Turns out, nothing bad happens if...

[HangingOver]

When I arrived into my thirties, like a lot of women I know, I experienced a dip in the amount of energy I found I had to allocate to fucks being given

Since then, I've noticed a number of Eureka moments when Ive realised, "turns out, nothing bad happens if..." and they are for the most part, joyful.

Here are a few of my favourites (personal to me, obviously, I'm sure people in other circs will disagree):

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't iron.

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't mow your lawn (literally or figuratively).

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't wear a padded bra (because I spent my twenties sadly trying to enhance my non-existent norks because "men would notice").

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you wash your hair with shower gel.

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't do a patch test 24 hours before colouring.

HBU?

Nothing bas happens if your house gets a but dirty

Ironing, nope nothing bad happens for lack of it

Ditto not changing bed sheets weekly

@TweeterandtheMonkeyman

Oh and yes to shower gel as shampoo, and indeed shampoo as shower gel - my dad working in manufacturing for the beauty industry and he assured me it’s all basically the same shit with different perfume added

My mum used to say that it’s all just washing up liquid !

… if other people see that you grow hair from your armpits.

… if you leave people to sort out their own issues rather than speaking up on the phone / answering the email to say “Oh don’t worry I’ll just…”. Someone Else’s Problem is a thing.

… if your kid watches a bit more TV while you hide in the kitchen with a coffee/biscuit.

… if you raise your voice (within reason) to your children. Yes you can explain for the 20th time that we don’t put Lego up our noses or you can say “No! I’ve told you why we don’t do that. No!” and be done.

[Whispers] in an emergency, fabric conditioner works as hair conditioner

This is excellent news.

@Iamstuckhere

Nothing bad happened when I ate a raw chicken dipper (I thought it was a cold cooked one)

Nothing bad happens and No one cares what you look like on the beach in your bikini (expect you)

Nothing bad happens and No one cares what you look like anyway. Full stop.

Nothing bad happens when you breastfeed a toddler in public

Nothing bad happens if you don’t shave your legs

Nothing bad happens if you text back immediately

Oh NO!!

Did you eat the whole chicken dipper?! 🤢😆

Nothing bad happens if you stop wearing make up for work, in fact it's freeing!

WFH was wonderful for my skin, now I'm back in the office I've decided to bin the makeup.

Nothing bad happens if you'd rather stay in than go out, again WFH has made me a home body and I can't see anything wrong with that. I will make an effort at work but my free time is just that MY free time

I know it’s been said already but please do a patch test! My Mum always ignores advice and sadly ended up in hospital after a massive allergic reaction to her normal hair colour.
Thankfully she survived but now has to endure grey hair and my smug “I told you so” How the tables turned!

Am loving your thread @HangingOver

Nothing bad happens if you pay someone to clean your ovens and MIL arrives unexpectedly just as they are finishing up.

OP this is honestly the best thread I've ever read on MN. Also I really needed it today so thank you
Recently stopped ironing except school uniform.
Nothing bad happens if you don't send Christmas cards I've found

Nothing bad happens from wearing mismatched earrings or socks or anything else.
Nothing bad happens if you do cut your own hair very short.
Nothing bad happens if you decide to stay at home for your break from work.
Nothing bad happens if you don’t clean your car every week and just do it when it’s not quite ‘eww’. (Number plates, lights and windscreeens being the exception)

LOVE this thread. I'm 50 next year and certainly my 40's have made me be far more relaxed about certain things

Mine are :

NBH if

You don't wash dishes every day (it's just me here and sometimes all I've used is a side plate and a mug!)

You don't iron - I stopped when dd left school and at this point don't even possess an ironing board, I've recently bought an iron but it's for my renewed hobby of cross stitching

You don't answer the door if you're not expecting anyone - I've had some issues with this due to arsehole neighbours getting drunk and locking themselves out/being too pissed to operate the close door! Now I ignore and occasionally even turn the buzzer off altogether

If you start a tv show/film either live or streaming and if you're not enjoying it turn it off! Took me waaaay too long to get wise to that one!

If I don't change the bedding weekly (this is a big one for me as I have ocd and a mother who would be horrified if she knew! I am also disabled and changing the bed is bloody hard work and hurts! So it's done prob every fortnight and maybe a few days later if I'm having a bad day pain wise the day I planned to change it)

If I cut my own hair - started this to save money, now much prefer doing it myself as hairdressers always cut off too much! This leads on to...

