Turns out, nothing bad happens if...

[HangingOver]

When I arrived into my thirties, like a lot of women I know, I experienced a dip in the amount of energy I found I had to allocate to fucks being given

Since then, I've noticed a number of Eureka moments when Ive realised, "turns out, nothing bad happens if..." and they are for the most part, joyful.

Here are a few of my favourites (personal to me, obviously, I'm sure people in other circs will disagree):

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't iron.

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't mow your lawn (literally or figuratively).

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't wear a padded bra (because I spent my twenties sadly trying to enhance my non-existent norks because "men would notice").

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you wash your hair with shower gel.

Turns out, nothing bad happens if you don't do a patch test 24 hours before colouring.

HBU?

Yeah, not sure about the patch test one.

[quote ManifestDestinee]**@ManifestDestinee What bad things happen if you don't iron?

Well, if you go to work in rumpled clothes looking like you slept in them, you could be told you don't look professional, if it's a uniform you could get a warning, you could miss out on a promotion. If you combine the not ironing with wearing the same clothes for a week, washing your hair with shower gel or not washing at all, and wearing dirty shoes, and all the other things here, you''re likely to lose your job entirely.

We can all joke and pretend that standards are outdated or old fashioned and dont matter at all, but we all know that's just wishful thinking.[/quote]
I'm lucky then because I buy clothes in material that doesn't need to be ironed.

I only iron for weddings, funerals, christenings etc and possibly job interviews, but my day to day stuff doesn't need ironing, and if it was a bit creased I'd hang it in the bathroom overnight.

I'm lucky then because I buy clothes in material that doesn't need to be ironed

And if you had to wear a uniform that needed to be ironed, I bet you would iron it.

Blimey...
Nbh if you stay home for fear of the doomsday approaching. Rivers running red with the blood of the unironed, hacked to pieces by the mower they never touched or battered by bosses wielding golf clubs for turning up at the office in a slightly creased work skirt...

FOR SHAME is on all of you lazy people that do not fear the end times, for it is nigh, and you will be judge and found as lacking...
let your children and your children's children know that YOU FAILED to clean your stoop and change your linens.
History will mark the day you decided not to have drawers and shelves lined with left over wallpaper..
Cast thee unmade beds into the firey depths of turmoil and the 18th circle of IKEA, where they store the tealights...

Ahem...

In other news...

Nbh if you leave things "On the side" for a day or two, they don't automatically grow legs and leap behind "the side".

(Everyone has a "Side" don't they? As kids, ours was a brown cupboard with slidey doors that housed the glasses and 5 year old phone books)

@Bargebill19, brilliant idea! I do like to garden and at least it would get the damn thing out of the cupboard

[quote ManifestDestinee]**@ManifestDestinee What bad things happen if you don't iron?

Well, if you go to work in rumpled clothes looking like you slept in them, you could be told you don't look professional, if it's a uniform you could get a warning, you could miss out on a promotion. If you combine the not ironing with wearing the same clothes for a week, washing your hair with shower gel or not washing at all, and wearing dirty shoes, and all the other things here, you''re likely to lose your job entirely.

We can all joke and pretend that standards are outdated or old fashioned and dont matter at all, but we all know that's just wishful thinking.[/quote]
🙄

Nothing bad happens if you don't shower, don't have a smear test, don't get out of bed, don't wear make up or brush your hair, if you don't put stuff in the dishwasher, don't change sheets/towels for two weeks, open the curtains/blinds or speak to anyone! Oh but I've noticed that my little cream rug under my footstool is looking a little less cream so I must put that in the wash asap!

Nothing bad happens if you don't have a smear test

You could die, I guess. Is death something bad?

But I don't, because many of the things mentioned are not nonsense and bad things can and do happen as a consequence. Bad things DO happen when you get takeout every night, if you bin stuff you should recycle, if you don't wash yourself or iron or do a patch test or ever mow your lawn.

I was kind of with you
take aways every night = weight gain and unhealthy etc etc

But then you included IRON in the list.

what is going to happen to you if you don't iron?
And don;t say people will think badly of you because....well... I don't care.
And don;t say no promotion because that is irrelevant to my context.

@OldTinHat

Nothing bad happens if you don't shower, don't have a smear test, don't get out of bed, don't wear make up or brush your hair, if you don't put stuff in the dishwasher, don't change sheets/towels for two weeks, open the curtains/blinds or speak to anyone! Oh but I've noticed that my little cream rug under my footstool is looking a little less cream so I must put that in the wash asap!

