Kids parties - why are people so cheeky?

latte101 · 2021-10-24T19:47:11+00:00

It's my DS's party in a couple of weeks. I've had four parents ask can they bring younger siblings! Wtf is this about?! There's 28 coming already! I'd never dream of asking!!

VenusClapTrap · 24/10/2021 20:50

It’s usually logistics. It can be a pain to find someone to have the younger one while you’re at a party with the older one. Unless it’s drop and go. No excuse then - it’s a bit cheeky.

ComDummings · 24/10/2021 20:51

I don’t think it’s too cheeky to ask. A little but at least they’re asking in advance and not just turning up with a sibling. Some people struggle to find childcare for the sibling so I wouldn’t mind a few extras so long as I had advance notice.

Monsterpumpkins · 24/10/2021 20:53

Sorry that's not possible but happy for you to drop the invited dc off....

WakeUpLockie · 24/10/2021 20:53

Better to ask than just turn up with them and assume? Just say no if you can’t accommodate them. My husband is often away so I’d firstly ask if I can drop and run, but second option would be id have to bring the younger one.

AliceMcK · 24/10/2021 20:53

Not everyone has childcare for siblings. I’ve never had a problem inviting siblings along, I always offer, some greatfully accept other are ok and can find childcare else where.

Clymene · 24/10/2021 20:54

It really depends if you're expecting parents to stay

Viviennemary · 24/10/2021 20:54

I think it's very cheeky to ask to bring extra children.

MynameisJune · 24/10/2021 20:56

I had to ask at a party for my eldest DC today, my husband is away and my mum is also away. Usually I have childcare for the youngest but not today. It was a soft play party, they’re 5 so I can’t leave. I also said that I’d pay for her to get in and that I wouldn’t expect her to join in with the food etc. Luckily the mum also has a smaller child and was lovely about it. I hate to think that she thinks I’m a cf for it.

ItsSnowJokes · 24/10/2021 20:57

We are having a full class party in January and I am going to write on the invites no siblings as we just can't afford the extra £10 it will cost per head for them. If that means people won't come, then that will be a shame but we are already shelling out £300 so can't afford another possible 2-300 if everyone brought a sibling!

Clymene · 24/10/2021 20:58

But yes if it's one they have to stay form they should make it fiesta that they're not expecting you to pay for, feed or give a party bag to their younger child.

FreeElf · 24/10/2021 20:58

It’s really tricky to get someone to have a sibling for a few hours in the day for lots of people. Depends on the party….soft play or something in a public place they could just pay for the sibling to join in, village hall doesn’t cost any extra to have a few extras, I used to do a bit of extra food just in case. If you don’t want siblings there just reply that you can’t accommodate, but be prepared this may mean invitee can’t make it either.

KitKat1985 · 24/10/2021 20:59

I'm in a similar boat. DD's party in 2 weeks. Hall space is a bit limited and I've had the odd 'I may have to bring sibling' message. I get that it's hard though, especially for single parent families who don't necessarily have someone to look after a sibling. I would say though that if it's a 'pay per head' type party then they should I think offer to pay for any siblings that attend.

Haggisfish3 · 24/10/2021 20:59

I don’t mind people asking

Cantstopthewaves · 24/10/2021 21:00

Unfortunately there may be some parents who don't have anyone who can look after their other children.

CottageOnTheHill · 24/10/2021 21:01

I would never have asked to bring younger siblings along. If I had no childcare then the older child wouldn’t be attending the party, it’s just bloody cheeky.

maofteens · 24/10/2021 21:01

How old? Just gave them drop the kid off.

BrilliantBetty · 24/10/2021 21:02

Firstly people are absolute CF when it comes to parties I have many examples! My favourite not RSVPing or RSVPing yes and then not showing up with no good reason given.

Anyway in your example I think it depends on the type of party. Paid for activity or a hall with bouncy castle type thing?
And whether parents were expected to stay. Personally I would have to bring younger sibling if I was expected to stay.

SnarkyBag · 24/10/2021 21:02

I think if it’s a soft play party and parents pay for siblings/don’t expect food then it’s a non issue. If it’s a house or a hall then it’s a bit cheeky, although the other alternative is they don’t stay so I guess it’s which one is the least hassle for you

WorriedMillie · 24/10/2021 21:03

Any parties where parents might be expected/want to stay, we anticipated a few siblings might tag along and we catered for this and provided spare party bags, etc
These didn’t incur any additional cost/bookings tho (apart from the above). If pre-booked, numbers accounted for, it’s more problematic

BettyOBarley · 24/10/2021 21:03

Depends if it's a pay per head or village hall make your own food type party, where the odd extra makes no odds really.
Saying that Ive never asked. However last wknd DS had a party at someone's house. I ended up doing a 10 mile round trip to drop DD at her grandma's and same at the end. Turned out loads of siblings were there and it was more the merrier, so I don't see the harm in people asking...you can still politely say no.
Last weekend DS had a party

Wide · 24/10/2021 21:04

I think they might mean is it pk to bring them along and sit with them (although they will probably join in the dancing etc) rather than meaning can they have games gifts, food and a party bag etc etc I don't think people would mean as an actual guest more of a I have nowhere to take them can they sit with me

Cazck · 24/10/2021 21:06

Some people just don't have childcare whilst they attend the party to watch over the other child. That is life for some of us!
I have had to take my youngest before and I always brings toys to entertain him and his own food so he is not taking anything from the party or getting in other kids way.
I am considerate to the hosts and the party guests but also need to accommodate for my other child.

Marvel23 · 24/10/2021 21:06

It was my son's party yesterday and I had one parent ask me multiple times if siblings could come. I kept explaining that I needed to keep numbers to a safe level for the bouncy castle. She then said it was her 3 year olds birthday that day and had hoped to tag it on to our party. I again said no a bouncy castle with 25-30 7 year olds would not be safe for little ones! The Dad was at home so not a childcare issue just cheeky. It was absolute chaos on the bouncy castle so glad I said no.

SpookyPumpkinPants · 24/10/2021 21:06

@MynameisJune

I had to ask at a party for my eldest DC today, my husband is away and my mum is also away. Usually I have childcare for the youngest but not today. It was a soft play party, they’re 5 so I can’t leave. I also said that I’d pay for her to get in and that I wouldn’t expect her to join in with the food etc. Luckily the mum also has a smaller child and was lovely about it. I hate to think that she thinks I’m a cf for it.

Don't worry, I certainly wouldn't think you're a CF.

Now the woman that left the younger one at our then 3yo's BP certainly was. Yep LEFT her 3yo without even saying she was leaving, AND younger sibling (about 13 months).

She sent her DH to collect them - well after it officially ended too! (Didn't really matter as it was a garden party and loads of people were still there, but we hadn't intended on looking after both her kids for something like 7 hours!)

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 24/10/2021 21:07

I'm happy that when mine were young bringing siblings was perfectly normal... you paid if it was per head, otherwise you just kept them away from food and party bags. Military community, so one parent being absent was a common occurance.