I’m turning into that parent over DDs name

[TheWrongSpelling]

My DDs name is Evelin*.

School, brownies and swimming all seem to manage to spell it wrong. We’ve had Evelyn, Evilyn, Evie, Eve, but never Evelin.

Her class teachers have admitted they have to “train” their brains to spell it right. She nearly had her badge book for rainbows and brownies written in the wrong spelling and school and swimming certificates come home with the wrong name on.

I email constantly (DD has some SN so it’s not just to do with her name) with the right spelling but nobody ever seems to get it, I think there’s been one none family member spell it right in all those years.

She’s 7 and starting to notice. I feel a right idiot correcting everyone all the time and like I’m making a thing out of it.

Oddly family always get it right even her great grandparents who have multiple great grandchildrens names to remember.

So am I that parent? And if so how can I stop being? I just want her name spelt right and her certificates in the right name.

*Not real name but very very similar.

And for context ExH chose her name not me, I asked if he wanted that spelling and he was certain he did.

It's just not a name. It's a name spelt wrong. Stupid. Just spell it properly and no one will make the mistake.

For starters we don't even know what the name is. But even Evelin is definitely a name. Most common spelling of Evelyn where I come from. You know not everyone in the UK (or wherever the OP lives) is White British with White British parents and White British ancestors called Tom and Mary, don't you?

Ffs it doesn't sound like the name is Ehvehlyijn, and the OP doesn't expect her neighbours who send Christmas cards once a year to spell it right. Teachers the child spends 6+ hours a day with, should be a little more careful.

Well, I have a common name with "ae" in the middle, and I can't tell you how many times people misspell it by swapping them into "ea". It's just one of those things. If it bothers her, she can start correcting them herself, too. It's annoying, but just part of life, especially with an unusual or unusually spelt name.

Should have spelt it properly then!

My name is VERY normal and only has one spelling and still at my graduation my principal managed to get BOTH my first name AND surname wrong!

Polmuggle
Because the OP said their ex chose the spelling and they checked with the ex that the ex wanted this particular spelling, and in the examples above the spelling is not a common variation of a name.

Schools and Brownies should check and put the correct spelling on certificates and it's not unreasonable to expect someone to check, however it is unreasonable to give a child an unusual spelling of a name and then be irritated that there's regular issues.

What's a "none family member"?

She'll deal with it for the rest of her life.

I worked with a woman once who had a made-up name, and even worse, her parents were fans of another language - not enough to learn it, of course - so her name was spelled to 'look like' this language, and then pronounced entirely unintuitively. Imagine they liked Polish, so called her Pzemie, and claimed it was pronounced Emma.

She said most people in her life didn't even attempt to pronounce it, and those that did gave such varied results she said she "felt like she didn't really have a name at all."

Should think of that before dooming your child to a life of "Oh, er... um. You. You over there."

Have the same problem. I named my daughter Leahmarie* and no one ever gets it right. Mostly they break it into two names:
Leah Marie
Lea Marie
Leamarie
Leamari
Leann Marie
All her certificates were wrong. I even went to the school and double checked her high school diploma so it would be right. (They had time to redo it, because it was wrong.)
*not her real name.

@TheWrongSpelling

My DDs name is Evelin*.

School, brownies and swimming all seem to manage to spell it wrong. We’ve had Evelyn, Evilyn, Evie, Eve, but never Evelin.

Her class teachers have admitted they have to “train” their brains to spell it right. She nearly had her badge book for rainbows and brownies written in the wrong spelling and school and swimming certificates come home with the wrong name on.

I email constantly (DD has some SN so it’s not just to do with her name) with the right spelling but nobody ever seems to get it, I think there’s been one none family member spell it right in all those years.

She’s 7 and starting to notice. I feel a right idiot correcting everyone all the time and like I’m making a thing out of it.

Oddly family always get it right even her great grandparents who have multiple great grandchildrens names to remember.

So am I that parent? And if so how can I stop being? I just want her name spelt right and her certificates in the right name.

*Not real name but very very similar.

And for context ExH chose her name not me, I asked if he wanted that spelling and he was certain he did.

