Did she really just say this?! WTAF?!

[Takemebacktothenorth]

Hi,

I'm trying not to be outraged by this, but I just can't get my head around this womans comment!

Joined a friend app a few months a go and have actually been pleasantly surprised by it so far and have met some lovely women and made a few good friends, which was the aim, so am obviously happy.

However, I had been chatting to this woman for a few days and she sounded like an intelligent, interesting person, but when she asked what my husband did for a living and I corrected her and said "sorry, wife", she got really strange and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm really just looking for friends, which is why I'm on a friend app" 😶🤔🙄

Erm....what? 1, why would I try to find women on a friend app when there are plenty of dating apps? 2, why would I try and chat her up by telling her I had a wife?! So many whys here!!

It's absolutely ridiculous and bloody insulting! Does me having a wife mean I can't possibly have a platonic relationship with a woman?!

Just venting really.

It’s just a misunderstanding? All you have to do is say “ me too!’ and carry on as before?

I guess if it’s more than a misunderstanding, her proceeding responses will reveal all!

good luck, though, I hope it resolves quickly and you can laugh about it.

Love this! Will be stealing it.

Dodged a bullet there OP. Better to find out now than invest anymore time in her.

Was just wondering if the people that think that also think that 2 gay woman can’t just be friends 🤔

That's actually hilarious. What a tool.

What did you reply?

That's what I thought, too.

If OP was cruising friendship sites looking for lonely women to trick into bed, i doubt she'd be telling them she's a married lesbian.

How can posters legitimately think she thought OP was calling her 'wife?'
For one thing that would be an absolutely bizarre thing to call someone you'd only spoken to briefly online a few times, even if it miiiiight be something close friends call each other as an affectionate term, but OP has clearly explained the context
"What does your husband do for a living?"
"Sorry, wife" [op hasn't said but I assume she then answered, 'she's a doctor' or whatever]
How can that be taken as anything other 'I don't have a husband, I have a wife???'

Even if used as an affectionate term it doesn't make any sense because it doesn't answer the question, so surely the woman would have clarified e.g.
"What does your husband do for a living?'
"Sorry babe/mate/buddy?"
"Where does he work?"

rather than
"What does your husband do for a living?"
"Sorry mate?"
"I AM ONLY HERE FOR FRIENDSHIP!"

And as for those saying it's fine because the woman only wanted to make it clear she wasn't interested OP has clearly already done that by 1) downloading a friendship based rather than a dating app, 2) not given any indication that she wanted anything other that friendship 3) stating she is already in a committed relationship.
How up yourself do you have to be for someone to give no signs whatsoever they have any intention of pursuing you romantically but still think 'I am so fucking gorgeous, there's no way someone who likes women wouldn't want to abandon her spouse for me, a random she's had a few text based conversations with, better make it absolutely clear I'm not interested.'

But why would you misunderstand?

Friendship app. Making friendly chat. Other woman, who you're currently happy is a woman looking for friends, in a relationship. That's ok, you don't need your friend to be single. You find out she's actually a homosexual woman. So now you think what? She's cruising friendship sites looking for a fling or a third woman in the bedroom?? Why would you assume that when you didn't think the heterosexual woman was looking to kinky it up?

@Takemebacktothenorth Is her name Samantha Brick?

To clarify, I didn't just put, "sorry, wife". I went on to talk about her. There's no way she thought I was calling her wife. That would be really dumb! Actually just looking at my messages again, I put "sorry, it's wife actually".

Seriously though, even if I had put "sorry, wife" and then followed it by talking about your wife, you'd get the picture.

Why did you say “sorry, wife”? I mean why sorry? I think it’s confused her.

like pp I do think she thought -no idea why-that you were calling her ‘wife’ or even that she thinks you are male and were saying you have a wife. It’s beyond her tiny mind that you are a woman, married to a woman, looking for a female friend.

Ahh x post.

If she thinks op said "sorry, wife" as in "sorry, mate" or "sorry, babe" or "sorry, Jenny", how is "im only looking for friendship a response that makes sense?

What does your husband do for work?
Sorry Jenny
I'm only here for friendship!!!!

Are you assuming she's responding to over familiarity of friendliness by asserting she's looking for friendship?

I could see
What does your husband do for work?
Sorry babe?
Ugh please dont call me babe, my ex did that, drives mr potty
Etc

Byt saying you're looking only for friendship only makes sense if you think the other person wants more and the only think that changes for her to assume op wants to netflix and chill with her is she found out op was a lesbian

Conceited much?

SleepingStandingUp hi, I don’t know, quite! Perhaps she’s a backstory of trauma from being unicorned! Maybe she is very assertive of her boundaries because of triggering, I don’t know. She might have thought OP called her “wife” as a flirtation…

There may be a cultural confusion over the British need to say sorry about everything but
"What's your husband do?"
"Sorry, its my wife. Shes an astro physicist who's lined up to get the next Nobel Prize"
Does not translate into "i havr a wife, lets fuck"

I remember trying to get my ex wife put on my rental contract and my landlord kept saying 'who? I don't understand' ....
me: 'my wife'....
him: 'I don't understand'

Op has clarified, theres no way it sounded like she was calling her wife

Whats your husband do?
Sorry, its my wife. She's an astronaut.

Am not googling unicorning.

That's homophobia. She's a twunt.

Sorry you had that experience @Takemebacktothenorth xx

I actually can't believe some people think she thought I was calling her wife! 😂 I know lesbians have a (n annoying) reputation for moving quickly, but that would be on another level!

I

What, so because you're gay you're not capable of having friends?!!

That's some next level ignorance, right there!

I do hope you've handed her her ass, OP!

SleepingStandingUp
ha, yes, OP clarified that one. I would just assume her response was a scrambled put your foot in it, but. It could be knee jerk ignorance, or genuine homophobia. I hope it’s a garbled instantly regretted comment and they can get on with their friendship okay, is what I meant to convey!

Op is allowed friends. Male ones. Probably best if they're also gay so they're not tempted by her. Just so she doesn't accidentally fuck one. Its people who are bi who are allowed no friends at all.

(Inserts sarcastic tone, having been on too many "can we just be friends" threads