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Original poster

Would you go back to work if you were married to a multi millionaire

171 replies

Ladylondon007 · 28/10/2021 00:34

Long and short of it is I have come from a very average family. First to go to university worked my balls off to make in a male dominated career to achieve well a steady income which at full time would provide 70k per year. Full time..not wanting such long hours I have been offered 22.5 hours a week pro rata, flexi to work whenever suits. Which is a pretty good deal for someone who is a professional and doesn’t want to work full time. I have a 12 month old and a 4 year old. Here’s the but, despite my career choices being good I have not progressed at the speed I would have liked, I am not a director due to kids, overlooked for promotion actually being told ‘ well we wouldn’t promote you when your were pregnant’. This was a blow at the time as worked my ass off for this company. On the plus side my life choice in Husband was good ! Backed a winer ! Fell madly i. Love when he was penniless just starting up his business . FF 15 years and he is now a multi millionaire. I have full access to finances doesn’t bag an eyelid on what I spend. But I feel I am missing something. I have been on maternity leave 12 months and have a dilemma as to whether to return to work. I don’t like to depend on anyone but really my salary is so insignificant. I love my job but are so torn as so many of my friends are divorced. I interested to hear your thoughts and opinions

OP posts:
IdblowJonSnow · 28/10/2021 10:05

If you enjoy your job go back, if not then don't.
Is your DHs money all tied up in the business? Do you have some of the many millions in your own account/s?

Siepie · 28/10/2021 10:09

I’d definitely keep working. I enjoy my job, I need adult company (found maternity leave hard for that reason) and it’s flexible enough that I still have time with DC.

That said, if I were working in some previous jobs, which I really did do just to pay the bills, I would give it up to become a SAHM or maybe retrain, study something interesting, volunteer, etc.

Nillynally · 28/10/2021 10:09

Do what you want to do. But raising a family and keeping a home is equally as important as work even though it isn't 'paid'.

ifonly4 · 28/10/2021 10:17

I'm very capable of filling my day without work, but if I had the option due to my OH being very rich, then I'd give up work but get involved with supporting one or two charities I'm passionate about.

Funnily enough, I have a friend who's married to a millionaire, and he's about to inherit a few million! They both go out to work because they either enjoy it/or the company. He's actually a TA at a school which he loves. She actually enjoys cleaning so has one morning cleaning a week, and works as a lunchtime supervisior at a school as she likes the atmosphere and the company.

You do what's right for you (and obviously taking your family into consideration).

beautifullymad · 28/10/2021 10:23

No I wouldn't work. But, I'd make sure that every single asset was in joint names. I'd also make sure I had equal savings to his in my name. I'd pay into good pensions with matching contributions to his.

Then if anything did happen you'll be able to walk away with equal assets and from the sounds if things, not need to work again anyway.

It sounds as though you won't need to worry, but it never hurts to plan sensibly.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 28/10/2021 10:23

I’d give up work in a heartbeat. I’d never be bored, there are lots of interests I could pursue and could do voluntary work if I wished. Even more so with a young family.

caringcarer · 28/10/2021 10:30

As your DH shares money equally with you I see no problem in staying at home if you want to or helping run the business you both own. If you get involved in family business you would have good idea of finances if ever you did divorce. Do what makes you happy.

Theredjellybean · 28/10/2021 10:35

I can understand your dh point of view. He sees it as he has worked hard, made a lot of money and now would like the whole family to benefit, so things like being able to go away, travel etc for long school holidays... But this is stymied by you have an employed job.
I imagine you too feel torn, there is more to working than just the money obviously.
Could you also become self employed and do contract work in your field.? Set up your own business that your husband's buissness can then contract to and you coukd also work for other companies as well? That way you'd have your own independent career, work stimulation and the flexibility to have time off as and when you want it...

1AngelicFruitCake · 28/10/2021 10:41

I find the ‘backed a winner’ part of your post distasteful.

TheBlackHeart · 28/10/2021 10:51

No, I wouldn't work. And DH would be happy for me not to.

secretbookcase · 28/10/2021 10:54

@beautifullymad

No I wouldn't work. But, I'd make sure that every single asset was in joint names. I'd also make sure I had equal savings to his in my name. I'd pay into good pensions with matching contributions to his.

