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If I ruled Mumsnet...

225 replies

UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa · 11/04/2022 20:37

If you start a particularly juicy thread, you have to pay a deposit. If you don't come back with an update, you lose the deposit. I know I shouldn't get so invested, but I dooooooooo.

If you post on a thread without reading all of the OP's posts, you're banned for twenty-four hours so you can think about what you did!

Grin Any others?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Bananaramad · 16/04/2022 10:00

I'd fine anyone who starts a thread on Friday evening where all drama possible resolutions etc, can't be dealt with till Monday when OP gets in touch with the teacher/ boss or whoever. It's like dallas waiting for the next episode, also fine for posters who don't preview posts not necessarily for grammar or spellings but things like,kgiy in the middle of a sentence WHAT are you trying to say????? Ahhhh feels sooo good Easter Smile

Teenagequeenwithaloadedgun · 16/04/2022 10:15

Any whataboutery or comments like 'you must have a lot of time on your hands to worry about THAT, OP' results in a ban on posting for the next 15 years.

Similarly, any OP that posts about the same thing repeatedly in AIBU without doing anything about the situation is limited to posting in Money Matters until 2046.

Teenagequeenwithaloadedgun · 16/04/2022 10:19

I love the picture idea.

Me 'you've behaved like a twat'

If I ruled Mumsnet...
LittleBearPad · 16/04/2022 10:29

People should have to learn the bookmarking, watching options before they’re allowed to post. Endless placemarkibg posts could then stop cluttering things up.

Sparklingbrook · 16/04/2022 11:37

Maybe a small tutorial with test at the end for all newbies? Grin

HRTQueen · 16/04/2022 11:59

A little red flag option for myself to place against some posters so I can skip their posts

TeaAndStrumpets · 16/04/2022 12:24

Thanks for this OP.

I thought of what would make MN more agreeable (to me).

I would love a special font whereby I could give an honest reply to an extremely annoying poster....eg "stop being such a patronising halfwit".....but because I'd used the special font my post would disappear before anyone could reply. Like writing an angry letter and tearing it up.

On a more positive note, I would like to bestow something like Brownie badges on posters who please me. Eg. Sensible Reply, Funny Comment, Thank you For RTFT.

whitewashing · 16/04/2022 12:52

Anyone who says (I know I know!)
Anyone who posts something perfectly reasonable, asks if they’re a ‘horrible person’ and when everyone says ‘no OP! You’re not horrible at all!!!’ OP comes back with ‘Oh! I expected everyone to say I was!’ No you didn’t…
They’d be banned for life…

UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa · 16/04/2022 20:30

Loving the ideas, but all these lifelong bans could be troublesome. Surely we'd need some kind of rehabilitation program, at least for first-time offenders.

OP posts:
whitewashing · 16/04/2022 21:03

Nah. Ban them.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 16/04/2022 22:15

MNHQ can ban whoever they like, but I wish they weren't so quick to delete threads, even if they are by a Previously banned poster.
Even if the OP is trolling, some of the responses can still be helpful to others

Yes, certainly. I would have far fewer threads deleted. Obviously, anything using very offensive language needs to go, or at least the offensive word(s) replaced with “I’m an idiot poster in red”; however anything just really nasty should remain, but with the whole post surrounded by a box of sparkly glittery moving tinsel saying “Ooh, get you!” or “If you can’t say anything nice….”. Deleting it just draws more attention to it and makes people wonder what it said. Within reason, it’s better to allow them to remain and be challenged/ridiculed rather than just let a nasty person get away with plopping and then anonymity.

All new posters should have to tick a box at registration to confirm: “I have read and solemnly understood that this forum is open to ALL adults, thus there is NO NEED for me to start a thread demanding to know why men, and women who aren’t mums, are on Mumsnet, as though nobody else has ever thought to ask that before”.

Automatic suspension if you type ‘would of/could of’ or ‘que’ when you mean ‘queue’ or get lose/loose/your/you’re/his/he’s wrong.

But almost every time people wrongly type ‘que, they actually mean ‘cue’…. Even so, I’d still automatically replace it with a gif of Manuel!

Personally, my rule would be no one could post on a 4 page plus thread, unless they had at the least read all of the OPs posts. A big memo could flash up RTFT before you could post.