I think this is ignorance on the teacher etc part. It's the most basic of information to get right abs I think not making any effort to use the correct spelling is unprofessional and also unkind toward a little girl who will be feeling awkward and hurt by this. I would say to them that you feel it's causing an issue and ask them to take more care. I used to work in a nursery where 'Connor' was always given letters for 'conor' and his dad eventually started highlighting the error and sending the letters back in which sorted the issue

DS has the standard spelling of his name. The number of times people spell it with an alternative version is ridiculous.

Lots of people have become quite lazy as they rely on spelling and grammar checkers and don’t seem to care if they spell someone’s name incorrectly.

We have a diverse population with lots of ‘foreign’ names so it isn’t good enough to blame it on the child not having a traditional English name. What you might class as a silly name may be culturally correct elsewhere.

I certainly wouldn’t accept errors on certificates and award documents and I’d challenge them to correct their mistake every time.

I have a name with a traditional English spelling and my spelling which is not English but traditional to my culture.

I've shortened it. Now I get asked how to spell the very bog standard shortened English version.

I've had passports and driving licenses and court documents all spelled wrong. It's a PITA.

You should have insisted on a standard spelling if you didn't want to be 'that mum'.

I have an unusual spelling that slightly changes the pronunciation. If I correct people I'm seen as a nasty bitch so I spend my days quietly seething and culturing an ulcer every time my name is pronounced with an ine instead of yn.

Thing is to a lot of people the way they are spelling it is the right spelling and you have used the incorrect spelling of the name on her birth certificate. So they are having to learn to spell her name wrong because you have.

Your choice of course, but I think that’s why it’s happening. I used to have a very old aunt who was a school teacher - she was extremely judgemental in her views and didn’t understand that people actually chose a different spelling for their child’s name, she thought the parents were illiterate and couldn’t actually spell the name they had chosen for their child so their child had to bare the brunt through the rest of their life!

Those views are a dying breed now I’m sure!

I think it is so rude that so many people in your DD's life can't be bothered to learn how to spell her name. It's inexcusable and unprofessional.

It doesn't matter whether it's a different spelling or not. Her name is her name and people should take the time to spell it correctly. If we were talking about a child with an Indian name would it be acceptable to spell it incorrectly because it's unfamiliar to these adults? No! So why is this child's name any different?

@NigellaSeed

I'd understand people getting it wrong the first time, or distant aquaintainces (spell argh!) Like nDN getting it wrong, but friends and the school should be putting in the effort to get it right, it's lazy and disrespectful

Lazy and disrespectful? A secondary school can have well over a hundred pupils over the week. You get some highly original spellings. which are,frankly illiterate seeming, then there are the Polish nanea

It's totally foreseeable if you use a non-standard spelling though.

So the Polish kids have less rights to a correctly-spelled school certificate, simply because of the country they or their parents were born in? Really? Are you one of those people who says 'I'm not racist, BUT...'?

I don't have sympathy for people who adopt their own spelling of familiar names and then complain that nobody can remember how to spell it. What did you expect?

My name is spelled and pronounced wrong since I can remember. It is the right spelling for the name where it originated from and is a family name.

It has never bothered me in the slightest that it gets pronounced and spelled wrong all the time.

I really could not worked up about it, not worth my time.

I can understand how you feel.
My little boy's name is constantly misspelled.
It's only 3 letters, but the last 2 are constantly switched around to spell a completely different name.

@CuckooCall

I think it is so rude that so many people in your DD's life can't be bothered to learn how to spell her name. It's inexcusable and unprofessional.

It doesn't matter whether it's a different spelling or not. Her name is her name and people should take the time to spell it correctly. If we were talking about a child with an Indian name would it be acceptable to spell it incorrectly because it's unfamiliar to these adults? No! So why is this child's name any different?

But if you deliberately misspell a word - and it doesn't matter if it's a name or any other word - people are going to get it wrong. Because busy people are working by rote a lot of the time.

Honestly I think it's rude to expect volunteers and teachers and people with tons of other kids to worry about remember that although your child is called Maria, her name is spelled Maareeeah.

It's boring and self indulgent. And your kid is going to curse you forever

Sorry pressed post by mistake.
Polish names - they are amazing. And Nigerian ones are too . It's a lot to master.

I have an Irish name, so I am used to having it spelled incorrectly. In fact when people do spell it correctly I’m taken a back. Loving the Evil-yn spelling though

I have a very common name that's spelt differently, I hate it and wish it was just spelt the normal way..the amount if times I have to correct it or the way its pronounced annoys the hell out of me.