Turns out, nothing bad happens if...

[HangingOver]

When I arrived into my thirties, like a lot of women I know, I experienced a dip in the amount of energy I found I had to allocate to fucks being given

Since then, I've noticed a number of Eureka moments when Ive realised, "turns out, nothing bad happens if..." and they are for the most part, joyful.

Here are a few of my favourites (personal to me, obviously, I'm sure people in other circs will disagree):

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't iron.

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't mow your lawn (literally or figuratively).

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't wear a padded bra (because I spent my twenties sadly trying to enhance my non-existent norks because "men would notice").

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you wash your hair with shower gel.

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't do a patch test 24 hours before colouring.

HBU?

@PyjamasAndWellies

Nothing bad happens if you stop dying your hair

Here here!

(Especially as I did indeed develop an allergy to the dye I'd been using for years)

Nothing bad happens if you don't finish a book you're not enjoying.

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't do a patch test 24 hours before colouring.

I think you're missing a trick here.

It could be

Nothing bad happens if I don't put chemicals on my hair.

Why even bother? I see loads of people walking around who used to colour their hair and now they've stopped giving a fk.

OK colour your hair if you want, if it makes you feel good about yourself etc, but on the NBH principle, nothing bad will happen if you don't. The people who care about you, the people who matter, will still care whatever your hair colour.

I'm obviously not the only one who thinks this

I don't iron. I would go so far as to say not only has nothing bad happened, something good has happened which is that on the rare occasion I really would look better smartly pressed, DH irons my clothes.

Nothing bad happens if you don't cook and just eat whatever for the evening.

On this one I beg to differ - fine if it's a one-off but I do believe bad things will happen by compromising diet and eating 'any old thing'. If anything, I compromise on other things in favour of self-care.

Number 1 has to be the way forward! Too many people are so wrapped up in caring about inconsequential things affecting others, that they neglect their own needs too much - I see it on here all the time.

@BadgertheBodger

Nothing bad happens when you say “no, sorry that doesn’t work for me” without tacking on an excuse or a justification. I particularly enjoy using it at work when some man person has inexplicably decided I am the ideal candidate to wipe their backside and deal with something they ought to sort themselves.

I concur, wholeheartedly, and do this more and more with every passing year. There will come the day, probably in my mid-60s, when I simply use only the one word; 'no', and I'm looking forward to this immensely.

@daisychain01

Nothing bad happens if you don't cook and just eat whatever for the evening.

On this one I beg to differ - fine if it's a one-off but I do believe bad things will happen by compromising diet and eating 'any old thing'. If anything, I compromise on other things in favour of self-care.

Number 1 has to be the way forward! Too many people are so wrapped up in caring about inconsequential things affecting others, that they neglect their own needs too much - I see it on here all the time.

But eating 'whatever' in the evening doesn't necessarily mean compromising nutrition, it just means suiting yourself instead of other people.

I always have a decent lunch because that's when I'm hungry. I'm currently having a small bowl of dhal out of the freezer and that will probably do me for today.

So many times on here I see women cooking food they don't want to eat to please men and children who are often old enough to make their own.

But eating 'whatever' in the evening doesn't necessarily mean compromising nutrition, it just means suiting yourself instead of other people

That's true - I was thinking the "eat whatever" meant not bothering and eating any old thing that's close to hand rather than making the effort, It does depend on life-style and your family dynamics as well - DH does the cooking and can vary things so I'm not eating the same "just because" that's all that's on offer.

Anyway my main point was, eat well and look after yourself! We are what we eat

This thread is Emotionally Intelligent! 🏅

Nothing bad happens if you generally don’t give much of a shite!!
I live alone (widowed) with a big soppy dog, and nothing bad happens if:
You say no!
You stay in bed all day, reading, eating biscuits, drinking tea and snoozing
You eat toast for your evening meal, and always just eat what YOU fancy.
You don’t walk the dog in vile weather, cos she hates it anyway
You refuse silly invitations to silly events that don’t interest you (no-one dies, honestly)
You don’t follow ludicrous new ‘rules’ that seem to appear every bloody week… Let common sense prevail!
You don’t send Christmas cards.. or even bother with Christmas much at all.
As long as you keep within the law, and your work place rules, pay your bills and look after yourself…. You don’t need to give a shite!!
Nothing bad happens!!

