I’m turning into that parent over DDs name

[TheWrongSpelling]

My DDs name is Evelin*.

School, brownies and swimming all seem to manage to spell it wrong. We’ve had Evelyn, Evilyn, Evie, Eve, but never Evelin.

Her class teachers have admitted they have to “train” their brains to spell it right. She nearly had her badge book for rainbows and brownies written in the wrong spelling and school and swimming certificates come home with the wrong name on.

I email constantly (DD has some SN so it’s not just to do with her name) with the right spelling but nobody ever seems to get it, I think there’s been one none family member spell it right in all those years.

She’s 7 and starting to notice. I feel a right idiot correcting everyone all the time and like I’m making a thing out of it.

Oddly family always get it right even her great grandparents who have multiple great grandchildrens names to remember.

So am I that parent? And if so how can I stop being? I just want her name spelt right and her certificates in the right name.

*Not real name but very very similar.

And for context ExH chose her name not me, I asked if he wanted that spelling and he was certain he did.

I have an unusual spelling and get every name variation under the sun apart from my actual name, even family spell it wrong. It happens everyday, even with clients etc at work, my email is my name and they still get it wrong 😂 unfortunately it’s going to be a life long problem, I’m used to it now 😁

@DartmoorChef

You decided on a "unique" spelling of a traditional name. Sadly this will be a lifelong issue for your daughter.

Sorry but it's this. How would you feel if inside of a coffee -it was suddenly a 'coughy -and you had to spell it 'right' in every email, text, letter.

I have gone my entire life with people spelling my name incorrectly, it is spelt the Hebrew way with one letter added but it is very uncommon to see it spelt this way. I remember in school once I was told that I had spelt my name wrong, I told the teacher countless times that was how my name was spelt but she insisted I was incorrect. It was year 7, like I didn't know how to spell my own name at 11 years old! I go by the shortned version of my name mostly, I cannot be bothered spelling it out correctly to people. It has never really bothered me, but I know it drove my mum crazy when I was a child. I do think that teachers and other professionals should learn the correct spelling though, especially as there are many names that have different spelling variations now.

I have a name that is better known now than when I was a child, and only one letter different to a far more common name. I was always called that name by accident and I corrected people. That stopped happening when I left school.

My surname was never an issue. Changed it on marrying to something non-weird but that also happens to be a man's first name. I now get a fair few emails addressed to 'Man's First Name'. Ah well.

OP, I don't say this lightly but I think the best course is to change your daughter's name legally to the most usual spelling. If ExH has PR then you will need to talk him round.

Lindsay
Lindsey
Lyndsay
Lyndsey
Lindsy
Lynsey
Linzi

… has to be the women’s name with most spellings even though pronunciation is the same. I know a few and I nearly always have to double check.

As for the OPs issue, I think the daughter will always have to correct it. My surname has an extra letter to normal, but now I only bother correcting if it’s important (eg email address or bank stuff)

I have a name that is always spelled incorrectly - it’s a common name but spelled differently because my mum isn’t British, it’s spelled as the name is spelled in her native language. You get used to it, it’s really not a big deal. I don’t even correct people if they spell it wrong unless it’s for something important. You better get used to it because you’ve made that choice be creative with the spelling (in the most dull way possible) you just have to deal with it. You can’t blame others for getting it wrong from time to time.

Clymene
In my experience the people who make the biggest drama out of name mistakes tend to be parents who have chosen to make up their own spellings or take/adapt versions of names from cultures other than their own. It sometimes comes across like they thrive on having something that makes them/their DC unique.

The people who have a Stephen/Steven name or have a name that is from one of their parent's heritage but sounds similar to a common UK name seem to manage to remind about the spelling and don't turn it into a drama.

The teachers at OP's child school should check and use the correct spelling, but people making mistakes when parents choose unique spellings is a fairly obvious risk when naming a child.

I run a brownies group. I’m a volunteer - I’m pretty good as a brownie leader, I spend time organising fun activities, we go out a lot, they really enjoy it.
I would not appreciate Mrs Smith pointing out that I had spelt Anyleeise’s name incorrectly.

Just use a normal spelling and it won’t annoy you.

You have to accept it. I named my daughter Zahra, the spelling to reflect her cultural heritage. I knew we would always have problems with spellings, we get the h in all kinds of places. Zahra is 13 now, we had a conversation about it and I said we knew we would always have problems and would she have preferred we went with Zara, and she said no she is glad to have the spelling she does

Quite honestly you are selfish, I have a first name that folk get wrong, a middle name I dislike, and often spelt wrong.
You should have thought about this before.
When I was about seven I said to my mum, why did you give me a name every one gets wrong

Oddly enough, there are times when a teacher doesn't have a register to hand. In fact in many schools they don't exist other than on a computer somewhere, which a teacher won't have in their line of sight at all times.

