Did she really just say this?! WTAF?!

[Takemebacktothenorth]

Hi,

I'm trying not to be outraged by this, but I just can't get my head around this womans comment!

Joined a friend app a few months a go and have actually been pleasantly surprised by it so far and have met some lovely women and made a few good friends, which was the aim, so am obviously happy.

However, I had been chatting to this woman for a few days and she sounded like an intelligent, interesting person, but when she asked what my husband did for a living and I corrected her and said "sorry, wife", she got really strange and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm really just looking for friends, which is why I'm on a friend app" 😶🤔🙄

Erm....what? 1, why would I try to find women on a friend app when there are plenty of dating apps? 2, why would I try and chat her up by telling her I had a wife?! So many whys here!!

It's absolutely ridiculous and bloody insulting! Does me having a wife mean I can't possibly have a platonic relationship with a woman?!

Just venting really.

😮 God save us all from having to be best mates with our spouses.

Was she joking?

What an odd woman! I'd definitely be replying to her too.

She's an idiotic woman.
This reminds me of when I told friends I was gay and their response was "do you fancy me??" 🙄🙄🙄

Sounds like typical homophobia of the 'backs against the wall' variety some straight men will say when there's a gay man in the vicinity ie they think they are going to be seduced/ come on to etc .

Sorry you experienced this OP I thought times had changed

Shes homophobic and thinks shes hot.

When straight men do the whole “well as long as you don’t fancy me” etc my standard reply is “oh don’t worry, I’m only into masculine men” their fragile egos can’t handle it. Get yourself a reply, feel confident using it on any occasions where you need to.

oh don’t worry, I’m only into masculine men”

I would love to see that.

Then what would she think op is on the app for?

This.

She thinks you called her your wife not that you have a wife.

I agree with JaneJeffer.

If you had said 'My wife is a librarian', she mightn't have responded the way she did.

'Sorry, wife' wasn't really clear.,

Though her response really does have the assumption behind it that lesbians are on the pull.

That would make her even stupider, wouldn’t it?

If someone who isn’t married to you, seemed to refer to you as their wife, you would think “hang on, I misunderstood that”, not just take it as a come on.

Sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet there!

Call her out on it and ask if she has a problem with you being gay.

I would suggest to get over it. She was just stating her boundaries. Plenty of men cruise and manipulate people on apps to try and get women - so might women interested in women. Equality an all that!

Either way it's just a clumsy interaction. If she's a nice person let it go - or scream 'phobic' at her, block her and be outraged.

@HinchcliffeandMurgatroyd people do it all the time on social media referring to their best friend as "the wife"

Wait are you sure she didn’t think you were calling her “wife?” 😂

But yeah she doesn’t sound like a catch. I’m glad you found out before meeting up with her!

I assume she thinks you're a cathfishing man.

'As I said, I have a wife so I'm not here to find dates... sorry you're so uneducated that you assume all gay women would fancy you'

Unless she thought you were calling her wife maybe??

OP has only been talking to this woman a few days.

Sounds as if she thought you were a male disguising yourself as female....

I’m bisexual, and yes people do just tend to assume if you aren’t straight, you just have no standards. If you are bisexual you don’t even care what sex people are, so why would you care about looks or personality?

OP has only been talking to this woman a few days.
Well then I'm sure she'll get over it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with anyone being cautious with a stranger they don't know on the internet and asserting something. If you're gay you're into women - she's just clumsily seeking reassurance that you're what you appear to be - someone looking for a friend. If you'd been a man the posters here would have been entirely sympathetic to her.