I can also confirm that NBH if you buy yourself a birthday cake when it's not your birthday.

@HangingOver

Love the 🎂 idea!!

This is a great thread👍

NBH if you stop the madness of the Christmas prep, minimise everything and buy your food pre-made from Aldi / M & S. In fact, you will get even more compliments because not only do you serve banging food, all ready at the same time and be in a fantastic mood yourself because it was sooo much easier than spending the week before hand chopping, prepping and fretting about temperatures and serving times.

NBH if you aren't the in the best mood when you meet up with people- go anyway and be as you are! No need for false niceities and you are always going to feel better afterwards

NBH if you are completely honest with yourself about how much you desire sex and it's different to your partner- you'll find a way through but there's nothing wrong with either of you...and if you're female, it will change depending on you age and stage

NBH if you tell your children that you need space and that solitude is essential sometimes

NBH if you skip your exercise that you'd committed yourself to...you'll pick it up again (or you won't and you'll move onto something else)

NBH if you voice your different opinions- you can all still get along...

@MuthaFunka61

NBH if you say "no" to men,although I can still hear the gasps of horror and shame.

And NBH if you decide to keep your dreads after you hit 60.

I wonder if SBWH if I've now outed myself? 🤷🏼‍♀️

You might have

Nothing bad happens if you don't organise the funeral your dead, and very unpleasant parent envisaged.
Nothing bad happens if you wash all your clothes together, regardless if colour.

@DowntrainTrain

Are you my long lost - never knew I had- twin?!!!!

Nothing bad happens if you're pushing 50, a bit overweight and wear red snakeskin shorts to your exercise class.

Nothing bad happens if your copious cellulite is visible to the public. Shorts have been a revelation this summer.

Nothing bad happens if you pay 10 quid every so often to get someone else to sort your eyebrows out.

Nothing bad happens if you don't auto-laugh at some comedy that your husband thinks is hilarious.

Nothing bad happens if you spend one whole day on a colour by numbers app, doing absolutely nothing else all day. One of the best days of my life frankly.

Nothing bad happens if you make your own Bloody Marys just because you really fancy one.

I know these are all very specific but this thread has really resonated with me!

Nbh if you tell your 11 year old that they boy who had been teasing her and being spiteful for 6 months because she didn't want to be his 'girlfriend' is a massive arsehole. It may not be big, clever or adult but he is and she doesn't need to put up with his shit.

NBH if you tell your boss that you feel overlooked because you are a 40 yr old mother with 20 years of work left in you, a strong track record and don't want to be written off quite yet.

Turns out nothing bad happens if you if you put paperwork aside for a few days if it needs to be returned a few weeks later rather than staying up for hours at night the you received it.

Turns out you can be polite and say hello but no need to make polite chitchat all the time.

Turns out that ironing is not a must.

Turns out that if meal prep for my work lunch does not work out it is not the end of the world.

It is ok not to like everyone you meet and equally it is ok for them not to like you.

It is ok to cut toxic people out of your life regardless of whether you are related it or not.

It is ok to walk away from a job that was seen as high powered etc to go to a job which is not seen in the same way but in a job which does not seem like a job and that you are happy, never being physically sick at the thought of work and have a brilliant life "work" balance.

It is ok to think of yourself before others sometimes and no is a full sentence.

Nothing bad happens if you leave the washing outside on the line for two whole days AND the night in between.

Nbh if you wear comfortable footwear.

@Bargebill19

Nbh if you wear comfortable footwear.

I'll go further and say...

NBH AT ALL if you put practicality and comfort before fashion.

NBH if you don't finish a novel because you're not enjoying it/can't get into it. It's so liberating to jettison books after the first couple of chapters, knowing I just don't have to make the effort to finish them. So glad I'm not in a book club!

Nbh if you delete an audiobook because you don’t like it or the narrator.