Kids parties - why are people so cheeky?

[latte101]

It's my DS's party in a couple of weeks. I've had four parents ask can they bring younger siblings! Wtf is this about?! There's 28 coming already! I'd never dream of asking!!

[InMySpareTime]

If the baby is EBF they won't be running round disrupting the party.
Also, why is it absurd for a father to take a 5YO to a party?

[gemloving]

@Clymene if I dropped off my child and left, ok. If I have to watch my child, then clearly I have to be there so it's not only my child who is invited??

We're having a party for my soon to be 3 year old at a village hall. I rented soft play equipment and there will be food platters. I just expect everyone to bring all the kids + both parents (or one whatever you want really) as they are our friends or acquaintances now through NCT etc.

Politics might start when they get older and go to school, I don't know but I would never personally exclude siblings if the parents are there to watch them & I really don't see it as being cheeky. I really don't get it but it seems like a lot of people get the issue 🤣

[InMySpareTime]

And to reply to the poster without a spare car seat, one of the parents of the other party children would have a suitable car seat in their car already if you agree between you that one has both older siblings at the party and the other has both younger siblings elsewhere.

[winteranimal]

@InMySpareTime

If the baby is EBF they won't be running round disrupting the party.
Also, why is it absurd for a father to take a 5YO to a party?

It's absurd to take a day's annual leave to attend a child's birthday party. Surely I'm not being unreasonable in saying that?! Surely most people reserve annual leave for family holidays and the like...

[MerryMarigold]

I just think it's a little unreasonable to expect the party organisers to look after 20+ kids whilst overseeing everything. He is one of the oldest in the year so others will be 4.

As evidenced by this thread you will never ever get all kids being dropped and parents leaving. Even if 5 parents stayed (likely to be more), it would be enough to help out - and they would be forced to! If all parents stay and some need to bring siblings, it's absolute chaos with 28 extra adults (and I've known both parents to come sometimes!) plus a few siblings. You'd need a venue for 100! I would offer for those asking about siblings, to drop their kids and leave.

[InMySpareTime]

That's why parties are at the weekend. Most people don't work at the weekend.

[gogohm]

If you expect the parents to stay then you need to expect siblings, though if it's a cost per head situation they should pay for them.

Personally I didn't hold "friends" parties until 5 when they could be dropped off

[Cherrysoup]

If you expect parents to stay, you need to accept younger siblings will come along too. That needs to be factored in to the party when you're planning

Or they could decline the invitation? It’s not a summons or a requirement for the child to attend. There was a thread on this a while back where someone just said put ‘Sorry, no siblings’ on the invitation. Nobody should therefore ask/leave siblings, zero awkwardness.

[Bushkin]

@InMySpareTime what except nurses/doctors/ emergency services/ hairdressers/beauticians/retail staff and hospitality staff?

[MynameisJune]

@InMySpareTime

And to reply to the poster without a spare car seat, one of the parents of the other party children would have a suitable car seat in their car already if you agree between you that one has both older siblings at the party and the other has both younger siblings elsewhere.

My 5 year old can’t fit in my two year olds car seat and vice versa, one is a HBB and the other is an erf seat with a harness. Jesus some people really just think that parents want to take their other children to a party because it’s a day out or something?

Also my 5 year old isn’t happy to stay without me, she doesn’t know the other parents well enough thanks to Covid.

[gogohm]

For drop off parties usually the organiser asks a couple of parents they are friendly with to stay and help or grandparents etc. We paid for the ta to come along in fact who had a side business as a children's entertainer. Far easier than dealing with siblings and feeding all those parents

[BFrazzled]

@Clymene dc's are not coming by themselves at age 4 so you kind of need to take parent into account. Are you for real?

[AnneElliott]

I can sort of see both sides. If you op are happy with drop and go then they're being cheeky. If yuu want the parent to stay and supervise then it's difficult with some mums, esp if they're a single parent.

But fine to ask in advance if they make it clear that they'll either pay the entrance fee or they're babies that won't want to join in!
Hard when they're toddlers and so t understand why they can't just join all the games etc.

There was a family at DSs school where in the end none of the kids got an invite (they're were 4 of them) as parents often turned up with all 4 (and sometimes left them all) and on one occasion with a couple of cousins!! Definite CFs which meant none of the kids were then invited.

[BFrazzled]

@Clymene

But yes if it's one they have to stay form they should make it fiesta that they're not expecting you to pay for, feed or give a party bag to their younger child.

There is always leftover party bag stuff anyway.

I just don't get it. If you are that tight on money so you are worried about a guest family receiving two of your party bags instead of one might be better to just do a smaller birthday party?

[LadyCleathStuart]

I personally don't understand why people feel they can't leave a 5yo at a party...

