Turns out, nothing bad happens if...

[HangingOver]

When I arrived into my thirties, like a lot of women I know, I experienced a dip in the amount of energy I found I had to allocate to fucks being given

Since then, I've noticed a number of Eureka moments when Ive realised, "turns out, nothing bad happens if..." and they are for the most part, joyful.

Here are a few of my favourites (personal to me, obviously, I'm sure people in other circs will disagree):

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't iron.

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't mow your lawn (literally or figuratively).

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't wear a padded bra (because I spent my twenties sadly trying to enhance my non-existent norks because "men would notice").

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you wash your hair with shower gel.

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't do a patch test 24 hours before colouring.

HBU?

I’m all for not giving a fuck but please do the patch test.

A few years ago my hairdresser (who obvs deals with hair dye all the time!) ended in intensive care after her face and airways swelled after not doing a patch test

100% agree with not ironing, and giving up on bad books is so liberating, I regularly encourage others to put down a book they don't like but they all refuse.
Nothing bad happens if you don't answer the door to people you don't know (although don't ignore a police officer etc). Nothing bad happens if you quit activities which you don't enjoy. Nothing bad happens if you leave the pub before closing time.
I think I got about three weeks into my 30s when I realised how liberating it was going to be.

@OhWhyNot I agree with you, nothing bad happens if you don’t wash your sheets weekly

Nothing bad happens if you stop dying your hair

urns out, nothing bad happens if you don't do a patch test 24 hours before colouring.

I'm glad I did one first time I tried to dye my grey hair - had really bad reacation to the patch test - really bad burn like reaction so I was quite pleased it was a small patch test and not my entire scalp.

My DMum did warn me to do it - as she'd had bad reactions - so luck and family history likely play a role there.

Leaving washing out over night on washing line - nothing bad happens - though it may get rained on and left a bit longer.

I've just taught DS to iron his shirts - cotton and linen so do look better but otherwise I don't do a huge amount of ironing - and found out in my 20s if things are hung up to dry many things don't need it.

Nothing bad happens if I don’t change the bedsheets/covers for a week or even two

Or even three. (Bad things start to happen after four, though.)

As well as nothing bad happens, I've realised the life changing magic of realising things don't have to be perfect.

The meal you sent 2 hours cooking wasn't great? Eh, food doesn't have to be perfect.
The dress you wanted to wear this weekend hasn't arrived? It's just the pub, you don't have to look perfect.
Answered the door to the postman in your PJ'S with wet hair (who delivers parcels at 8:30 on a Saturday?!). Doesn't matter, you don't always have to be perfect.

You’ve misunderstood the concept of a patch test and something bad definitely would happen to my hair if I washed it in shower gel! I like the finishing the book one though, that always wracks me with guilt. And yes to NBH if you don’t wear makeup. Even though sometimes it makes me look as though something B has H-ed.

Sewing in school name tags - who gives a crap?! I just attack with an orange sharpie pen 😂

Oh and yes to shower gel as shampoo, and indeed shampoo as shower gel - my dad working in manufacturing for the beauty industry and he assured me it’s all basically the same shit with different perfume added

[Whispers] in an emergency, fabric conditioner works as hair conditioner.

Nothing has to be perfect, a done something is better than a perfect nothing.

Winners know when to quit

Nothing bad happens if you tidy up by shoving all the clutter into a box and hiding it in the garage every few months. Bonus, you then get boxes of treasure to discover for your future self

Cats shit on my lawn if I don't mow it.

However, nothing bad happens if I don't curl my eyelashes.

@Dacquoise and more not to give a damn about when you hit your ( mid) 60’s.
I’ve realised that it was indoctrination by my ocd and narcissist mother that stopped me from giving a damn.
In the 4 years since she died I’ve found out that all sorts of things won’t happen if I don’t do them.

Nothing bad happens if you eat food a day out of date.

Nothing bad happens if you reheat rice.

Nothing bad happens if you leave your DP/H to sort presents and cards for his side of the family.

Nothing bad happens if you don't bother with 90% of the wifework associated with Christmas.

Nothing bad happens if you don't clean the bathroom for a week or more.

Nothing bad happens if you have soup or anything else that the average man 'doesn't consider a proper meal' for dinner.

Let your hair go grey

Spend the day in your PJs (if you're not going out)

Nothing bad happens of your kids have beans on toast for tea... (Tho MIL was certain the world would implode in a fiery ball of chaos...)

@Knittingnanny, totally agree it's due to indoctrination and the most insidious is the myth that females have to be nice, to make things perfect, to be everyone's carers and not to stand up for themselves

@AlbertBridge

Also I don’t get the one about not getting dressed Albert??

I'm freelance and WFH most days. I know that I HAVE to get showered and dressed as soon as I get up. Otherwise... we'll, otherwise it gets to [checks clock] 10:52am and I'll still be in my fluffy dressing gown, farting round on Mumsnet.

Sounds like my life

Nothing bad happens if i want to complain in a shop/restaurant/ pub or where ever.

It doesnt make a "Karen" and doesnt make me a racist bigoted arsehole purely because i want to query why i have been overcharged on the lampshade i just bought.

Nothing bad happens if I don’t change the bedsheets/covers for a week or even two
Are you sure, I mean really sure about this?🤔

@PalmarisLongus

Nothing bad happens of your kids have beans on toast for tea... (Tho MIL was certain the world would implode in a fiery ball of chaos...)

Absolutely nothing wrong with beans on toast for tea - mmm! Especially with loads of grated cheese…

That’s one reason why DD has school lunches - she’s already had a two course hot meal at lunch, so dinner can be a bit more snacky if she isn’t that hungry.

Nothing bad happens if you wear your teenage sons' trackie bottoms and mens t shirt to the gym instead of stupid lycra tights that give you a VPN and vest top that shows every buldge!

Nothing bad happens if you dont bother putting make up on for the company zoom.

Nothing bad happens if you actually allow the aforementioned teenage son to sleep in til midday on the weekends instead of chivvying him up for no particular reason.

@irresistibleoverwhelm

Mil would rather Daughter eat hunous and avacado on toast for tea.. beans on toast with cheddar cheese is "Dirty Food"

Which, leads me on to:

Nothing bad happens.... If you tell interfering family members to keep their beak out...

(Well, they might get upset and offended and stop talking to you... But that's a win win right there...)

Nothing bad happens if you don’t make any effort to try and look younger than you are.

On a related note nothing bad happens if you happen to weigh a few pounds more at 40 than you did aged 25.