I’m turning into that parent over DDs name

[TheWrongSpelling]

My DDs name is Evelin*.

School, brownies and swimming all seem to manage to spell it wrong. We’ve had Evelyn, Evilyn, Evie, Eve, but never Evelin.

Her class teachers have admitted they have to “train” their brains to spell it right. She nearly had her badge book for rainbows and brownies written in the wrong spelling and school and swimming certificates come home with the wrong name on.

I email constantly (DD has some SN so it’s not just to do with her name) with the right spelling but nobody ever seems to get it, I think there’s been one none family member spell it right in all those years.

She’s 7 and starting to notice. I feel a right idiot correcting everyone all the time and like I’m making a thing out of it.

Oddly family always get it right even her great grandparents who have multiple great grandchildrens names to remember.

So am I that parent? And if so how can I stop being? I just want her name spelt right and her certificates in the right name.

*Not real name but very very similar.

And for context ExH chose her name not me, I asked if he wanted that spelling and he was certain he did.

No one spells either of my names right, they won't with your daughter. Best to just help her accept it and move on.

Hmm. You deliberately decided to have an unusual made up spelling to be different - and now you're getting annoyed that people can't spell it correctly?

I taught a kid called Chloee. Yes, that's right. 2 e's at the end. By age 8 she was frustrated as hell and told me if it was a stupid spelling. I quietly told her to start writing it as "Chloe" and then school would simply think her mother had misspelt it on the official forms.

If it helps at all I have a name that nobody can spell or pronounce .It's non English and I live in England (didn't grow up here). It's a pain in the arse having to spell and/or pronounce it to pretty much everyone I come across. However as a now 43 adult I have to say it really isn't a big deal. I have just learnt just to cope with the fact that nobody can spell or pronounce my name. Don't get offended, it's bloody annoying, but it's doesn't get to me.
What I mean is I can see how this is really annoying you right now but a. It's a bit late really and b. hopefully your daughter will grown up realising that although it's a pain it's really not the end of the world.
I certainly don't think I've ever missed out on anything because of my super annoying name.

Meant to say, I taught Mia, Mia (said differently), Mya, Mhea, Maya and Maya (also said differently). The Maya who said it My-ah used to get really annoyed when I sometimes said it May-ah. I taught about 300 students so it's not surprising.

If you chose to name your child with an incorrectly spelt name why does everyone else have to go along with it? This will happen all her life because people will assume a traditional name is spelt properly. Problem of your own making!

My sister cannot spell my sons name, people can’t pronounce it or understand why it’s spelt how it is. I don’t care tbh I just correct and move on. Son is 10 so sister still spells it with 2 e rather than a. Makes it a totally different name. He’d likely say though but hasn’t said if it annoys him.

The spelling is an Irish version of a name so not really uncommon. It’s just one of those things if you choose a made up or unusual spelling of a name

all you can do is correct it when it's wrong and teach dd to politely point out the error. Your principal problem is that it is a daft spelling of her name. You could also correct your ex's stupidity and pay to change the spelling to the more standard, correct spelling of Evelyn.

My name is quite common and can be spelled with or without an ‘e’. Most people assume the ‘wrong’ way for me or have to double check when writing cards etc. I really don’t expect everyone to remember which way is my way and don’t get irritated if the wrong spelling is used. When I was at school there were five of us with the same name in the same class - remembering which ones had or didn’t have an ‘e’ must have been a right pain for my teachers!

I have a 4-letter traditional English name, people still spell it wrong and it pisses me off. Your dd is going to REALLY resent having such a yuuneeq name by the time she hits high school with 20+ teachers getting it wrong every week.

I have a complicated (foreign) surname - people constantly get it wrong , even in a professional context. That's just how it goes. I don't let it bother me.

Don’t get worked up by it. Two of my DDs get it. I won’t tell you their names as very outing. One is a common name, just not popular with children, lots of famous and historical figures with the name but with a couple of different spellings and pronunciations, think along the lines of Sara or Sarah… my dd just corrects people or rolls her eyes. My other dd, not so common name, in England anyway, can definitely be spelt differently and hard to pronounce, she’s 7 and again will just correct people or tell people how it’s spelt when she gives her name. I’ve had some hilarious pronunciations and spellings from people.

