If I ruled Mumsnet...

[UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa]

If you start a particularly juicy thread, you have to pay a deposit. If you don't come back with an update, you lose the deposit. I know I shouldn't get so invested, but I dooooooooo.

If you post on a thread without reading all of the OP's posts, you're banned for twenty-four hours so you can think about what you did!

Any others?

@Usernamenotavailabletryanother

I’d block everyone and run around agreeing with myself.

Exactly this. Well said.

I want a like button.

@Usernamenotavailabletryanother

I’d block everyone and run around agreeing with myself.

👏👏👏

I’d block everyone and run around agreeing with myself

I do that anyway

@Neverreturntoathread

I’d let people edit and delete their own posts, I think it’s really weird we can’t do this.

Because half of the posters on here would gladly rewrite history. Especially if they got some replies they didn't like...

I think a timed edit function would be a compromise though.

I would hate Like and Dislike buttons. So far MN have said no when asked but I wouldn't be surprised if they appear one day. Then nobody need type a word other than the OP I guess.
It's MN 'Talk' after all though-the clue's in the name.

I'd add an edit button!

Pleeease @MNHQ let us have an edit button already 😭

If I ruled Mumsnet, I'd want them to get behind this mother, make the threads about this sticky, or at least give them a fair chance of getting into Active so more people can see them and offer support. Instead, they move it to a quiet backwater topic or set the algorithms so it takes 5 posts instead of one to get into Active, and blink and you miss them:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/petitions_noticeboard/4525759--THREAD-2-Will-you-spare-five-minutes-to-help-the-lovely-Noah-Donohoe-get-the-justice-he-deserves-and-to-support-his-mummy-Fiona-in-getting-the-truth-about-what-happened-to-her-beloved-son

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4514507-Aibu-to-think-if-the-worst-happened-and-your-child-died-in-mysterious-circumstances-you-should-have-a-right-to-know-what-happened

@JazzPigeon

Ban threads that start with nothing more than a link to the latest DailyFail celebrity news article. Yes 'Britney is pregnant', I'm looking at you!

Yes, and we seem to be getting more of them.

Allow more than 1000 posts on a thread, whilst this made sense when our devices weren't as capable, some threads fill up incredibly fast!
An edit button, I'm guilty of spelling/grammar mistakes more often than I'd like to admit and it's embarrassing not being able to change them.

I'd have staff on at night, instead of leaving Mumsnetters and volunteers to deal with trolls, spammers and the posters we genuinely worry about who obviously need serious and urgent help.

There needs to be some fancy algorithm so that once a dozen posters have told the OP that she shouldn't have introduced boyfriend to her kids after only 1 month /6 months/a year no one else can post the same like they're the only person to have this deep insight

All hobbies MUST be clearly defined.

I would make a rule that any poster who asks for advice about their offspring, must indicate their DC's age in the opening post. Because the advice may differ depending on whether they are 8 or 18. It amazes me how many people leave out this important information.

@glebaisaword

Fine people who immediately reply 'get a grip' when the OP is clearly troubled by something, albeit could be a small issue to some folks, but obviously important to the OP in some way and is seeking advice. It's really unhelpful and has such a superior tone, like they've never worried about anything trivial in their lives

Fine people who, when someone posts about a problem between herself & a much-loved, longstanding friend, immediately replies, 'It sounds like you don't actually like your friend. I wonder why you're friends at all?'

@BruceAndNosh

All hobbies MUST be clearly defined.

Yes to this. Undefined hobbies engaged in by DH's and DP's of Mumsnetters has become almost an MN trope.

@Hawkins001

I'd also bring back the ability to view all 1000 posts on a single page, rather than keep clicking through so many at a time,

You can have all posts displayed on a single page.

I'd have the regular name of certain posters appear in red when they use the other one to shit stir on certain topics.

Nobody posting in Aibu “for traffic”.
Definitely no edit button. Can you imagine the confusion and arguments?
A special area for newbies where they can debate age old topics like Parent and Toddler parking and MILs visiting after birth.
A klaxon for old posters who haven’t posted for ages.

A ban on people posting a full stop to mark their place on the thread. Especially a sensitive one.

.

Chaos! How are you my lovely? [wunk]

How is your phone these days?

@SenecaFallsRedux

I would make a rule that any poster who asks for advice about their offspring, must indicate their DC's age in the opening post. Because the advice may differ depending on whether they are 8 or 18. It amazes me how many people leave out this important information.

And use the child's AGE not their school year. Saves confusion with people frothing "you can't let your 10 year old go into town on the train alone to meet his mates" when the child is actually 15 years old and 6 foot 4

I’d like a ban on having to stipulate a thread is ‘light-hearted’.

If people can’t work it out a bit of satire or irony, they should just bugger off.