Life.Is.Shit - and I don't think I'm depressed - maybe it just is?

[doesparentingsuck]

I honestly can't work out if I'm depressed or not. I frequently just don't believe life is that hard work it is, I've quite simply had enough.

This isn't a suicidal post - I have no intention of ending my life but just don't get enjoyment out of it that I would want/expect to make it worthwhile.

It's boring AF. From the outside looking in you would think I'm ungrateful for making this post. There's nothing in my life that's an issue really.

Hate my work, too much responsibility and also boring but aside from this it earns me incredible income and I have freedoms to do what a want.

So why do I still come to this conclusion?

Id love to hear other experiences.

OP - I agree entirely. I vacillate between thinking it must be depression to think this way, or that life clearly IS shit and if you can’t see it, what marvellous mental trickery are you doing to enable you to live happily?

No answers I’m afraid.

I think what makes me see it worse is because I actually have a 'nice life' - there's nothing wrong with my situation and also days when I feel this intensely - nothing bad has happened I just her this thought swirling my head - what is the point of this?

It's constant. I don't think I'll ever be at peace with myself/life.

Has the feeling started recently OP?

I get like this at times, it's as though a veil has been lifted and you can see the futility of it all, and yet most other people bustle around in happy ignorance.

For me it does go away eventually, but I definitely associate it with my mental health. It's being depressed without the despair or distress.

Make an exit plan! De use what you want to do. Save up for 6 months or do, then go for it!

@Baystard it's been this way for years since late teens.

Late teens I went through a real bad spell of it, like someone else suggested at that time I did exactly that - Saved money and buggered off thinking it would all be better and...it wasn't

So then I thought having lots of money makes it better worked my ass off in a career...it didn't.

So if you’re financially comfortable, you’re in a great position to address what’s wrong — if you hate your job, change it. Retrain. Do something more meaningful and enjoyable. Or, if this doesn’t appeal, come to terms with the fact that you e chosen a dull, stressful job in order to enjoy a certain salary.

It's shit for the vast majority of people. I think accepting this and aiming for peace and contentment is a far better strategy for coping than this false belief a lot of us were fed of how it's supposed to be.

@Fountaining it's not that easy. Don't want to explain as it's outing but it's not the kind of career I can just leave.

I also have no experience in anything else and couldn't name something I enjoy enough to want to do it eight hours a day

@osbertthesyrianhamster but how do you achieve peace and contentment? When you know deep down it's BS

I know a woman who had a great job doing something boring, meaningless (to her) and very well paid, who gave it up to become a paramedic.

You could change things perhaps.

Are you a teacher? If so, you'll be guilt-tripped into staying. You'll get the 'vocation' tripe and 'Oh, but it's for the kids' until there's nothing left of your heart or soul.

Whatever job it is, get out, and live.

Do you enjoy your own company?

@shakeitoffshakeacocktail I can put up with it - becoming more of fan of being alone since the pandemic. I've become weird socially and much more introvert

doesparentingsuck do you feel unhappy, or just not as happy as society expects you to be?

I have a theory that as a species for millions of years we've had enough to think about trying to satisfy our basic needs for food, shelter, physical safety etc, and nobody looked for happiness for it's own sake. You survived, you managed, you probably got satisfaction from a good meal or a warm day. Nowadays we are expected to feel happy and fulfilled and wonderful but in evolutionary terms that's very recent.

Our brains are also too big. They've helped us to conquer the planet, but there's an unpleasant side effect that we think too much!

@DoingItMyself not a teacher! Definitely not a job for me.

I won't state what I do as don't want to be outing but it's very very well paid (not being goady as clearly this isn't making my life a bed of roses lol)

I actually think about other occupations and cannot for the life of me think of anything else I even have the desire to do.

@Baystard that's a good point you make. I would say I flit between sadness, unhappiness and nothingness.

I'm truly happy usually on a saturday when I have no obligations, can enjoy the day have fun without worrying about anyone or anything - the other six days are bleak

@fufulina 😂 I'm glad it's not just me. Perhaps we both need mental trickery lessons

doesparentingsuck it's hard isn't it. Have you had a proper* holiday recently?

*A break from working, irrespective of whether you stay at home

I thought I was depressed for years. Was even put on anti depressants for a long time.

I had therapy and it made me realised I wasn’t depressed.

My life has just been hard for many reasons, and no one would have coped with it all.

I’ve just come to accept my life for what it is/what has happened. And try and cope with things better.

My life is small for a whole host of reasons, I’m of those people that MN gasp over because I’m one of the ones who lockdown didn’t change anything for - no days out, no meals out, no holidays, no spare cash for even a an off the cuff take away coffee - and gasp! No trips to the theatre or museums!

But that’s okay. That’s what my life is, despite working hard (and bedding knocked back at everything I try to do).

I’m just okay with where I am now.

I think if you enjoy your own company that's a good start have you got a case of the 'should haves'??

I found myself so much happier when I gave up caring one fuck about what I 'should' be doing.

Don't live your life to fit in, don't do things you don't want to because you 'should'

If you like quiet mornings with a hot drink and a favourite food item do it. Respect your down time and fill it with what you need not what you should do or want to impress others with

Good luck

OP if you want to change things, you can. Make a plan, save some of that £££, retrain, get involved with something you love or at least find interesting.

You sound so passive, as if you have no agency, when you do.

[quote doesparentingsuck]@Fountaining it's not that easy. Don't want to explain as it's outing but it's not the kind of career I can just leave.

I also have no experience in anything else and couldn't name something I enjoy enough to want to do it eight hours a day [/quote]
I had one of those careers, and I’d done four degrees as a pre-requisite for it, and never worked in anything else, but I left my job last year, and am in therapy and considering my options. Regardless of my decades of investment in it, it was no longer working for me.

@Baystard I haven't taken a holiday ever. The only time I take holiday is for a weekend break or to go abroad. The last time this happened was dec 2019

@shakeitoffshakeacocktail I agree with that and I do exactly that now.

Do you know, putting on a bit of makeup and going shopping and for a coffee on Saturday afternoon makes me happy - DH thinks it's sad but I don't care! I do it. Even if I have no intention of buying anything I enjoy it.

Problem is there just isn't many things I enjoy that are things that can be done repeatedly without indulging/spending money which has its own issues.

Probably could say I'm a shopping addict, I think it's one way that gives me excitement in my life

Could be anhedonia.

@AtrociousCircumstance I honestly can't. I do sound passive as right now - I am. I cannot walk away, it's close to impossible.

It would mean more than just waking away and affect a lot of other people x