever had time to monitor the lunch consumption of every kid. Especially packed lunches, as presumably parents can be trusted to provide their child an ample lunch. Concerns would only really arise if child was not eating lunch or expressing hunger after eating, then I would raise issue with parents.

The fault lies with your husband, he didn't provide enough food. When it comes to the nursery, you asked a question and they answered correctly.

More concerning is that you are a teacher and think aggresivity is a word.

YABU. There is no need to ring nursery and check if she's eaten lunch. I usually get told at pick up what DD had for lunch and if/how much she'd eaten (she has a cooked lunch though).

Also not the fault of the nursery that she didn't have a sandwich. That's on you and DH. Be better organised. Do lunch the night before if needs be.

I did not understand the angst. It was one occasion, if she’s normally a big eater and will down a whole sandwich then not having it with me day will not hurt and it sounds as though she had plenty of other food.

I had one who ate nothing after breakfast until they got home from school. We dispensed with packed lunches pretty quickly as they just got binned daily. Cue meeting with school, which is fair enough as it may have been a child wanting food and not being given it. The compromise was we sent them with 1 piece of fruit. That came home every day and was put in the bin. Said child is now an adult, works and still doesn’t have lunch but will have lunch on weekends if at home.

My other kids got a piece of fruit for recess and a vegemite sandwich for lunch. I had another light eater and they took half a sandwich as only ever ate half and I couldn’t be arsed wasting the other half every day. Not one ever ate their crusts by the way 🤣. This was from lower primary right through to school leavers, so what you have described for a little 3yo is plenty. My kids were all extremely low on percentile chart for weight (some not even on the chart), but above average for height, but they had sensible healthcare professionals who recognised that some kids are just built that way yet fine and healthy. I did have one that due to birth defect issues was super small (think size 000 at 1yo) and they had a hospital feeding team but no way would they have expected all that is usually in your 3yo’s lunchbox. With that child it was all really small quantities but super nutrient dense, nothing like what you have described.

Aggressivity?

The word is aggression OP. But I am sure that as a teacher you knew that.

I am now freaking out that a supposed primary school teacher thinks 'agressivity' is a word 😱
FYI Banana7, the noun is 'aggression', the adjective is 'aggressive', the adverb is 'aggressively'.

I can appreciate what you are saying, but equally as many others have said, that lunch would’ve filled your child up perfectly well. It isn’t about whose fault it is, but it seems you might have concerns about your child and this nursery. I can understand that too, I took my child out of her nursery due to concerns I had. As a parent, we’re always taught to follow our instincts, and if you aren’t happy with her care at nursery, then perhaps you need to look at that and how that can change. I worked in a nursery and quite honestly as so many have said, as long as the child had food in their lunchbox and were eating it- there wouldn’t have been any cause for concern on the nurseries behalf.

You are at fault. The school noticed her empty box and informed you she had eaten her lunch.

If you saw some of the insaniac lunches parents send in...

Get a grip and direct your ire at your husband

If your child had complained of hunger at nursery, they would have sorted her out with something

One of my kids only take 1 piece of fruit and yogurt for lunch so no I wouldn't question the lunch. Of makes u feel better I sent youngest dc with empty lunchbox last week as forgot to take it out of his bag and make new lunch. I felt so stupid when school rang. Thank goodness for just eat delivering subways

You’re concerned about her weight yet send her for a full day at nursery with 2 frubes, 2 biscuits and some grapes? YABU.

I realised her dad had sent her off without a sandwich.

Am I being unreasonable thinking that's far from good practice?

Yes, sending your daughter off without a proper lunch is far from good practice.