I don't think school certificates are printed somewhere without access to a register.

The OP is selfish how? Wanting her DD's main teacher or school secretary to answer emails and print off diplomas with the correct name?

You've chosen a unique spelling for a long established name. Get used to it.

People need to be reminded. I don’t agree that parents are at fault or wacky for choosing different spellings. You can have Katy/Katie or Clare/Claire or Jill/Gill etc - all perfectly conventional but I’m sure will be misspelled.

Alot of names have different spelling. And some names get pronounced wrong to.

My sons name will get pronounced wrong I'm sure. It's just something you have to accept with choosing a unique name. Heck my last name is 5 letters long and very simple and people still get it wrong.

I volunteer at a place with children and we get children with all ethnic backgrounds and unique spellings. I also get it where I work as well and have to check spellings.

Claire Clare Clair
Suzanna Susana susannah
Lynda Linda
Sarah Sara
Katherine Cathrine Kathryn
Caitlin Katelyn catlynn
Caoimhe Keeva

Above is my daughters and my name I personally don’t care how my name is spelt but I’d prefer certificates and anything important for my daughter is spelt correctly but volunteers who may have limited education/ experience are always forgiven as they are volunteers

This is precisely why my children were given classic names with no alternative spellings.

I had a great aunt Evie (Evelyn) correct spelling. I'm not quite sure what you expected tbh.

I have a very unusual first name (Cressida, Hermione genre). I get a frisson of excitement telling the baristas in Starbucks my name is Anna and sometimes they get that wrong. Still wish mother had called me Susan.

People have been misspelling my name for YEARS and it's not an unusual name or an unusual spelling.

Don't worry about it, it happens to loads of people

Btw I love the spelling you've chosen, it's very pretty

They aren’t spelling it wrong, you’ve spelt a well known name differently.
Your DD will have this for life.

@underneaththeash

I run a brownies group. I’m a volunteer - I’m pretty good as a brownie leader, I spend time organising fun activities, we go out a lot, they really enjoy it. I would not appreciate Mrs Smith pointing out that I had spelt Anyleeise’s name incorrectly.

Just use a normal spelling and it won’t annoy you.

You wouldn't appreciate it? Even though you're the one showing you can't be bothered to spell a child's name correctly? You're the one in the wrong in that scenario.

My whole name is French ('cause I'm half French) and no one gets my surname right, in either spelling or pronunciation. I'm 53 and it still pisses me off whenever it happens. Everyone shortens my first name...and I hate the shortened version. I've been telling the people closest to me that for decades...they still do it.

Personally in your case I'd just start calling her Eve. That a hard one for anyone to fuck up.

When you teach over a hundred kids a week, and they include Amy, Aimee, Aymie, Aimiee, Amieie (all real examples), half a dozen Catherines (or Kathrynne, or ...), etc etc, some of who like their names shortened, some don't and so on, you'll make slip ups. Always easier to remember Evelyn who spells her name as you've always known it.

It's always going to happen.

This is exactly why DH insisted on 'no names that the kid has to spell out to the teacher.'

You cannot be cross with everyone else because you decided to be a little bit 'alternative'.

My name is not very common but I have the usual UK spelling. A famous person with the name spells it differently and I often get that version. I don't really mind tbh tho obviously on a certificate it would be annoying.

Sometimes people misspell it when replying to a signed email which is a bit 🤷‍♀️

I was taking children's names at an event the other day, one says her name was Esme. Oh yes, E-S-M-E I asked. No, she said, E-Z-M-A-I. I thought then, well you'll be doing that a lot.

I'm afraid it's just one of those things if you have a name which can be spelt in different ways. Even more so when you have a more unusual version.

My name is a very standard 1970s name. However, it can be spelt in 3 ways. I think my version is the most common, but I still get all three regularly. At work when I log into my computer is is spelt one way; my hospital records have it spelt another - neither are my version. I've given up trying to get either corrected. I'm nearing 50.I really can't get worked up about it. I don't remember anyone getting stressed about it particularly when I was younger.

Dd has a pretty traditional name. Again more than one spelling, mainly y or ie ending. The y ending is used more commonly. We use the ie spelling - still been used regularly for over 100 years. She gets both spellings - she's 19y now so she's totally used to it.

Tbh it's much easier to not let it wind you up. Correct where it's important - on school books/peg labels, formal documents, in official places, etc. Remind people every so often, if they are close/important to you and should know better. Otherwise - relax about it. It's not the end of the world.