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Original poster

The sh*ttiest thing that someone has said to you?

217 replies

Houseofvelour · 22/08/2021 00:28

What's the rudest/sh*ttiest thing that someone has said to/asked you?

Years ago, I was a bridesmaid for a (now ex) friend. I was blonde at the time and she asked me to dye my hair brown as she preferred it darker. Hmm
I did not dye my hair brown.

OP posts:
CapybaraConnoisseur · 25/08/2021 16:51

I've had a lot of nasty things said to me all through my life.

I've had exes call me an attention seeking little bitch because i wanted to be kissed and cuddled. I've been told everything I touch rots, I wanted to make friends and was told why can't you take the hint that we don't fucking like you - this was at uni - in public - and the tutors did nothing. I've been locked out of my boyfriends house by his brother, i've been relentlessly bullied all my life. since i was 5 years old. 20 years of this. I've never been anything but kind, compassionate, helpful, to everyone. it really upsets my mum & my boyfriend that people are genuinely so awful to me for absolutely no reason.

The things above have happened in the past 6 months. not included being strangled with a skipping rope at school with three girls on my back, being accused of stealing money when i did the banking wrong (i have dyscalculia), a rumour that my dad was a pedo when i was in primary school - that was especially vile.

I've never forgotten any of this. :(

ClemDanFango · 25/08/2021 18:08

@CapybaraConnoisseur I’m so sorry to hear that. That is properly shit. Remember that when people treat you badly it says everything about them and absolutely nothing about you. Cut toxic people from your life because they don’t deserve the privilege of knowing you.

MaMelon · 25/08/2021 18:12

There have been quite a few, but the most recent one was a few years ago from my MIL (whom I've struggled to like over the years) - "your hair is looking a lot better now Ma, for a while it wasn't looking very nice, but I put that down to your mum dying".

Hurtful in the extreme - losing mum was bad enough, but to have that thrown at me was awful.

Polkadots2021 · 25/08/2021 18:14

I'm teflon which is quite good for me Grin and there's been some major ones directed my way but one still annoys me (definitely not the worst by a long shot but for some reason irritates me still).

Was about 12, on holiday just minding my own business walking along the beach with immediate family, looking at rock pools, mother demandingly asks me, quite pointedly asks me out of nowhere, would I like to be a lawyer. I was like, err maybe, yeah why not, and she looks back at me and says, makes sense, you've got such a huge ego, and looked at me with total disdain.

I mean, not only was it nasty, but totally random and I was just minding my own business and y'know, not good for a tween girls confidence etc etc. As mentioned before, not the worst by a very long shot but still rankles me maybe because of the pointless nastiness and shit parenting it represented.

Luckily I never did rely on the parentals for any of my self confidence, approval or anything else...

Threewheeler1 · 25/08/2021 18:32

MaMelon
Jesus, that's horrible!

My in-law one was FIL telling me that it was "pointless going back to work (after 2nd child) because social workers earn peanuts. Not like SIL, she has a proper job".
Those "peanuts" had kept me fed and kept a roof over my head, paying mortgage etc.
Also he didn't understand why people do jobs like that and that it's about more than money. Still doesn't.
This is the bloke who, when me and DH bought a house together, had his solicitor draw up a Declaration of Trust for me to sign and passed it to the solicitor dealing with our house. No warning or discussion, it was slapped down in front of me along with the house documents on completion day. Lots in it about if I develop an addiction etc I walk away from the house. So offensive and fuck all to do with him!
Felt personal as I have a big, complicated family and there have been addiction problems with one of my siblings. I'd never told him about it so DH must have. Made things pretty clear. It was a grim day that.
Honestly, I still struggle with my in-laws almost 21 years later.
Anyway, not the worst thing ever said to me but one of the most memorable!

Threewheeler1 · 25/08/2021 18:35

Bloody hell. Some of these are so awful Flowers

BananaMilkshakeWithCream · 25/08/2021 18:37

My ex called me a freak for having epilepsy and my ex-boss said she never would have employed me had she known I had the condition.

Seeleyboo · 25/08/2021 18:54

Sexually abused by my mums husband for years. When i was in my early 20s she blamed me for it and said i was the slut. I was 4 when it started Hmm

EmergencyHydrangea · 25/08/2021 19:06

My father telling me he wouldn't need to abuse me if I was fun to parent in the first place. My mother telling me she wished she'd never had me. (It's not like I was an accident, I'm adopted, they both chose to have me)

TowandaForever · 25/08/2021 19:09

@Threewheeler1

MaMelon Jesus, that's horrible!

My in-law one was FIL telling me that it was "pointless going back to work (after 2nd child) because social workers earn peanuts. Not like SIL, she has a proper job".
Those "peanuts" had kept me fed and kept a roof over my head, paying mortgage etc.
Also he didn't understand why people do jobs like that and that it's about more than money. Still doesn't.
This is the bloke who, when me and DH bought a house together, had his solicitor draw up a Declaration of Trust for me to sign and passed it to the solicitor dealing with our house. No warning or discussion, it was slapped down in front of me along with the house documents on completion day. Lots in it about if I develop an addiction etc I walk away from the house. So offensive and fuck all to do with him!
Felt personal as I have a big, complicated family and there have been addiction problems with one of my siblings. I'd never told him about it so DH must have. Made things pretty clear. It was a grim day that.
Honestly, I still struggle with my in-laws almost 21 years later.
Anyway, not the worst thing ever said to me but one of the most memorable!

