Did she really just say this?! WTAF?!

[Takemebacktothenorth]

Hi,

I'm trying not to be outraged by this, but I just can't get my head around this womans comment!

Joined a friend app a few months a go and have actually been pleasantly surprised by it so far and have met some lovely women and made a few good friends, which was the aim, so am obviously happy.

However, I had been chatting to this woman for a few days and she sounded like an intelligent, interesting person, but when she asked what my husband did for a living and I corrected her and said "sorry, wife", she got really strange and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm really just looking for friends, which is why I'm on a friend app" 😶🤔🙄

Erm....what? 1, why would I try to find women on a friend app when there are plenty of dating apps? 2, why would I try and chat her up by telling her I had a wife?! So many whys here!!

It's absolutely ridiculous and bloody insulting! Does me having a wife mean I can't possibly have a platonic relationship with a woman?!

Just venting really.

In response to being told OP was married... when men tell me they're married I don't immediately say 'well I do not want to date you'.

Because that's weird.

Exactly.

If they had both said they were gay, then I can understand a "ftr, I am just looking for friendship" conversation, same as a straight male and female both single and getting to know each other on a similar platform. But 1.she had clarified she was straight 2.op had clarified she was married. To take, despite those points, from some friendly conversation "gosh I'd better tell her I'm not shagging her" is just bizarre and massively egotistical

But it is arrogant to assume someone who’s just told you they have a spouse is dying to jump your bones.

If you wrongly assumed the person telling you they were married was a man, you might be forgiven for being suspicious. Some men are very upfront about the fact that they are married. They assume a woman might be up for no strings attached sex.

Completely and utterly missing the point. If it was a MAN saying to a WOMAN on a friends site that he just wanted to be friends, most women would be on their guard.

But that's not what's happening here. It's a WOMAN mentioning to a WOMAN that she has a wife.

OP says it the other woman definitely knew she's a woman.

People tying themselves in knots here to justify homophobia.

Perhaps you see lesbians as another sort of man, @KatharineofAragon ?

It's all very insulting and you ought to stop digging.

People really will come up with any sort of excuse to apologise for this. Its like people don't want to acknowledge that homophobia is alive and well in modern society, even though its been demonstrated on this very thread by users like @Percyprod. The whole trope of gay people being predatory is as old as the hills.

Probably just doesn’t like same sex marriages. Doesn't make her a bad person

yes it fucking does

And so they should

Most men prefer men as their friends, they may have female friends that they've made through life but looking online specifically for a female friend when they're married, nope, can't see it happening.

However a married lesbian looking for female friends is normal and happens all the time.

What's more likely:

a. A man decided to pretend to be a woman on a friendship app by somehow tricking the photo verification system so that he could sleep with woman, which he tries to do by talking about his wife.

b. A woman who happens to be married to a woman is legitimately looking for a friend.

This

the knots some people here are tying themselves into trying to explain away a bit of low level casual homophobia from a straight woman.

Reminds me of when a story is told about an abusive man. Cue 200 other men popping up to say “not all men” as though they someone how have defend their dishonoured tribe.