Would you go back to work if you were married to a multi millionaire

[Ladylondon007]

Long and short of it is I have come from a very average family. First to go to university worked my balls off to make in a male dominated career to achieve well a steady income which at full time would provide 70k per year. Full time..not wanting such long hours I have been offered 22.5 hours a week pro rata, flexi to work whenever suits. Which is a pretty good deal for someone who is a professional and doesn’t want to work full time. I have a 12 month old and a 4 year old. Here’s the but, despite my career choices being good I have not progressed at the speed I would have liked, I am not a director due to kids, overlooked for promotion actually being told ‘ well we wouldn’t promote you when your were pregnant’. This was a blow at the time as worked my ass off for this company. On the plus side my life choice in Husband was good ! Backed a winer ! Fell madly i. Love when he was penniless just starting up his business . FF 15 years and he is now a multi millionaire. I have full access to finances doesn’t bag an eyelid on what I spend. But I feel I am missing something. I have been on maternity leave 12 months and have a dilemma as to whether to return to work. I don’t like to depend on anyone but really my salary is so insignificant. I love my job but are so torn as so many of my friends are divorced. I interested to hear your thoughts and opinions

My husband’s income is completely irrelevant to my desire to work.

Want do you want to do? Does your dh have an opinion?

Never let yourself be completely financially dependent on a man

Go to work.. if you want.. you have the freedom most women do not..,

Yes I would because my husband's wealth is irrelevant to my own sense of worth and vue.

It doesn't hurt to retain some financial independence either.

Supports me and says I can get involved with his business which is what my professional qualification is in. Also thinks working will limit our holidays to so many days, if I worked for/with him limitless holidays with kids (9 weeks in summer at kids school) versus 20 days dictates by my employer. I really don’t want to sound disconnected or entitled In this post. I’m so welcoming of others opinions . My father installed ‘never depend on anyone’ but it’s hard when the benefits outweigh things

I’d go back part time plus I’d make sure I had excellent childcare and a housekeeper.

I’d also be paying the maximum possible into a private pension as well as any occupational scheme.

There's "getting involved with the business" and there is being paid, as an employee, for doing work for the business. You have a degree in it. You are not unintelligent. Use your brain and also take this opportunity to realise you have so many choices when so many do not.

I love my job but are so torn as so many of my friends are divorced

Sorry, what does this mean? Do you think they divorced because they both worked?

Im fairly ambivalent about my job, but Im a better Mum when I work; it keeps my brain engaged & I think it sets a good example to my children about autonomy & independence.

No but it is very disempowering for the non working spouse imo and can lead to low self esteem etc

My DH isn’t a millionaire but we could afford for me not to work if I wanted, I chose to work PT but I love my job and would never give it up. I went back when the dc were small because I wanted something for myself that wasn’t mum or wife.
It kept my brain active and is my own identity away from my family.

I didn’t work except a very occasional contract of a month here and there until my DD was 5 and in school .
Now back at work with a very good job .
I’ll never regret spending those early years with my DD. It was idyllic.

Why not give it a year in your current job and then see how things stand? Ask them again about promotion prospects. But think hard before you walk away from a good role that you have secured on your own merit and with some inbuilt flexibility (part time). Working for DH could be a sound plan B if you don't get the career opportunities you are looking for in your current company. Or if you are looking for even more flexibility in the future. But it sounds like your current role does have potential and it's great to have your own career separate from DHs business for reasons others have outlined - independent, self esteem etc etc

Dont get involved in his business unless you become a shareholder and have a salaried role.

If you just “ help him out “ you will never get a fair salary and the respect of your colleagues /staff.

We are, but it's an income we've built together. I still work. The amount of zeros on your bank balance shouldn't define you. Working brings many positive feelings to a person. Both contributing brings a healthy balance in a relationship. Our kids have jobs too. A good work ethic stands you in good stead.

It would depend on how the household finances are arranged. For starters, are these multi-millions in accounts that are jointly held? Would he be ok with you using the family funds to create a fully funded pension in your name?

If you do end up working for his business, ad-hoc would be fine to start if it’s just a few hours here and there to learn the business, but I would want an agreement that once you start a regular schedule you become an actual employee, albeit part-time. I’d probably pencil that in for when the youngest starts school with the understanding it might trigger earlier.

Go and enjoy your DC's!
I'm not against being at home full time especially when DC are younger. Just make sure he pays into a pension for you.

It depends if you get more from work than just £, and whether you can get that from not working. Only you know that.

I have a higher earning spouse (not millions, but enough) and didn't work for 7 years. On one hand it was great as I didn't miss a thing, and my youngest needed me for lots of complex reasons (SEN). But , on the other hand it really impacted my self esteem. In hindsight I would have carried on working part time.

Dont get involved in his business unless you become a shareholder and have a salaried role.

This x1000. If you divorce a self-employed rich man he will hide assets like they're stolen.

Regardless, I love my job and having something to talk about which I'm passionate about and my DH doesn't know everything about without me speaking is important.

I'd have had my notice typed and on my boss's desk before he'd even arrived at work.

@madisonbridges

I would. But I retrained later in life in order to be able to arrange my work around my DC. I would not want to be completely financially dependent on anyone. Nor would I want to give up the escape break from family life and social interactions that work brings.

Honestly, I would quit the job I'm in because it's unfulfilling and I'm only working to pay the bills. I'm currently doing a part time degree in order to re-train and I would continue doing that. I'd then aim to work part time in the career I want, because I know I'd enjoy it. Failing that, I'd be looking at volunteering or some other way of filling my time. As others have said, I'd also be wanting to ensure long term financial security (pension, savings) wasn't compromised.

I would happily take a role in my husbands business if he had one with interesting roles for me. Legally we’d get advice but I’d need some contract in place and expect to be a shareholder /director. And I’d be clear that this flex had to work for me not just him and dc, having seen friends working late evenings for stuff their husbands want done!

Yes I would work. And do.

My job defines me in many ways and I don't think I'd be able to cope being reliant on him for money. I can more than pay my way if we split; which is how I've always liked it. As our wealth has built I've been able to be part time, have extended periods of unpaid leave and take lower paid roles just out of professional interest.