Do you think lesbian is defined by sex or gender?

[neroforte]

So, if someone was of male sex, but identified as a woman, and they dated a woman, would it be a lesbian or straight relationship? Would the bio woman still be considered a lesbian for dating the woman indentified male?

Why does it have to be defined?

Lesbians are women
Women are adult human females who are and have always been biological women.
It’s pretty simple.
If you are a biological woman only attracted to other biological women then you are a lesbian. Nobody else is a lesbian

What is your AIBU?

It used to be called 'same-sex attracted' - and for a good reason.

Only women are lesbians 🤷🏼‍♀️
Women= biological women

I’m not a lesbian so not really important what I think regarding lesbians specifically, but to me sexual attraction is of course based on sex.

I don’t want to have sex with someone with a vagina however they identify. We have sex with our genitals and I have no wish let alone sexual desire to have sex with another vagina.

@PurpleyBlue

Why does it have to be defined?

Oops posted too soon. Why does it have to be defined? Is it for an official form or something?

A lesbian is a female person who is sexually attracted to people who are female.
Same sex attracted not same gender.

Sexual Orientation
It’s right there in the name.

Yes I agree that it’s based on same sex attraction, not gender identity. Got into an argument on TikTok over it which is why I’m asking lol

Honestly lesbians are women who are attracted to women. Not people with penises.

However there are people who have penises who identify as women and lesbians. Their female partners may also still identify as a lesbian. I suppose two people with penises who identify as women would still describe themselves as in a lesbian relationship despite two penises being involved. Much kool aid has been drunk.

Lesbians who don’t want to have sex with people with penises are frequently branded as terfs obsessed with genitalia.

There is so much gender nonsense on TikTok that it’s really not worth engaging OP. I’ve seen a few gender critical feminists on there talking sense but they’re generally trolled by the TRAs and the woke brigade.

Lesbians are taking quite a lot of abuse over their "genital fetish". I think you can describe your sexual orientation however you please but I don't think you have a right to accuse someone of bigotry if they are sexually attracted to other women with vagina's and reject you on the basis that you have a penis.

Generally I consider lesbians to be females attracted to other females (female bodies/biology not female as a gender identity).

However if a woman and a trans woman were in a relationship and considered it a lesbian relationship I wouldn’t argue with how they personally described their relationship. I don’t suppose there is a specific alternative term is there?

I'd say if their partner can define themselves however they want then so can the biological woman.

At an employer I know of, a female-gendered person in a relationship with a woman is a lesbian relationship. Even if they were together prior to the female-gendered person being female-gendered.

I want to know what would happen to the status of a civil partnership, entered into pre-2020 when only same-sex couples could have civil partnerships, if one party transitioned prior to 2020.

Following the principle above, the relationship then became a heterosexual one and therefore the civil partnership was illegal.

I can see why they would want to think they are in a lesbian relationship but they aren’t. Words have actual meanings.

Lesbians are defined by their sex and their same sex attraction. I'm sure there are more than enough words to go around if someone needs to define their relationship outside of those terms.

One of my lesbian friends says: "I'm not attracted to penises. That's the whole point."

Google 'cotton ceiling'. It really is a thing.

There is always a problem when borrowing other people's words and stretching their meanings to suit yourself and your own needs.

@FOJN

Lesbians are taking quite a lot of abuse over their "genital fetish". I think you can describe your sexual orientation however you please but I don't think you have a right to accuse someone of bigotry if they are sexually attracted to other women with vagina's and reject you on the basis that you have a penis.

Very nicely put.

I wonder how many straight women would still fancy their male partners if they underwent sex-reassignment surgery, or whatever it's called this week?

Its sex - it always has been.

I would consider a lesbian relationship to be two women (of the female biology) , not a male claiming to be a woman and a woman.

Lesbians are same sex attracted but I'd still consider a woman a lesbian if their partner was a transwomen, especially post sex reassignment surgery.

I'm not sure if I would consider a straight woman to have 'turned' into a lesbian if their DH came out as trans though.

I'm curious about something, but could never ask them directly. I knew a man who identified as a woman, changed her name and wore wigs and makeup, then she got a partner, a woman who identified as a man. My mind boggled.

Sex.

Males cannot be lesbians.