Did you sign it? Was he involved financially in your house purchase?
Threewheeler1 · 25/08/2021 19:38

TowandaForever
No, didn't sign & he had no financial involvement. Is just very protective of his son, to the point of being offensive! To be fair to Dh, he knew nothing about it either until that day. Words were had afterwards but his behaviour has pretty much continued in that pattern since. I have developed a very thick skin!

furbabymama87 · 25/08/2021 19:42

You've got saggy tits, flabby belly and your fanny stinks of fish. This from an ex who's child I had given birth to a week prior. A week later he was sending me sexy messages and saying he missed me. I said so why did you say that about me then, and he replied it was to upset me and he never meant it. I was a damn sight better looking than him and could do better all round and he knew it. Thankfully I'm now married to someone else who treats me well and nasty ex is in the past.

adoreyou · 25/08/2021 19:47

As a teen I went to see a therapist, I was referred after finally speaking up to my GP that I was depressed... think I was 16 at the time.

First session with the therapist and he tells me I'm faking it, I was making it up. He'd asked me about family history and I explained my mum had had depression as a teen too and he accused me of basically copying.

Even at 16 I thankfully knew he was being an arsehole. But I really wished I complained about him.

handtofold · 25/08/2021 19:52

NOT me but friend's MIL was saying how lovely all her grandchildren looked as newborns.

Then she turned around to DFriend and said 'not yours, haha oh no, she looked like a red goblin'

DFriend's baby was born very premature and died at 8 days old. I have never ever felt such second hand heartbreak. I wanted to punch her

Nobody seemed to comment so I said 'that's rude, your poor grandchild. And she can't even speak up to defend herself because she isn't here. How could you'

the80sweregreat · 25/08/2021 19:54

Your thick ( dh's horrible boss)
Your an under achiever
No wonder I have low self esteem!!
😂

Frlrlrubert · 25/08/2021 20:08

Both 'D'M

'How much weight HAVE you put on?' I was 16 weeks pregnant and had lost 6 lb because I had HG, and I was a size 10/12 to start with.

'Your jeans are hanging off you, you can't be attractive to your poor husband' when DD was six weeks old, I was slightly under what I weighed before getting pregnant, again because of the HG.

'Your poor husband' is a bit of a theme for her.

AutistGoth · 25/08/2021 20:43

The man who groomed me as a teenager: "Don't ever tell anyone that you led me wrong. No one will want to marry you if you aren't a virgin."

I was 15 at the time.

Plumtree391 · 25/08/2021 20:59

@EmergencyHydrangea

My father telling me he wouldn't need to abuse me if I was fun to parent in the first place. My mother telling me she wished she'd never had me. (It's not like I was an accident, I'm adopted, they both chose to have me)
Another adopted child here.

My mother regularly said, "I curse the day I ever had you".

Bouledeneige · 25/08/2021 21:18

My DS told me I had submitted him to emotional abuse. It's so far from the truth and broke my heart. Our relationship is still very distant.

I can't believe all those years of line parenting have been so trashed. I miss him.

Plumtree391 · 25/08/2021 22:38

@Bouledeneige

My DS told me I had submitted him to emotional abuse. It's so far from the truth and broke my heart. Our relationship is still very distant.

I can't believe all those years of line parenting have been so trashed. I miss him.

I'm so sorry about that, Bouledneige. Did you ask your son what he considered to be emotional abuse?

I don't know what 'line parenting' is, I'm afraid. Perhaps you will explain. I am sure you do miss your son, I would miss mine if he became distant.

Flowers
Original poster
Houseofvelour · 26/08/2021 00:16

Sending so much love to you all.
None of us deserved any of the abuse we received.
Keep your head up and be proud that those fuckers didn't keep us down. 💖

OP posts:
CapybaraConnoisseur · 26/08/2021 14:52

@clemfandango thank you, i do have some lovely people in my life, but i can't help that there are dickheads that i'm related to, or that DP is related to. I try to ignore it but things hurt me a lot, im very sensitive!

Margot78 · 03/04/2022 23:01

I expressed frustration to DH about his sister bragging on FB about the third overseas holiday she is planning for this year. Just felt it was insensitive when so many of us are struggling right now. He told me that I “always see the worst in everyone”. Wow.

I was devastated that someone who I thought loved me thinks that I’m basically a cow. It has really really knocked my self esteem and I haven’t been able to smile or think straight ever since. I feel so empty inside.

I have always strived to be kind and see the good in others but obviously I’m truly horrible. Sorry to comment on a bit of an old thread but just needed to tell someone.

Shuuu · 03/04/2022 23:08

An old Ex friend once said my boyfriend was very attractive & I was okay looking Hmm

Neverreturntoathread · 03/04/2022 23:52

“Er you know last night when I said I love you? You didn’t think I meant it, right?”

😐