Did she really just say this?! WTAF?!

[Takemebacktothenorth]

Hi,

I'm trying not to be outraged by this, but I just can't get my head around this womans comment!

Joined a friend app a few months a go and have actually been pleasantly surprised by it so far and have met some lovely women and made a few good friends, which was the aim, so am obviously happy.

However, I had been chatting to this woman for a few days and she sounded like an intelligent, interesting person, but when she asked what my husband did for a living and I corrected her and said "sorry, wife", she got really strange and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm really just looking for friends, which is why I'm on a friend app" 😶🤔🙄

Erm....what? 1, why would I try to find women on a friend app when there are plenty of dating apps? 2, why would I try and chat her up by telling her I had a wife?! So many whys here!!

It's absolutely ridiculous and bloody insulting! Does me having a wife mean I can't possibly have a platonic relationship with a woman?!

Just venting really.

🤣🤣🤣 she thought you were eyeing up her boobs and being subtle by pretending it was the t-shirt you were admiring ? She's named her vagina James?

WTF??

I have often sensed my gayness causes female friends to go strange, which is probably why most of my friends are male.

what's the app though please

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Nah - I think the problem was when the Op explained that her wife was a director of porn films and is auditioning for her latest movie and then commented that she bets that the camera just lurrrvvvveeesss her new pal…..

Wow, we have no idea what this woman thought and she's being torn to shreds!

My guess is she thought you were a man. It's up to you whether you can be arsed finding out what she meant of course OP.

But you know, not everyone knows any gay couples in their RL and it may not have occurred to her. Maybe now she's realised and feels silly. I don't think the woman needs to be burnt at the stake though - at most she is ignorant.

What's the app called?
How have you gone on to respond to your new wife?
What has been her subsequent response?
What's your actual real wife's job?

I'm invested

@IAmAWarrior @Amiable @canellini @Edgeog @TorviShieldMaiden @BEAM123 sounds like Bumble BFF to me.

It's a section on the bumble app (you don't need to do the dating bit and it prevents those on the dating bit from seeing the BFF profiles). Other than that, it works just like bumble. Make a profile and if you both swipe right then either of you had 24hrs to message. Come join us, I've made some great friends through it!

OP has explained how this woman knows she's a woman and not a man due to her profile picture

Torn to shreds? Burning at the stake?... over exaggeration

I hope you took her down a peg or 2 and put her in her place.

My guess is she thought you were a man. It's up to you whether you can be arsed finding out what she meant of course OP.
But you know, not everyone knows any gay couples in their RL and it may not have occurred to her.
So if you don’t already have gay friends then you aren’t aware gay people even exist? 😂
Also the OP’s already started it’s clear she’s a woman from her profile.

Wow, we have no idea what this woman thought and she's being torn to shreds!
Exactly. Fine example of cancel culture in action.

How very bizarre, was she being homophobic or just made a ridiculous mistake and is now kicking herself for her stupidity.
Reminds me of the time when my aunt was telling my mother at a family gathering that her daughter had just come out as a lesbian and my mother said loudly, "I really can't see the point in lesbians".
The silence in the room was deafening.

Agree with @JaneJeffer i think its a misunderstanding?

Ugh, I’ve had this before when a female friend realised I was bi around a year into our friendship. It’s not something I shout about but also not something I particularly hide, it just comes out when it comes out, like in your situation. Just ignore her. Life’s too short to waste on the self-obsessed.

I, too, want to know the name of this app though! Dying for more female friends (but not a girlfriend 😂)

I know there are dating sites but people don’t restrict themselves to those for chatting up and trying to get with others. I’ve been on language learning sites and some of the men have obviously just joined to find women.

I get that being weirded out by a gay person of the same sex by thinking they must be after you is homophobic but people are rightly cautious about strangers they meet online and might have developed a more direct way of communicating with them as they’ve been worn out by coming across creeps or people with hidden goals.

Truly ignorant of her.
Roughly how old is she?

If it were me I might think a man had put a pic of a woman on his profile to get on the site and get talking to women in the first place though - you know men are not adverse to pulling shit like this to get chatting on websites aimed at women?

Also these are just some of the comments made:

She is a heteronormative knobhead

Nasty, bigoted woman.

Homophobic dumbass

What a stupid woman! Good job she showed her bigot hand early so

I don't think I'm overreacting, no.

Op said herself she didn't get "dumbass" vibes and thought she seemed nice. Maybe she genuinely misunderstood. But hey-ho, carry on as you were..

I cannot believe you just posted that. Please get it deleted. You’re embarrassing yourself.

What?

I’ve come here as I literally am at my wits end with my husband and my step children and I don’t know what to do.
They are always well behaved and polite to me but the are so spoilt and over indulged by my husband they can do no wrong. They are big and girl almost 18 and 16 and my daughter is 15. So the dynamic with them is sometimes a bit off. My husband is EXTREMELY defensive of them and his family in general which makes any discussion regarding bad behaviour tremendously difficult and will often result in tit for tat type arguments if I mention anything that they have done most recently when the eldest child was asked to remove tiktok videos he had made of my home from his public account and also TikTok’s made at my husbands customers home. I see this as a breach of privacy and trust . My husband of course says it’s nothing and I’m making a fuss over nothing.
I subsequently find out that he hasn’t removed the videos just blocked me from seeing them and they are still on social media.
my husband is now blaming social media ……..🤔
please help me navigate this

The excessive commitment that some posters on this thread are investing into straightsplaining this away is quite an eye opener.

I'm not the least bit embarrassed @HinchcliffeandMurgatroyd stop being so ridiculous.

@Spc161 you need to start your own thread in Relationships

We are apparently “cancelling” an anonymous woman on an anonymous app, that another anonymous woman has just related an anecdote about, anonymously, on this anonymous forum.

Or something. 🤷🏻‍♀️

As long as the homophobia is explained away by extreme mental gymnastics all will be well. 🙄

Oh sorry thanks
I’m new!!