Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Kids parties - why are people so cheeky?

209 replies

latte101 · 24/10/2021 20:47

It's my DS's party in a couple of weeks. I've had four parents ask can they bring younger siblings! Wtf is this about?! There's 28 coming already! I'd never dream of asking!!

OP posts:
HariboBrenshnio · 24/10/2021 21:47

I usually plan for siblings if it's a hall type setting or not a drop off. I don't think it's cheeky to ask, I'm a single parent and unless I can drop off my eldest, I'll have my youngest with me. If you can't accommodate siblings, that's fine we just wouldn't come.

Some kids won't turn up on the day who have said they will so it usually turns out fine if siblings stay. Once they get to 7/8 and parties are drop off this ain't an issue.

Amberflames · 24/10/2021 21:48

and one's DH is a complete twat who refuses to look after the kids on his own

This is really sad. With a Dad like that the kids probably miss out on loads of stuff. So to have to miss all their mates parties too is really unfair for them. Unfortunately it can be hard to tell whether people are taking the piss, their partner is working or their partner is a dick.

Amberflames · 24/10/2021 21:49

Can I ask, do invites make it obvious when it’s a drop and run party? Or is there an accepted age that everyone works to? Just wondering when I might start to get a few free hours on the odd Saturday afternoon Grin

hellsbells323 · 24/10/2021 21:50

It's not that cheeky. It's the reality of having more than one kid for some parents Confused

If it's the sort of party where you have to pay per head (soft play or the like) then simply don't include the siblings in the price. If it's a church hall doo then why would it make a difference?

Just do a few extra party bags.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 24/10/2021 21:52

Lots of people with 5 year olds would assume you’d want the parent to stay but they have younger dc and may not have childcare available. When dd1 was invited the inviting parents always said either they’d watch dd so drop her or they invited younger twins too as they knew dh worked weekends and I don’t have family near by. I don’t think it’s being a cf to ask. Mind you, I’ve had dc turn up to parties without responding so I’d assumed they wouldn’t come and dc not coming when they said they would. Both of these annoy me far more.

Polmuggle · 24/10/2021 21:53

OP would you rather they decline the invite outright without asking?

Noeuf · 24/10/2021 21:53

If it’s drop and go then you don’t need a sibling to attend so this must be age 4 and under?

Needspace21 · 24/10/2021 21:54

They could be single parents and they can't come otherwise.

Bushkin · 24/10/2021 21:55

@latte101 are parents expected to stay?

tiggerwhocamefortea · 24/10/2021 21:56

So are you expecting parents to stay??

If so then you have to expect they may bring a sibling or two

AspCommie · 24/10/2021 21:57

Absolutely outrageous when both parents come and also bring a sibling of the invited child.

sleepingrabbits · 24/10/2021 21:57

@LadyCleathStuart

There is one family who do this at every party, they always bring along the (much) older sibling even though both parents also attend. I mean why can't one take the older child somewhere while the other stays with the younger. It boggles the mind.

When there is no other childcare then fine as long as it isn't a pay per head activity but why would you look at a childs birthday party as a family day out?

This, it's been party weekend here and multiple people brought siblings, but some had both parents. ( I doubt they asked as they didn't for our party ) Ridiculous, it's not family day out. Then one asked where my other DC was as if I'd forgotten them Hmm

People are obviously just rude and I hope they learn that from reading it here .

ThorsLeftNut · 24/10/2021 21:59

I don’t have childcare for either of my children, so unless DH happens to be off work (rare on weekends!) we’re very much in a ‘one kid comes then so does the other’ situation!

WingBingo · 24/10/2021 22:01

Key question here, are you happy for parents to drop off?

If so, that’s all they probably need to know.

If not, then expect some parents to need to stay, and this may include their siblings.

My two DS’s are close in age. As they attend a small village school, they share a class. One DS was invited to a party but the other wasn’t (totally fine).

Well it would have been, but as the parent was not happy for me to drop off, I was stuck as the only option was for me and my other DS sit and watch the rest of his class enjoy a nerf gun battle plus party food etc.

I was so sad.

BFrazzled · 24/10/2021 22:01

If you are so worried about the cost then why on earth are you throwing a party for the whole class? Why?!

They are mostly meaningless waste of space and plastic tat nobody plays with in both presents and party favors. Do you really want all these children who your dc barely speaks to to come and jump in your hired bouncy castle and eat a piece of your tasteless sugary cake and a cold sausage and grubby carrot stick?

Just make a party for dcs actual friends and be done with it.

Let people who are not in financial straits throw a few whole class parties where parents can meet each other.

mayblossominapril · 24/10/2021 22:02

If I’m expected to stay then I have to bring the younger one. If it’s drop and go then just drop off the invited child

WingBingo · 24/10/2021 22:03

Just to add, DH was working. If no to parents are available I’d never take both DC.

Scarydinosaurs · 24/10/2021 22:04

You’ve not answered if you’re expecting parents to stay?

If you expect parents to supervise who do you think looks after the other child while the sibling is at the party?

Nothing CF about it, just a completely normal request.

Wineat5isfine · 24/10/2021 22:07

Better to ask than just turn up with siblings! Had that 2 years ago and then said parent complained that their older child couldn’t take part in the organised activity (per head paid for) and that said child was dairy / wheat intolerant etc.

DeliaDinglehopper · 24/10/2021 22:08

It’s not rude for them to ask and it’s not rude for you to say no.

DappledThings · 24/10/2021 22:10

Nothing cheeky about asking. Arriving with extra children without asking would be cheeky. Making a polite request isn't. Nothing wrong with you saying no either.

womaninatightspot · 24/10/2021 22:12

@Amberflames

Can I ask, do invites make it obvious when it’s a drop and run party? Or is there an accepted age that everyone works to? Just wondering when I might start to get a few free hours on the odd Saturday afternoon Grin
Generally in nursery people stay, once they are in school you drop and run unless parents are asked to stay. I've known parents to put on prosecco and nibbles for the grownups and we've sat outside in a sunny spot whilst the kids are entertained in the hall. Covid restrictions meant we weren't allowed in so it was guilt free :)
Theaspidistraiswilting · 24/10/2021 22:14

I once had a party at home (error) and one parent asked if she could drop off and also leave sibling. I said yes because I knew she was having a bad time and could do with a bit of time out. She told everyone it was a drop off party and siblings were welcome. It was a 3 year old's birthday party with just me in the house, expecting about 12 kids. Our house has a garden with a gate so while I was dealing with kids inside people just kept on dropping off more and more kids - had to call friends for back up - ended up with about 30 kids ranging from 3 to 12. It was hell and then half of them didn't turn up to collect on time. Never ever again will I have a party at home!

Sally872 · 24/10/2021 22:15

@amberflames I usually say "do you need a hand, I can stay if needed?" And host normally says "no we are fine no need to stay" if course they may say yes please but if that's the case then I would be happy to help. Normally they have family or closer friends than me who they've already asked.

Here generally people stayed at first set of parties aged 5 then not so much after that.

Notaroadrunner · 24/10/2021 22:16

@latte101

A mixed response, thanks everyone. It's his 5th. We have hired the village hall but it's a small hall, and an even smaller area where they eat. We've also got a bouncy castle and worried about the amount of kids on it. I would be fine if it was babies but these are 2 / 3 and will be running round. It's a small hall and already it's fit to burst.
In that case I'd say no but that they can drop the child off and collect them after the party.