I’m turning into that parent over DDs name

[TheWrongSpelling]

My DDs name is Evelin*.

School, brownies and swimming all seem to manage to spell it wrong. We’ve had Evelyn, Evilyn, Evie, Eve, but never Evelin.

Her class teachers have admitted they have to “train” their brains to spell it right. She nearly had her badge book for rainbows and brownies written in the wrong spelling and school and swimming certificates come home with the wrong name on.

I email constantly (DD has some SN so it’s not just to do with her name) with the right spelling but nobody ever seems to get it, I think there’s been one none family member spell it right in all those years.

She’s 7 and starting to notice. I feel a right idiot correcting everyone all the time and like I’m making a thing out of it.

Oddly family always get it right even her great grandparents who have multiple great grandchildrens names to remember.

So am I that parent? And if so how can I stop being? I just want her name spelt right and her certificates in the right name.

*Not real name but very very similar.

And for context ExH chose her name not me, I asked if he wanted that spelling and he was certain he did.

If it's an unusual spelling you're going to always have that.

If someone consistently spells her name wrongly, start doing the same to them, repeating the same things they say, you can't train your brain to get their names right, etc, etc. I'll bet at least some of them will start to get it right.

It's just that if you choose a unique spelling for a bane people will tend to defer to the usual spelling. If it makes you feel any better dd has a traditionally spelt traditional name e.g. Molly and STILL every other person spells it Molli/Mollie/Molley/Mollee etc. It's annoying.

I think that if you choose a very usual spelling it's to be expected to be honest.

In fairness when you chose an unusual spelling for a name people will get it wrong
Over time teachers & nursery will spell it right by repetition & rote. Until a new staff member starts that is
Each year it’ll be the same old as the new staff misspell the name

It’s the peril of purposefully choosing different spelling I’m afraid

You decided on a "unique" spelling of a traditional name. Sadly this will be a lifelong issue for your daughter.

It's tough luck really. You agreed to an 'alternative' spelling. It will happen forever.

I have a forrin spelling of a name people know in the UK and it is very hit and miss on how much attention people pay to spell properly. I'm late 40s now. It still happens daily.

What can I do? Fuck all, other than correct people early on and hope they get it. Many times they don't and there comes a point when you can't be bothered to keep correcting them.

So yes you are being that mother.

Well you're not being unreasonable making sure it's spelt right first of all. So that's fine. If eg brownies or swimming certificates that should be checked so no excuse. If someone's met her for the first time that's different.
But yes it is the odd spelling for that name so you're going to have to get used to it

Always gonna happen, you decide to spell it differently and people can't compute.

As someone who’s name has several potential spellings and mine is the least common, I can say this will follow her throughout her life. It annoyed me so much I ended up reverting to a nickname (that has only one potential spelling) when I was about 25 and have gone by that ever since.

Ugh - whose not who’s

We have a similar issue. Although people concentrate on getting her first name correct.. and then spell her surname wrong!

@Joolsin

If someone consistently spells her name wrongly, start doing the same to them, repeating the same things they say, you can't train your brain to get their names right, etc, etc. I'll bet at least some of them will start to get it right.

Yeah. That won't work.

What on earth did you expect? 🙄

The other issue is that these days you can have 10 children or more with unique spellings or unusually pronounced names. Teach her to correct people. Teach her to say it’s Eve with L I N in the end.

The person doing certificates should check and get it right so I understand that it's annoying and potentially upsetting for DC.

Unfortunately one of the entirely predictable issues of people giving their children unique spellings for their names is that they are choosing to sign their child up to a lifetime of name/spelling issues.

That’s how it goes when you make up a spelling or go for an unusual one.

But surely unless there are 29 other children with uniquely spelled names in the class, the least these teachers or instructors could do is to learn the correct spelling for this one child? It’s called making an effort.

It’s a bit different with people you don’t see often or meet on a casual basis in work settings or whatever. I have an unusual name for every country but the one I come from. People who worked or study with me for more than a few months still managed to learn how to spell and say it. Sure, everywhere else it needs to be spelled out or repeated a few times. But. This girl’s teachers should be able to spell it right.

@drpet49

This is your own fault. What did you expect when you chose a stupid spelling of a traditional name. Tough luck.

Why is it stupid? Perhaps that spelling had a meaning to her dad, or reflects her heritage? Why the need to call it stupid?

Only on MN do you find people who can’t register not everyone is called Olivia or Samuel.

You are going to spend the next several years correcting the spelling and your child is going to take over for the rest of her life after that.

I have a complicated surname. I had to correct teachers as a child, all sorts of people as an adult, and DD’s teacher’s when she was young. She is old enough to take over he own battles now.

It's to be expected when parents want "unique" spellings for their children's names So not sure what you expected really? Unfortunately you'll just have to grit your teeth and ignore it when they spell it "wrong"

My name is uncommon, but not outlandish. It can end with ‘I’, ‘ie’ or ‘y’. Most people get it wrong, even when they can see I’ve written my name correctly. I long since stopped bothering.

It’s a bit different when you take a name that’s only known to be spelled one way and change it.

I don't think it's odd that family get it right, I think they'd be more invested than a helper at a club.

Teacher should be getting it right though, that's frustrating.

Unfortunately one of the entirely predictable issues of people giving their children unique spellings for their names is that they are choosing to sign their child up to a lifetime of name/spelling issues.

Agree with this and it always amazes me that people don't see it coming as it is such a predictable problem.

Yes teachers, guide leaders and others should check but at the end of the day they are all human and humans make mistakes. If the name is a unique spelling then naturally they will revert to the more common spelling as it will be what they are used to.

This is one of those situations that will inevitably happen for the rest of her life so whilst upsetting she really will have to get used to it being spelt incorrectly.