Kids parties - why are people so cheeky?

[latte101]

It's my DS's party in a couple of weeks. I've had four parents ask can they bring younger siblings! Wtf is this about?! There's 28 coming already! I'd never dream of asking!!

[GettingItOutThere]

Its the ones who dont ask, bring a sibling and let them join in/eat food etc which are bloody rude

I don't mind kids/siblings coming, as long as they are paid for (soft play), told they cannot eat the party food/join in and get their own food/don't encroach on the (mostly) younger kids parties.

I think it needs to be put on the invites that siblings welcome to be paid for and play/eat separately

[fiddlestick124]

I think it depends if you're asking the parents to stay. Especially if you're asking them to stay to help supervise.

Totally get it shouldn't be a case of dropping both kids off so you can go off and have a nice lunch, but if you're expecting the parent to stay, you'll have to expect siblings too

[Doyouknowtheway]

I've had one Mum ask where my other child was at a hall party and I said well I didn't know she was invited her name wasn't on the invite, but I've brought the invited. Host was miffed and thought it was the done thing to just bring along. Its not about making numbers up and some people do think thats what it's about. One Mum messaged to ask if her Sister(who was on her way to drop her daughter at my DD party which started in 10mins) could also leave her own kids there. Erm nope, rude.
Just decline the invite instead of trying to geg other kids in. If stuck I would maybe send a message saying we're hoping to be there just got childcare issues that day, then its down to the host to offer.

[JSL52]

@winteranimal

I have a school aged child and a baby. If my child is invited to a party then my baby has to come. I check beforehand that this is OK but I don't have any other options for childcare. When she is bigger I may be able to leave her with my husband but if he's not available then either my child will go to the party with his sibling in tow or he won't be able to go. We don't have family who live near enough to provide childcare. We can't ask them to make a 4 hour round trip to watch one of them for an hour. I would always check first, pay for my additional child where necessary, possibly bring along extra food for her and compensate with a more expensive gift. If someone said no then we would simply decline the party invitation with no hard feelings. I'm not sure what the issue is here - you just say no if you can't accommodate any extra person.

Why can't your husband look after the baby or take the older one to the party ?

[NichyNoo]

It’s fair enough if it’s a single parent family desperate for childcare but if the mum is asking because her precious DH has an important commitment like football or cycling then I’d tell them to F off. Dad can look after the sibling.

[sunshineandshowers40]

It's a hard age especially if you don't feel
Comfortable leaving your 5 year old. I use to leave if it was DC3, when it was Dc1 I would either leave the other two with their Dad (if he wasn't at work) or give them an iPad. Sometimes the host would let them join in, sometimes if they were lucky they even got a party bag! It depends on the child. DC3 was happy to be left from nursery age (knew most of the children and parents). DC2 was a nightmare and wanted me there.

[NichyNoo]

Where I live, parents stayed at the party until around the age of 7. After that it is drop and run. If there’s a sibling then one parent takes kid to party and the other parent looks after sibling (assuming two parent household).

[Bemoreme21]

I'd never dream of taking an uninvited sibling either. I find it hard to believe all these dads are working on a saturday and can't watch the sibling. Also do none of you have a school mum/dad friend that can take your invited DC as well as their own to the party in this instance? People are just so entitled that they can't be bothered to find a solution.

[DeathMetalMum]

If it's soft play I wouldn't even ask and just pay for any other dc on arrival, as well as any food/drinks needed, the party doesn't have exclusivity of the soft play.

Anywhere else and it would depend on the age, if I knew any other parents etc and either ask if I can bring sibling, drop off or just say we couldn't attend.

[MyDcAreMarvel]

At five in October most of the other children will only be four, so a parent would stay. They can’t just leave their preschoolers/toddlers/babies alone.

[greengrassapreciationsociety]

Honestly I assumed that younger siblings would come because if the parent is at the party the younger child needs looking after. It is a given in the US that a younger sibling comes until the older child is quite old, old enough to not have a parent at the party.

[PegasusReturns]

If it’s drop and run then definitely no siblings. If not, you need to anticipate some siblings.

