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Original poster

I am so unhappy and not sure if I need to return puppy to breeder. Can anyone help?

208 replies

Notaurewhattodo · 16/04/2021 10:32

We have had her two weeks. She is delightful at home. Sleeps well, eats well, toileting going well. She is very sweet and family all enjoying her company. Only the usual bites phases in the evening to deal with. She is however very shy out and about. Scared of loud noises. Scared of children. Often refuses to get out of the car if she hears loud noises and I have to lift her out against her will basically as I can’t leave her in the car and we need to go places. I do treat her to ease the process but it’s worrying me.

And I am feeling so overwhelmed by the task of what lies ahead socialising her. We have two children ourselves who she loves but she is scared of their friends. And I am worried this will be difficult for her. She tries to hide from them when they come to visit. How will I ever take her to parks and beaches where screaming kids are running around? Will it be very stressful for her. Maybe she would be better in a home with adults only.

Also I am worried about my own health. I have a mild prolapse which I feel is being impacted negatively by it all. She sometimes refuses to get into car and I have to pick her up and she wriggles around. Also she pulls on the lead at times and I am worried this will not get sorted and I will not be able to manage her and my prolapse will get worse 😕

I am so sad about it all. My children adore her and I feel it would break their hearts to return her. But I do feel maybe we aren’t the right family for her.

Can anyone help me? Please be kind. I feel I can’t discuss with anyone in real life so posting on here.

OP posts:
Original poster
Notaurewhattodo · 16/04/2021 10:32

She is 12 weeks

OP posts:
doodleygirl · 16/04/2021 10:34

What exactly were you expecting from a 12 week puppy?

Bluntness100 · 16/04/2021 10:36

Gosh, she’s twelve weeks old, what were you thinking? Of course this is how she behaves.

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Dogs
Original poster
Notaurewhattodo · 16/04/2021 10:36

Is this normal for a 12 week old puppy? Everyone who meets her seems surprised how timid she is.

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 16/04/2021 10:36

That all sounds totally normal to me.

dementedpixie · 16/04/2021 10:37

She's only 12 weeks and barely settled into your household. You seem to be expecting an awful lot in a short space of time

CommunistLegoBloc · 16/04/2021 10:37

12 weeks is the fear period. She needs lots of positive socialisation for the next 6-8 weeks. Exposure to noise and new places, + treats. Really you should have done this prior, but have a read of Easy Peasy Puppy Squeazy. Terrible title but a good book that can guide you through this.

What breed is she? I'm a bit Hmm that you didn't know this was coming, and are already wanting to return her...

Original poster
Notaurewhattodo · 16/04/2021 10:37

I have never had a puppy before. Lots of friends have had puppies recently and they all remark how timid she is compared to x, y and z puppy. And I was concerned that she wouldn’t fit in with family life.

OP posts:
Ostryga · 16/04/2021 10:37

Did you do any research before getting a puppy?

I do sympathise, but this is all incredibly normal, and being sad about it is just going to make things worse. It’s your job to ease this baby animal into family life. And to do that you need to be very well informed on how to socialise and encourage confidence in a puppy.

AhmenGwendolyn · 16/04/2021 10:38

She is a baby, why are you pushing her so hard? When mine was that little I popped him in a washing basket and we sat on the front step watching the world go by so he got used to lorries, bikes, small people.

Also, play sirens, to rework noises on the TV, very low volume to start with to get her used to out of the ordinary noises.

Original poster
Notaurewhattodo · 16/04/2021 10:39

Yes I have the easypeasypuppysqueazy book.
I spend all day reading and looking up information to try and make sure I am doing the best I can.

OP posts:
trevthecat · 16/04/2021 10:39

Why don't people do research?
Have a pup for 2 weeks then realised it's not all cuteness and ease! Puppies are hard work and you need to socialise now and you will need to pick up now and again.

Original poster
Notaurewhattodo · 16/04/2021 10:40

Thanks you are reassuring me.

OP posts:
BagORats · 16/04/2021 10:40

Go on dog training advice and support on Facebook. They have tons of guides to help you with this and if you're still struggling you can post and get advice from a qualified behaviourist.

She's timid because she's never seen any of this stuff - it's up to you to teach her to cope with the world, how to walk on a lead etc. It'll get better if you put the time and effort in

PragmaticWench · 16/04/2021 10:40

You really need to read up about how to socialise a puppy OP or you'll create a very nervous dog. It's not too late, lots of people get a puppy and make this mistake but please look for decent socialisation advice.

APDT website is a good place to start.

If you're not careful the treats could reinforce her nervous behaviour, so it'll make you much more confident if you have proper advice about how to do this.

ivfbeenbusy · 16/04/2021 10:40

And I am feeling so overwhelmed by the task of what lies ahead socialising her.

Honestly what did you expect???????

Mamamamasaurus · 16/04/2021 10:40

Poor puppy. And I'm not even a dog person ☹️

Original poster
Notaurewhattodo · 16/04/2021 10:41

When we go out for walks she often stops and refuses to go any further as she is scared of for instance a rubbish bag at the side of the pavement. I guess she doesn’t know what it is. Is this normal?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 16/04/2021 10:41

This makes no sense op, at the very most shed have had her last vaccines in the last week and be allowed out.

So she’s a baby in a new environment with strangers, scared, and only allowed further out recently. Of course she behaves like this.

If you’re not willing or able to positively socialise her and rear her and feel it’s going to impact your prolapse then return her. And quickly. Because this is so so unfair on the dog.

ivfbeenbusy · 16/04/2021 10:41

@Notaurewhattodo

When we go out for walks she often stops and refuses to go any further as she is scared of for instance a rubbish bag at the side of the pavement. I guess she doesn’t know what it is. Is this normal?

It's your job to show her there is nothing to be Afraid of and give her confidence - much like I'm sure you did with your children????

dementedpixie · 16/04/2021 10:42

Of course she will be cautious of something she's never seen before.

Is she fully vaccinated too?

Original poster
Notaurewhattodo · 16/04/2021 10:42

I am kind to her. I am trying to strike a balance between socialising her and not overwhelming her. But not sure if I am getting it right.

OP posts:
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 16/04/2021 10:43

Why on earth did you get a puppy?
I think you should rehome her to a proper dog owner who knows what to expect from a very young pup.
I don't get kittens anymore because I can't give them the full on attention they need, I settle for older rescues because of my health and circumstances.

Original poster
Notaurewhattodo · 16/04/2021 10:43

Yes she is fully vaccinated we had the go ahead from the vets to go out and about

OP posts:
MaitlandGirl · 16/04/2021 10:43

What breed is she? I always take mine out in a ring sling for a good view of the world when they’re this little. Not sure if this would work with you and your prolapse but it shouldn’t put too much extra pressure on you as you won’t be straining.

Little and often is the way to go at this stage, lots of calm consistent exposure but in small doses.

Good luck.