If you have long hair after the age of 40! Contrary to my mother's opinion that it's "unseemly" she almost has a fit if she knows people have seen me with it in plaits! Which are a very practical way to wear hair in my opinion

If you don't wear heels! I have been unable to wear heels for several years now as I'm too unsteady on my feet. In my 20's I would have found that quite odd to go to say a meal out without wearing heels.

@BarbaraofSeville during lockdown 1 the frugal foodies threads on here got me to be much more confident/relaxed on using certain items past the expiry date and can indeed confirm no disasters so far this is very much part of my ocd

I've realised the life changing magic of realising things don't have to be perfect.

I genuinely struggle with this

The make up one has been an ongoing battle in the past with dd who at one point wouldn't come out her bedroom without a "full face" on she is now 20 and even occasionally goes outside without make up on! Never would have believed she'd get to that point even a few years ago.

(Well, they might get upset and offended and stop talking to you... But that's a win win right there...)

I'll add NBH if you decide to go nc with someone who adds zero positivity to your life, often makes you upset/miserable and makes your life generally much more difficult. I went nc with sister some years ago for a number of reasons and my life is much easier, much calmer as a result

On a related note nothing bad happens if you happen to weigh a few pounds more at 40 than you did aged 25.

A few more pounds I'll accept but I'll also say as someone currently battling to lose weight it's a lot easier to get that few lbs in check than it is when those few lbs turn into stones! Plus there are of course the health ramifications of weight gain both short and long term, and even financial from having to buy bigger clothes

Nothing bad happens if you are overweight and wear a bikini on the beach

Nothing bad happens if you are overweight and wear a cropped t-shirt

Nothing bad happens if you are in your forties and wear clothes that are "too young" for you (ugh)

Nothing bad happens if you eat a piece of cake once in a while

Sorry mine are all appearance based but it's taken me a long road to get to a place where I feel confident in my own body! (And clothes)

NBH if you say "no" to men,although I can still hear the gasps of horror and shame.

And NBH if you decide to keep your dreads after you hit 60.

I wonder if SBWH if I've now outed myself? 🤷🏼‍♀️

These are all very cheering.
I’m currently working on NBH if you throw stuff away (or charity shop etc) instead of keeping it ‘just in case’. I THINK this is true but I can’t feel it yet… I’ll get there.

Nothing bad happens if you say ‘No’

Nothing bad happens if you don't do a 24 hour patch test.
Apart from possibly die from anaphylaxic shock
Highly dangerous

Nothing bad happens if you don't hover the minute a crumb hits the carpet.

Nothing bad happens if you decide to leave the washing up for an hour, 4 hours or even overnight.

Nothing bad happens if you don't cook and just eat whatever for the evening.

@MrsWooster throwing stuff away

I started packing stuff away, then a year, later when I hadn't missed anything, found it was a lot easier to throw the whole box out.

It started when I was packing up to move house, having lived there for ten years. In the attic I found several boxes of stuff. I just knew that if I opened the boxes, they would be full of treasures.

Having managed without them for nearly ten years, I threw the boxes out unopened.

The delay is now down to a week or so.

@Resilience

I don't understand the patch test. misses point of thread

It says it's important to do because you can develop an allergy at any point despite having previously used it before. Understood. But surely you could develop it in the 48hrs between the test and application?

Also, the instructions say not to keep the solutions once they're opened. I've been using Nice'n'Easy for over 20 years and never done a patch test. Living life on the edge.

Nbh if you eat a MacDonald’s occasionally. Or eat an entire co op cake for a meal once a year - because you just want to.

I can confirm nbh if you don’t wear makeup - never have worn it and unlikely ever to start!

Nbh if you decide to try something different and decide you don’t actually like it. Eg try a new food or a new hobby. At least you tied and can give an honest opinion.
But also nbh if you don’t try something new.!

Nothing bad happens if you stop stressing about getting thoughtful/perfect gifts for members of your extended family every birthday/christmas and just buy the first thing you see that seems passable and within budget. Equally, nothing bad happens if you stop buying presents altogether for some people even when you've always got them something.

Nothing bad happens if you don't buy whatever this year's popular but unnecessary Christmas fad is (elf on the shelf/Xmas eve boxes/family matching pyjamas etc)

Nbh if you occasionally go to your favourite cafe and, instead of having a £1 Americano, have a £5 cooked breakfast.... that comes with an Americano.

Nbh if you're not at the school gates 15 minutes early, they don't even open till half past.

Apart from the hair washing with shower gel I agree