I’m turning into that parent over DDs name

[TheWrongSpelling]

My DDs name is Evelin*.

School, brownies and swimming all seem to manage to spell it wrong. We’ve had Evelyn, Evilyn, Evie, Eve, but never Evelin.

Her class teachers have admitted they have to “train” their brains to spell it right. She nearly had her badge book for rainbows and brownies written in the wrong spelling and school and swimming certificates come home with the wrong name on.

I email constantly (DD has some SN so it’s not just to do with her name) with the right spelling but nobody ever seems to get it, I think there’s been one none family member spell it right in all those years.

She’s 7 and starting to notice. I feel a right idiot correcting everyone all the time and like I’m making a thing out of it.

Oddly family always get it right even her great grandparents who have multiple great grandchildrens names to remember.

So am I that parent? And if so how can I stop being? I just want her name spelt right and her certificates in the right name.

*Not real name but very very similar.

And for context ExH chose her name not me, I asked if he wanted that spelling and he was certain he did.

*just seen that your ex chose the spelling, fair enough you didn't choose it personally but I guess you chose it as a pair so it's still your responsibility. It's just one of those things you and your Dd will have to deal with.

@bigbeachedwales

It's cos it's not a name.

How would you know that?

People constantly spell my name wrong. I genuinely don’t care as it’s not their fault my parents gave me a name with a weird spelling 😁

It was inevitable if you chose a spelling variant of the norm. Is there a reason why? If so explaining that to people may make the variant stick in their minds more

It's just not a name. It's a name spelt wrong. Stupid. Just spell it properly and no one will make the mistake.

I don't agree that it's to be expected regularly. I could understand if you gave her name verbally and then someone wrote it with a different (more common) spelling. But for anyone who has seen the name written down and then spells it wrong, it's just plain laziness and rude.
Rather than mention casually I would ask to speak more seriously to the person in charge of brownies, teacher at school, whoever, explain that your dd's name is part of her identity and you want to make sure everyone understands how important it is and takes care to get it right.

Honestly it will continue to happen so you have to learn to not let it bother you. I have a name that has 2 spellings, think Claire and Clare (thats not it though). I will email people and sign the email off Kind Regards, Claire and they will respond Hi Clare...
The name is literally right there for them to copy and they still get it wrong. Best to just not let it bother you or you will spend a lifetime being annoyed.

Wow, what a lot of needless blame being piled onto the OP here. This child is only 7 years old and her own school can’t be arsed to spell her name properly!?! In what way is that the OP’s fault? It is disrespectful and damaging and I would be taking it very seriously - if the school can’t even be bothered to learn how to spell a child’s name, what else can they not be bothered with? OP, the name is not the problem here, it’s lazy and piss poor educational professionals. You wouldn’t stand for it if someone in your workplace repeatedly refused to spell your name properly, so don’t stand for it with your little one, it’ll make her think she doesn’t matter

You should have just used the traditional spelling, you’ve set her up for a lifetime of this!

I'm a teacher. I'm shocked at how many people on this thread thinks it's ok to misspell. If you're teaching children in your class , you learn to spell their name correctly. It's just disrespectful of the child otherwise if you can't be bothered to spell their name.

My name gets spelled incorrectly constantly, especially when I've signed an email or something and the reply then is to how they think it's spelled.

It's just basic respect and manners to make the effort.

@makelovenotpetrol

I'm a teacher. I'm shocked at how many people on this thread thinks it's ok to misspell. If you're teaching children in your class , you learn to spell their name correctly. It's just disrespectful of the child otherwise if you can't be bothered to spell their name.

My name gets spelled incorrectly constantly, especially when I've signed an email or something and the reply then is to how they think it's spelled.

It's just basic respect and manners to make the effort.

My name gets spelled incorrectly constantly... **And it really bugs me.

Is what I had meant to write!

I have a very common name that can be spelt three ways. Most get it wrong at least once. Sometimes they get my surname wrong as an added bonus . I don't bother to correct them unless it's on something official.

Why has everyone decided the OP has given her daughter the unusual/stupid/odd spelling?

She said very clearly that isn't the name. You have no idea what the spelling is!

I disagree with 90% of these comments. How hard is it to check someone’s name and spell it right?! I work in a school and would be mortified and apologetic to misspell one of my students’ names. Many names have different spellings. It’s just basic respect to at least attempt the right one. Same goes for pronunciation.

Why did you spell in funny in the first place? How could you not know that was going to happen? Can you change it on her birth certificate or is it too late?

I can't believe how many people are saying 'what do you expect'
My name is a very traditional name that can be spelt different ways- people still spell it the another way, even when I sign my name the way I spell it! I always have to tell people which way to spell it, to stop people making assumptions. It happens, it's annoying that people don't make the effort to address me using my correct name. It feels rude.
Just keep taking a deep breath and correcting people OP

I have a traditional name with an uncommon spelling. My whole life people have spelled it wrong. It doesn't bother me but maybe it did when I was a child I dont remember.

Now when someone asks my name I always spell it out afterwards. Same with my surname which is also common but said in my accent sounds like another name completley.

It's really not a big deal.

@SummerHouse

Does it really matter? It doesn't to me. I have an unusual spelling of my name. The only time I would correct someone is if I had to e.g. they are taking my email or drawing up a legal document. I get emails all the time with the wrong spelling. I don't notice often until someone comes back to apologise. I get birthday cards from relatives with the wrong spelling. I just find that amusing. Why not go with a relaxed attitude and let DD take it in her stride. It's ok for people to spell her name wrong. She knows who she is.

You're very chilled. I get really cross at emails in particular . . . It's literally there right in front of them spelt correctly. (Although mine is a non English name so there's a potential xenophobia angle which is probably what winds me up).

I couldn't get too cross at e.g..Brownie leaders (who are volunteers) but I would keep on at the school to get it right.

I have a Lily

I really don't think it's ok for friends, family and school to consistently get a spelling wrong. It's lazy and rude.

Ok, you'll get the odd mistake but not all the time.

My friend's adult daughter has a name which can be spelled 2 ways, I guess hers is the less common way but not really unusual.

So, say it was Isobel v Isabelle. My friend will tag her daughter in the post with her name right there and people will still get it wrong!

It makes me mad on their behalf.

People can't even get my name right. I get the male version all the time (and it's obvious, think Samuel/Samantha, and a common surname like Smith)
So I'm Samantha smith and I get shouted at the hospital "Samuel Smithy?"
Er. No? Not me
To the point I've toyed with changing my first name but it is seriously easy and I couldn't think of anything more simple

If you spell a name incorrectly then you are in no position to complain if others can't remember your unique version.

Poor kid doomed to a lifetime of spelling it for others and having to explain why it isn't spelt properly.

Honestly it's just rude and disrespectful! Having a unique spelling doesn't mean you should have to deal with people, especially adults, not bothering to learn and remember how to spell it. And honestly fuck anyone who says 'what did you expect ' erm you expected grown ups to show your daughter the bare minimum decency of getting her name right.

Well it’s spelt Evelyn so….

To be fair to you @TheWrongSpelling, even if you had spelled her name in the conventional way, plenty people would still be spelling it incorrectly. Some people are bad at spelling but try hard and check. But a lot just don't care enough to check before they send or print.

I don't think you can do much long term, it's always going to happen. Maybe you can help your DD develop a more nonchalant, phlegmatic attitude towards it, so she's not that bothered when it inevitably happens?