Preferably also with a message in big letters saying “If you think the thread is already too long for you (or anybody) to bother reading it all, do you realise that adding your comment will only make it longer – and thus mean that, according to your own reckoning, you are wasting your time posting something that you do not expect anybody to ever actually read?”

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 16/04/2022 22:16

I would have far fewer threads deleted.

I would indeed have fewer threads deleted, but in this context, I meant individual posts.

KatherineJaneway · 17/04/2022 05:56

I would not delete threads where the op wants it taken down because they've had their arse handed to them. They always claim 'privacy concerns' but it is just because they don't want to hear the truth.

SirChenjins · 17/04/2022 09:03

@KatherineJaneway

I would not delete threads where the op wants it taken down because they've had their arse handed to them. They always claim 'privacy concerns' but it is just because they don't want to hear the truth.
Nope, let MN take it down - although if they stopped the dickhead posts from the shit stirrers ‘just giving their opinion’ they probably wouldn’t need to delete threads so often (see my ‘Tea and Sympathy’ suggestion). Far too often posters are handed their arse when there’s absolutely no need for it - MN isn’t fucking Twitter, regardless of what some posters think.
Sparklingbrook · 17/04/2022 10:35

I wouldn't retain any threads forever. A year, tops.

JusticeSystem · 17/04/2022 13:25

@Sparklingbrook

I wouldn't retain any threads forever. A year, tops.
I would! Some of the old ones are so good to read and the topic is relevant to me even though it was a few years ago
KatherineJaneway · 17/04/2022 13:36

Nope, let MN take it down - although if they stopped the dickhead posts from the shit stirrers ‘just giving their opinion’ they probably wouldn’t need to delete threads so often (see my ‘Tea and Sympathy’ suggestion). Far too often posters are handed their arse when there’s absolutely no need for it - MN isn’t fucking Twitter, regardless of what some posters think.

Nope, let them stay up. You post in AIBU you know what you are in for, total honesty. If you want gentle then that's fine, post in Relationships etc.

CharityShopChic · 17/04/2022 13:42

Get rid of the personal messaging. Too much of a gift to the people who post threads about how hard up they are and how they've just spent their last fiver on nappies for their twins and have no money to buy food at all. And pretend they are looking for "ideas" when in fact they really want 50 gullible MNetters all to bung them a tenner.

HRTQueen · 17/04/2022 13:48

A light bulb to place next to all the arm chair psychologists on here

Warnings to other to not bother reading their drama inducing posts

Sparklingbrook · 17/04/2022 13:58

I would! Some of the old ones are so good to read and the topic is relevant to me even though it was a few years ago

MN is fairly cyclical threads repeat themselves many times. I think if you like a thread save it before it disappears after 12 months…

SirChenjins · 17/04/2022 13:58

You post in AIBU you know what you are in for, total honesty. If you want gentle then that's fine, post in Relationships etc

If only that were the case - posters are regularly mauled on all sorts of threads. I’d certainly add a warning to AIBU though - it’s often unnecessarily vicious.

BronwenFrideswide · 17/04/2022 13:58

Posters who don't read the thread, or at the bare minimum the OP's posts, and then plop on the thread that has been running for days and has garnered 100's of posts with a comment or question that has been made or answered three days ago at least once and the thread has moved very far on from that would have their posting privileges removed for 7 days for the first offence, moving up to a total ban for repeating the offence.

Sparklingbrook · 17/04/2022 13:59

@CharityShopChic

Get rid of the personal messaging. Too much of a gift to the people who post threads about how hard up they are and how they've just spent their last fiver on nappies for their twins and have no money to buy food at all. And pretend they are looking for "ideas" when in fact they really want 50 gullible MNetters all to bung them a tenner.
Nooo! PMs are really useful used in the right way. Sad
C25kBecky · 17/04/2022 14:07

I wouldn't allow reporting a post because people don't like what was said. It's different if the post is abusive or spam, but a lot of people on here need to learn to scroll on by and stop being such cry baby tell tale tits.

SirChenjins · 17/04/2022 14:11

Fear not, MN won’t delete a post just because someone doesn’t like it - only if it breaches talk guidelines.

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