Then if anything did happen you'll be able to walk away with equal assets and from the sounds if things, not need to work again anyway.

It sounds as though you won't need to worry, but it never hurts to plan sensibly.

At very least this. Everything joint and every pension and savings pot matched.
Rosesareyellow · 28/10/2021 10:55

A multi-millionaire? Depends how many millions we’re talking I suppose. Maybe I would.
I’m a teacher - I love my job but it’s stressful. If I had millions I would happily just volunteer in a school and help out, no work pressures.

VladmirsPoutine · 28/10/2021 11:10

I'd put my feet up. I'd also start a rainy-day fund. Smile

midlifecrash · 28/10/2021 11:47

Get a different job?

makelovenotpetrol · 28/10/2021 12:19

Has no one realised this is a troll or a journo.

Ridiculous bragging post and then doesn't return after 6 pages Grin

Come on everyone this isn't real.

Hodgehog · 28/10/2021 12:22

In my current role Christ no id quit. I would likely do some volunteer work in my industry (it’s not well paid and there are places that need people to do exactly this) and possibly get involved in funding some similar projects as it’s something I genuinely care about but dislike the workload and poor pay.

FavouriteMug · 28/10/2021 12:24

Work part time on the business but insist on fair salary and pension. Could the business fund extra training and qualifications for you too? Extra string to your bow should the worse happen.

Camblewick · 28/10/2021 12:25

It comes down to what you want out of life. If you want to work or not. We can afford for me not to work (nowhere near millionaire status!) but I work because I want to. I was a SAHM for a few years because it suited our family at the time but I can't imagine not working now.

I would always encourage some kind of financial independence too.

SirChenjins · 28/10/2021 12:25

@makelovenotpetrol

Has no one realised this is a troll or a journo.

Ridiculous bragging post and then doesn't return after 6 pages Grin

Come on everyone this isn't real.

I agree! MN is not usually this naive Grin
FavouriteMug · 28/10/2021 12:26

Also how liquid are the assets? Sorry to sound brutal but in the event of divorce this could make a difference.

TheFairPrincess · 28/10/2021 12:33

Work can be so different depending on your situation and on the type of person you are.

I always thought I'd give up work if we got a lot of money or if DP earned loads, as I'm very maternal and love looking after my DC.

But, since working from home and having lots of time off on maternity leave over the last 6 years, I've realised a balance of adult life and child centric life if ideal. I only work part time and it's the perfect balance. I couldn't work more, but also wouldn't want to work less.

However I'm young, and the idea of building a career is appealing and exciting. If I had had my kids 10 -15 years later I might feel different. If I hated my job, if it had no progression opportunities or if I couldn't work flexibly I would feel different. If I had an uncaring partner instead of a lovely one I would obviously be very wary of ever not working.

So it really is just such a personal question. All I will say is I am a pretty work shy person by nature and even I baulk at the idea of never being in a professional environment again.

Lipsandlashes · 28/10/2021 12:35

If I was qualified in the same business my husband had raised from the ground I wouldn't then work for someone else. I would put everything I had into the family business, making it even bigger and better.
I suppose that depends on your desire to work (which sounds strong).

iamtheoneandonlyyy · 28/10/2021 12:39

Nope. I'd shop

BiddyPop · 28/10/2021 12:43

Like others, what I do for work is irrelevant to DH's earning/money status.

I enjoy my work and what it allows me to do and the opportunities it gives me.

If money were literally no object, I would probably try to make some changes, which would probably include buying a better house, a few specific items (exercise bike, or better yet, a home pool; and also a sailboat). And taking some more time off than I do at the moment to travel (mostly by boat).

But I think I would still want to do at least some of what I do, and be stuck into the projects for a good portion of the year.

(Although I might think about retiring a little earlier and doing something related to my current role on a PT basis while I travel).

sharpenyourknives · 28/10/2021 14:07

No. I don't and I have a pretty similar situation to you. Number one reason for me is the holidays. I do bits and bobs for my husband and I volunteer. I have a lovely life but maybe I just was never that ambitious. I'm very busy - 4 kids and lots of activities etc My husband views all money as family money and I spend as I wish.