I have shamed a few people though, especially teachers, a yr3 teacher who had my dd for 2 years not only spelt my DDs first name wrong but her surname on several books, I put a permanent marker through it and wrote the name correctly, the next day I walked my dd into class ( yr 3 was linked to the reception/yr1 class where I had another child and we were asked to walk children in, before anyone asks why I walked my yr3 child in) I handed her the folder (also with wrong name) and said I’ve corrected your spellings for you. I didn’t particularly like the teacher so it gave me far more pleasure than it should have. Another, a TA, I asked her one morning to spell my DDs name, when she asked why, I said go on, she laughed at me and said (under her breath) I fucking got it wrong again didn’t I. I’d known her a few years out of school so the swearing as fine, no one else was around.

As for swimming, the pools just use to give us blank certificates for us to fill in our DDs names ourselves.

I was a Kathryn and as it's the least common of the about 7 ways of spelling it, it was annoying having to always correct/spell it out.

They should make an effort to get your DD's name right in a professional/organizational role though, or on certificates etc. It seems really slack.

I had a weird surname for a while which was Elgyn. It was annoying once when someone called for me as Ms.Eglyn. I mean, how hard is it for them to read the letters in order?

Hey ho.

Is there anything it could be shortened to @TheWrongSpelling ?

If you pick a name with an unusual spelling, you just need to suck up the fact people will spell it wrong. You only have to live with it for a short time, she will live with it for the rest of her life! (I speak as one who is saddled with an unusual spelling)

The best thing to do is not pass on your anger and annoyance to your daughter. The only way I can deal with it is to remember there are bigge problems I have to deal with.

I am sorry but as someone who has a fairly unusual name, it's something she will have to live with and at one point resent you.

It took ages to come to term with my name and more than once I curesed my mum. The only blessing is, I am glad I am not a boy, her choice would have been even worse.

I named DD especially with the view that there is no way her name can be spelt incorrectly. Maybe boring but a lot easier. Saying that, she still hates her name and is calling herself somthing else socially.

It's a sophistication test OP. Your child will always be able to tell whether a person is thoughtful and decent.
*Some people are dyslexic though.
*And some of us get the wrong spellings off the register prepared by the dyslexic ones.

I'm usually a stickler for correct spellings eg if someone said they were called Rachel, I'd check if it was with an A if I was going to write it.
If someone said they wer called Evelyn, I wouldn't cos I know how to spell it. I have never come across anyone called Evelin.

Was this not something you thought about when naming your child? When we were naming our children a couple of names had more than one spelling, I went out my way to chose the one that most people would use. Its like giving your child a name and pronouncing it another way using the same spelling. There was someone in my form at school who did this, she constantly corrected people.

Her class teachers have admitted they have to “train” their brains to spell it right.

No, they have to "train" their brains to spell it wrong.

It will be an easier road for you and dd to accept the many variations she will get called and spelled.

And this is why you don’t give your child a “unique” name or spelling.

I agree with other posters, that you did choose an unusual spelling and therefore what did you expect really?! However, both my mum and I have regularly spelt names and other people still address us with different variants of our names (eg Gayle instead of Gail, Anne instead of Ann). So I do understand that it's irritating, but in the grand scheme of things it's not the end of the world and it happens to other people all the time, even if the have very regular spelt names.

I am really aware of how rude it.is to spell name wrong, but I still do it regularly

I try not to, but the brain in on autopilot a lot, which will happen even more if the "correct" spelling of the name is actually wrong!

I'd be tempted to change it to the correct spelling.

It's your fault. You chose to have a unusual spelling so that's what happens.

I have an unusual name and people tell me the bank have spelt my name wrong (because it looks slightly different to a common name). I'm 54!!

This isn't going to end. For your own sanity, don't worry, unless it's of importance like a medical, job, official or exam record.