[Xmasbaby11]

5 was the age round here parents started to drop off, and that's your best option if there's limited space. As long as the child is confident enough, the parent is usually happy to have some time to themself.

The main problem is when you get a venue that's difficult to get to and then it's a pain for the parent to try to entertain the sibling / no time to go anywhere else. If it's a pay per entry eg soft play, parents are fine to pay the entry for the sibling in my experience.

I must admit it does change the dynamic if a load of toddlers are added. For my 6yo's party, there were masses of toddler siblings running riot and it just felt chaotic compared to how it would have been without. But I agreed (and parents paid for siblings) because the location meant it would have been difficult for parents otherwise.

The best thing is to make it clear as soon as possible.

[KeyboardWorriers]

Surely it depends how it is asked? I had to stay with DS due to his medical needs. I was a single mum and their dad rarely saw them. I had no family nearby. But I always made it clear that I would bring /pay for all the "non - invited" child's food etc (and entry if it was that kind of venue).

[spaceghetto]

I have asked previously to bring a sibling to hall parties. My dh works at the weekend and we have no nearby relatives. I took food and didnt expect a party bag etc. I would have no problem people asking this in return.

[PeterIsACockwomble]

Well... as PP have said: logistics.

I always did parties at home for my DC, and always made it clear to parents that they and younger siblings were welcome to stay (I used to write "Parents/grandparents/nannies/siblings very welcome" on the invitations). I used to do extra party bags for oodles of last minute sibling guests, on the grounds that I would always be able to polish off any spare cake. They were all small children, and there was no harm at all in including everyone.

[gemloving]

It sounds like you only have 1 child????
I'm so confused that there is politics. I wouldn't dream to not bring my second child (first will be 3 in jan), baby is 6 months but yes, the baby will be a 2 year old eventually.

If you need me there to look after my child, how can you expect to not have the younger one there? What if there is a single parent?

I wouldn't want to be invited 🤣 i actually think you're cheeky. Lol

[Thurlow]

@Bemoreme21

I'd never dream of taking an uninvited sibling either. I find it hard to believe all these dads are working on a saturday and can't watch the sibling. Also do none of you have a school mum/dad friend that can take your invited DC as well as their own to the party in this instance? People are just so entitled that they can't be bothered to find a solution.

Yes, because everyone works a 9-5 Monday to Friday job

They asked. They're being polite. Your choices are letting the child stay unaccompanied or having a sibling there. Or, you know, you could be a bitch and exclude all the kids who don't have another family member to look after their sibling.

[Flowersintheattic2021]

When anyone has asked me I've said yes but you will need to pay on door for them. My dd age 6 attended a party at jump other week. I paid online for my 11 year old and got her some chips

[KatherineJaneway]

They want free childcare

[YourFinestPantaloons]

I'm a single parent and if I don't ask then unless it's a drop off my kid can't go. I'd rather be seen as cheeky than not try and do the right thing by my child.

[LuluJakey1]

Just get a few bowls of crisps, and 3 or 4 Colin the Caterpillar cakes and put them end to end like a human centipede, then throw a £1 coin into an empty room- finders keepers- hand out the party bags and they're all ready to go home.
(with apologies to Motherland)

[dottypencilcase]

Both mine are at nursery. Husband works abroad. If the older one is invited to a party, I'll always check to see if it's okay if I bring their younger sibling too. I've offered to pay for the younger one separately or help out if needed. I always give two gifts too if younger/uninvited sibling attends.

[Clymene]

@gemloving

It sounds like you only have 1 child????
I'm so confused that there is politics. I wouldn't dream to not bring my second child (first will be 3 in jan), baby is 6 months but yes, the baby will be a 2 year old eventually.

If you need me there to look after my child, how can you expect to not have the younger one there? What if there is a single parent?

I wouldn't want to be invited 🤣 i actually think you're cheeky. Lol

You're not invited, your child is

[YourFinestPantaloons]

@LuluJakey1 don't forget to play Gangnam Style, they go fucking nuts