Yeah, wtf, of course you should have smears

And don;t say no promotion because that is irrelevant to my context

But it's not irrelevant to other peoples context. You may have the freedm to not care what people think of you, most people do not. Most people haev jobs where they have to look as they are told.
There's a level of privilege in these posts about not caring about not showering or ironing or cleaning or cooking for your kids or caring about birthdays...but for some people that means losing your job and possible social services involvement.
And most of it is sheer pretence anyway.

[quote shinynewapple21]@TheyDoItOnPurposeLynne
Can you tell me more about the Colour by Numbers app please? [/quote]
This is the one I use. I pay to have no adverts too....I felt super guilty for being so frivolous but guess what...NBH!

play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.pixign.premium.coloring.book

Nbh if you piss in someone's cornflakes of a morning it seems

Death isn't bad.

@OldTinHat

Death isn't bad.

wtf

As someone who's had treatment twice for pre-cancerous cells of the cervix I can categorically confirm that smear tests are a gift to be accepted with both hands.

Sorry to be annoying but if you are going to use fabric conditioner on your hair be very careful not to get it in your eyes! This would be very bad!

Actually if you annoy someone on mumsnet...nothing bad happens!

@ManifestDestinee

Tbf if you see how some people have to survive (I won’t signify it with live) when they are suffering from horrendous illness and disease, death is a blessing.

Although admittedly this may not be the context @OldTinHat meant. In which case - yanbu

@Daleksatemyshed

You are welcome!! I covered mine with some thick polythene - used rubble bags from Tesco and duct taped them to the board, meant I could just sluice the entire thing down after making a mess potting stuff up - if I wanted to. Nbh!!!

Nothing bad happens if you ignore the fact that manifestdestinee is trying to hijack this post by pretending to be the guilty voice of our grandparents.

Oh and I like to think that throwing the odd thing in the bin instead of taking it to the charity shop is offsetted by the amount of food I don't have to consume to walk all the way there with a buggy. But then again if she really was the social justice warrior she is pretending to be, she wouldn't even be burning carbon to try and annoy us all on her electronic device

@Bargebill19 I might give this a go thanks.

Patriarchy would not work if it were not reinforced by the women passing on things to the next generation of women, would it?

Absolutely!

@Bargebill19 I'm sure you're right - I still can't quite bring myself to delete the contact info for the people I have who've passed away in the last few years of which there have been too many. Indeed one in particular I even occasionally phone it to hear her voice on the voicemail (lost her this year to COVID) which I'm sure I won't be able to for much longer when the phone company assigns her number to somebody else.

Especially the ironing. Ironing can fuck off.

Yep!

I think you need to join our book club. We're all (except one) over 60. If we don't want to finish it, we don't. And we don't hold back about why we didn't finish it.

Ooh can I join?! I'm almost 50 so a mere young un  but very vocal about crappy books even when I was doing my lit degree! Thank fuck I will never ever have to read that shite Tristram shandy again!

@blueskytoday06 I have ocd and also the meds I'm on fuck with my memory. All you need to do is put it through another rinse cycle it'll be fine

NBH if you see the good in the mother of your daughter's sister and try to forge a relationship.

Love this one. Not sure if you are the mother of the older or younger child from how it's worded. I'm a "first wife" my ex is a supreme arsehole and shite dad but dds stepmother is (aside from having been the ow) actually a really lovely lady, we were friends prior to the affair (yes I know!) but she has always communicated with me in a friendly and polite manner and always treated dd well. It's a complicated situation that resulted in dd not seeing her dad for several years (his doing) they are tentatively reconnecting at the moment. I'm very grateful that she treats dd well and has at times been able to rein in exes arseholery! Not always sadly

Oh and nbfh if you do NOTHING. If you're enjoying it you're not "wasting" time.

This is something my therapist is drumming into me!

@PalmarisLongus excellent

and possible social services involvement

Oh come off it! They've far more important things to deal with than if clothes are ironed or even if people bathe daily! Trust me!

Geez when I was growing up we had a bath on a Sunday night and that was us for the week! We were fine!

I have eczema if I wash daily my skin goes bonkers!

Nothing bad happens if you ignore the fact that manifestdestinee is trying to hijack this post by pretending to be the guilty voice of our grandparents.

@ManifestDestinee has their own agenda in this world. Nothing bad happens if just ignore this type.

Nbh if you let your kid eat sweets because you just want half an hour's quiet before you go completely bonkers....

Nbh if you do actually develop a taste for Boden... Ooo it looks nice and comfy...

Nbh if you choose the Hotter Flats over the Primark Heels.

Nbh if you ignore your phone because the person calling has a name like 'mum' or 'ex' or 'Mil'
(NBH if you remember.... If it's important, they'll leave a message.... )