In our local church hall the children could be out of the door and onto a main road within seconds if they were so minded. There are usually 30 odd children at these parties with the parents and maybe 1/2 family helpers (who my child doesn't know). I wouldn't be confident leaving her in that situation at 5.

When she went to her friends party which was in her back garden with only 10 children and my DD knew the parents and grandparents who were helping out I was quite happy to leave her.

[Clymene]

[quote BFrazzled]@Clymene dc's are not coming by themselves at age 4 so you kind of need to take parent into account. Are you for real?[/quote]
Yes, I'm absolutely for real. what a weird question. All your posts are about how interesting the event is for the parent. It's not supposed to be about you, it's about your child and their friends. And while you might be bored shitless by the 5th bouncy castle in the church hall this term, 5 year olds aren't.

As a PP said, if you have a younger child you can't leave at home, you contact the host and say you're very sorry but you Kid A can't come without you bringing Kid B, totally understand if that is an issue. Thus giving host an out to politely say that they can't accommodate.

You don't just tell them you're bringing Kid B. Because that is rude

[tigerinyourtank]

I genuinely once had a parent tell me that their child couldn't come to my DC party unless I drove them there and back with an expectation that I would do just that (I didn't).

[tigerinyourtank]

Was an all class party in a local hall by the way not some mad outing out to somewhere in another county.

[BFrazzled]

@Clymene the whole op is about people politely asking if they can bring the sibling. In my book it is rude and stupid to answer "no" to this.

My 5 years old likes hanging out with a couple of his actual friends or even his family much more than jumping in a bouncy castle for the fifth time in a row and stuffing himself with a sugary cake (which he usually throws away after the first bite anyway). The reason he goes to the party is to make the birthday child happy (because he had a big party and all his friends came).
It is only fair that his toddler sibling should be able to tag along in case he hasn't anything else planned/other parent to stay home with him.

[GreyhoundG1rl]

[quote BFrazzled]@Clymene the whole op is about people politely asking if they can bring the sibling. In my book it is rude and stupid to answer "no" to this.

My 5 years old likes hanging out with a couple of his actual friends or even his family much more than jumping in a bouncy castle for the fifth time in a row and stuffing himself with a sugary cake (which he usually throws away after the first bite anyway). The reason he goes to the party is to make the birthday child happy (because he had a big party and all his friends came).
It is only fair that his toddler sibling should be able to tag along in case he hasn't anything else planned/other parent to stay home with him.[/quote]
Eh? Your child is doing the birthday child a favour by showing up, so his every whim should be catered to?
🤣🤣🤣
I'll bet he doesn't get many second invites.

[Clymene]

[quote BFrazzled]@Clymene the whole op is about people politely asking if they can bring the sibling. In my book it is rude and stupid to answer "no" to this.

My 5 years old likes hanging out with a couple of his actual friends or even his family much more than jumping in a bouncy castle for the fifth time in a row and stuffing himself with a sugary cake (which he usually throws away after the first bite anyway). The reason he goes to the party is to make the birthday child happy (because he had a big party and all his friends came).
It is only fair that his toddler sibling should be able to tag along in case he hasn't anything else planned/other parent to stay home with him.[/quote]
Well you've made him sound absolutely insufferable so I can't imagine the invitations will carry on after Christmas. Still, I'm sure he's got better things to do

[BFrazzled]

Well you've made him sound absolutely insufferable so I can't imagine the invitations will carry on after Christmas. Still, I'm sure he's got better things to do smile

@Clymene this was really unkind. I hope you feel a little bit ashamed of yourself for this comment. That and the hoarding of 1 pound worth party bags from the siblings of your birthday guests...you can do better.

[ItsSnowJokes]

[quote BFrazzled]@Clymene the whole op is about people politely asking if they can bring the sibling. In my book it is rude and stupid to answer "no" to this.

My 5 years old likes hanging out with a couple of his actual friends or even his family much more than jumping in a bouncy castle for the fifth time in a row and stuffing himself with a sugary cake (which he usually throws away after the first bite anyway). The reason he goes to the party is to make the birthday child happy (because he had a big party and all his friends came).
It is only fair that his toddler sibling should be able to tag along in case he hasn't anything else planned/other parent to stay home with him.[/quote]
So as you 5 year old has deigned his presence on the birthday child, it is only fair that your younger child should go along as well?!?!? Wow you all sound very entitled.

So if you were invited to a wedding you invite other people along with you as the bride and groom should be grateful that you have gone? Of course you wouldn't.

[LadyCleathStuart]

@BFrazzled your post is totally batshit crazy. Is your child such an asset to any party that the host should allow his sibling to come along just to ensure his attendance?

Perhaps you should allow him to stay at home with his 'actual' friends and his family and allow him to be happy instead of making him suffer through bouncy castles and cake. The poor thing.

[AspCommie]

It is only fair that his toddler sibling should be able to tag along in case he hasn't anything else planned

What?!