Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Weird letter received

419 replies

Thegirlthatwanted2begod · 06/07/2021 20:47

DH received this letter in the post today in a used NHS envelope that was stuck down with sellotape. Both of us are stumped to why it's been sent as I've googled and Mankind doesn't look to be part of NHS and the number is correct but the message on the letter has freaked us out,

has anyone ever had anything similar to this?

Weird letter received
OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
QueenBee52 · 07/07/2021 01:23

how strange Hmm

NannyAndJohn · 07/07/2021 01:31

I wonder if he purposefully sent it to himself and made sure the OP was the one to open it?

FortunesFave · 07/07/2021 02:09

Report it to the police. I had a very odd letter once and DH was working abroad at the time so I was very worried. The police took it seriously, they came to visit me and look at the letter.

The next day they called me and told me they'd had about 5 other reports of similar letters in the area and that they thought it was someone having a psychotic episode....and that the letters were posted randomly. It made me feel better as I wasn't targeted.

groovergirl · 07/07/2021 02:56

I think this is someone who wants to remain anonymous, and goading you into thinking he's having an affair and telling horrible stories about you. They've put it in an NHS envelope to link it more strongly to him/his life.

@TheFoundations might be onto something. There are people who enjoy creeping out the object of their hatred and/or desire.

Something similar happened to me, in the form of anonymous calls to my professional contacts (ie not direct colleagues but people with whom my work brought me in contact), professing sexual interest on my behalf. It was usually around the time of my birthday, which made me suspect the calls were coming from someone in my office who knew such details. This happened on and off for 13 years, and I never did find out who it was. Clearly someone held a grudge.

Keep the letter and envelope, OP, and any others that come in as evidence. You and DH might eventually work out who it is.

Jozen · 07/07/2021 04:20

Just a thought regarding your husband's job within maternity services at the NHS. Does he have anything to do with the social services that are involved with the babies taken into care at birth due parental instability with drug and alcohol abuse, DV etc?

Bit out there I know but if so, could be someone who thinks he is to blame for an outcome of a situation.

eekbumbler · 07/07/2021 04:53

@Daydrambeliever

I would consider that my partner may have had an affair and told his affair partner that he was in an abusive relationship, then got cold feet and left them.

It is, to be honest, the only explanation apart from a seriously mentally ill person targeting your partner. But this is much less likely than someone having an affair.

It may be nothing but this would be my first suspicion and I would have to discount it before moving on.

This.

As much as you claim no possibility of an affair. The outcome of one is far more likely than a random stalker.

Also the blue NHS envelope is used to send out vaccination invites so easily available.

I'm calling Occam's razor on this one.

eekbumbler · 07/07/2021 05:02

@Thegirlthatwanted2begod

As far as I know no issues with anyone at work, he's a proper gentle giant and goes over and beyond work for people, but his colleagues are from what he's told me are just that, colleagues and he would be embarrassed if anyone had a crush on him or whatever, as far as I know he's never mentioned anything at work about our relationship as he doesn't have those sort of talks with his team, he's not a manager so hasn't sacked anyone or upset anyone.
As far as you know.

I don't want to put a downer on things and I'm the last to call LTB - but... His name, his address, come back to me, from his place of work ie NHS envelope, linking to abusive relationship, all shouts

affair over, couldnt possibly tell wife she is too abusive towards me - or the old chestnut - simply doesnt understand me.

Whoever sent it, has had her nose pushed out of joint, has likely been deeply deeply hurt hence resorting to this.

The likelihood of a random getting hold of name and address is minimal.

Your gentle giant that goes over and above and beyond sounds like a very attractive catch.

singlehun · 07/07/2021 05:32

Another one saying call the non emergency police number. Better safe than sorry

princessandthedragon · 07/07/2021 06:28

[quote Thegirlthatwanted2begod]@TheFoundations haha you aren't far wrong with what you have said!

I literally said "what the fuck is this?" He came over and he had the exact same reaction, he's as clueless as I. I did ask if there was something he needed to tell me but I am 100% sure he's as baffled as I am

@Womendohavevaginasnick without outing him, he's an advisor for a service within maternity [/quote]
Sounds like it might be from a patient. But what’s worrying is how they got his address. I would also recommend logging this with the police non-emergency number. Might be worth him asking his colleagues if any of them have received similar? Has he had any patients act oddly towards him recently?

Meruem · 07/07/2021 06:33

I’m reading a book at the moment where a woman hires herself out to do this sort of thing. It’s a “service” for people who have a crush on a married person and want to break up their marriage. It’s fiction obviously but in the book it is quite sad that this solid marriage is being wrecked because of someone else’s lies.

With no other evidence, I wouldn’t jump straight to affair. I think it’s far more likely to either be someone with MH issues or someone who has a crush on your DH and wants to cause trouble. If something else happens then obviously reassess. But at the moment I’d just throw it away and try and forget about it.

FatAnnabel · 07/07/2021 07:06

Do you have an unusual surname op? If so, was the spelling correct?
Really bizarre situation, I hope you get to the bottom of it.

whatthejiggeries · 07/07/2021 07:22

My first thought is that he has had an affair - maybe some time ago and that he said he was being abused. It's all too much of a coincidence. I didn't think my partner would have an affair. He didn't have a job he was a househusband, had find my friend, thought I new him after thirty years but no - so I guess I am sceptical when it comes to the he would never do it belief

Emmelina · 07/07/2021 07:36

That’s really bizarre. I don’t believe it would have been from Mankind themselves as a mailshot- if it really did find an abusive household and the abuser found it that would cause quite a problem.
To have his name - I’m sorry. It does sound personal.
Many of us whose partners have strayed haven’t seen it coming. And there are plenty of posts on here from ladies who have been told by their bloke the ex was crazy, or violent, or frigid, to garner sympathy (ie, get them into bed) - potentially there’s “I’d leave for you but I’m scared of her!” at play (whether or not you are abusive, it means he can have his cake and eat it!)

comebacksunshines · 07/07/2021 07:41

I would say it’s a grudge, or a weird prank. Some people can have a odd sense of humour.
An affair partner would have written directly to you, or be causing other havoc seeing how they know where you live, not written some cryptic note hidden inside a letter you are unlikely to open.

AliceLivesHere · 07/07/2021 07:46

A friend of mine sent a note to another man's girlfriend since he had done something awful to her friend but the girlfriend assumed he had a stalker and it was dismissed as such. He said it was a stalker and it was believed because of the way it was sent.

I think this type of thing would quickly get dismissed as stalker behaviour but you never know it might be for someone with the same surname with good intent? Who knows

HugeBowlofChips · 07/07/2021 08:10

Crazed patient? My sister is a GP and has had patients with obsessions with her - there have been quite a few over the years. There are lot of sad, lonely people out there. They might be unbalanced, but they can be extremely good at finding out where you live. I think he needs to tell work.

latetotheteaparty · 07/07/2021 08:17

it looks as though it is from someone he has had an affair with, that he told her you were abusive and couldn't leave, and she is saying to him - you can leave, contact this organisation. My guess is that she works for the NHS hence sending it in a NHS envelope - sent in that envelope so that she didn't raise your suspicions/he definitely opened it. He has probably blocked her so she cannot contact him in any other way, but she still believes he is being abused - that is probably genuine. That would be my guess.

Griefmonster · 07/07/2021 08:25

@JovialNickname

I honestly think it's a completely random letter from someone that just isn't very well. You clearly have a strong marriage with no cheating husband. Although everyone is understandably trying to find a logical reason for the letter, if someone isn't in their right mind there won't be a reason for it that is comprehensible or that makes sense (other than in the altered mind of the unwell person that sent it).
Agree with this. Someone who is having a manic episode would do exactly this kind of thing (and be mortified after). It looks like a vaccination letter envelope which many people will have access to. If he works in maternity services I would be worried it's a pregnant woman who could be really struggling.

I would report to police or work. Someone who might be able to help identify the sender for their own welfare.

jobsagudden · 07/07/2021 08:27

Seems to me like he might have a stalker at work considering it's in an NHS envelope?

Maybe someone has fixated on a small conversation they've had.

Is he based in a hospital?

HangingOver · 07/07/2021 08:33

I think it's from someone who is mentally ill

Same. I had a friend who suffered psychosis and he did stuff like this. It was scary because although he was completely unhinged, he was still cunning about finding out where the person lived and everything about them. He didn't know the person, he he only spoke to her once and he thought she was his girlfriend. He also "visited" multiple other addresses at night leaving random incomprehensible "gifts". Be really vigilant OP. I don't want to scare you but things narrowly avoided ending badly for everyone in his case.

DoormatBob · 07/07/2021 08:35

The envelope is exactly the same as I have on my desk right now, a vaccination invitation/notice so most the country have got one. Bristol return address on back too.

CoralSparkles · 07/07/2021 08:38

we both have find your friends on phones (usually for when one of us in in the pub before the other and can work out when to order another drink) and he rarely ever goes out or anything without me

It’s really weird you track his movements. I’ve never done that to my OH, friends, siblings etc and I’m in my 20s (so tracking people with your phone became a “thing” in recent years). Also you mentioned that his friends are your friends… so you don’t have separate friendship circles. Maybe your DH thinks you’re too controlling and doesn’t know how to tell you? Maybe he posted this (or a friend) as a subtle hint for you?

HangingOver · 07/07/2021 08:38

If it were an affair, it still wouldn't make sense. Why post it to him? Everyone is easy to track down on socials these days, if the ex genuinely thought she was in an abusive relationship why would they risk the abuser seeing the letter rather than DM them? Why just the one anonymous line? If that's her one chance to say something to DP why is it so unconsidered, badly written and doesn't even say anything?

ED81 · 07/07/2021 08:44

I’d definitely report to the local police. Just as a heads up to them. It is very odd. Who knows what is going on in your area and these things are all pieces of a jigsaw sometimes.

That and get a camera doorbell!

IntermittentParps · 07/07/2021 08:46

Envelope is likely a reused one from a vaccine letter as others have said. Maybe contact Mankind, out of curiosity.

Swipe left for the next trending thread