I am so unhappy and not sure if I need to return puppy to breeder. Can anyone help?

[Notaurewhattodo]

We have had her two weeks. She is delightful at home. Sleeps well, eats well, toileting going well. She is very sweet and family all enjoying her company. Only the usual bites phases in the evening to deal with. She is however very shy out and about. Scared of loud noises. Scared of children. Often refuses to get out of the car if she hears loud noises and I have to lift her out against her will basically as I can’t leave her in the car and we need to go places. I do treat her to ease the process but it’s worrying me.

And I am feeling so overwhelmed by the task of what lies ahead socialising her. We have two children ourselves who she loves but she is scared of their friends. And I am worried this will be difficult for her. She tries to hide from them when they come to visit. How will I ever take her to parks and beaches where screaming kids are running around? Will it be very stressful for her. Maybe she would be better in a home with adults only.

Also I am worried about my own health. I have a mild prolapse which I feel is being impacted negatively by it all. She sometimes refuses to get into car and I have to pick her up and she wriggles around. Also she pulls on the lead at times and I am worried this will not get sorted and I will not be able to manage her and my prolapse will get worse 😕

I am so sad about it all. My children adore her and I feel it would break their hearts to return her. But I do feel maybe we aren’t the right family for her.

Can anyone help me? Please be kind. I feel I can’t discuss with anyone in real life so posting on here.

It’s very early days OP.
My DD’s rescue pup flatly refused to even step outside the front door, I ended up every day carrying her to a very quiet spot then letting her just sniff around. She was terrified of other dogs, didn’t know how to respond to anything or anyone. It took several months before she’d happily step outside with lots of treats and encouragement and by six months she was a completely different dog. She’s an absolute joy now.
Lockdown definitely didn’t help her socialisation but a couple of one to one training sessions and a consistent approach sorted that.
Give her time poor pooch.

For a first time owner a Collie is the wrong choice big time. They are noise sensitive and highly strung because they are so clever. Return her op. You don't sound the right owner for her.

My DH had a family BC, in South London. They lived in a busy road, and the dog came from a farm. She was a lovely family dog, but DH did take her to agility class and competitions which gave her an outlet, in contrast to her urban environment.
It depends on the home and the individual dog, how well it works, although it does surprise me how many young urban families get BCs or other working breeds - particularly BCs and very young children.

OP keep going. It sounds like you are committed to putting in the time with your pup. Puppy blues are very real! Lots of people wonder what they've done in those first few weeks. I have a 6 month old Springer who is / was also very timid. At one point he was scared of the dark! He's growing in confidence every day and I still say I'd much rather have a reserved pup who comes back to me when he sees a dog, rather than want to say hello to everything that moves!

In the doghouse topic there's a thread called Puppy Survival April something or other - it's a really supportive, non judgemental group and I've benefitted hugely from it. We're all going through the same things. Otherwise keep going with the Easy Peasy book, you'll do just fine.

I’m going to go against the tide and mention that nurture not always trumps nature.

Your dog may continue to be shy no matter how much and how well you try to help her but in the same way that is lovely having an extrovert dog, introvert shy dogs have some other traits that make them amazing company: they are more open to read you better. Many are trained as therapy dogs or even to tell their owners they are about to have a seizure.

I have had dogs all my life, some have been alphas some betas but the present one is and always will be a zeta... nothing that worked with my other dogs works with her but... this sensitivity of hers has made it the most special dog we have ever had and she has been an amazing support to me and my teenager in difficult times.

Yes, my dog is also very sensitive

We got her through friends (who breed dogs) who accepted a reject at 5 months. Her first owners could not handle her meekness and fearful nature.

She has been the most wonderful dog ever, very worried and shy but gradually becoming more brave and making friends in the village (human and canine). She is now a very confident dog (a few years down the line)

Her calm and quiet nature (no barking, no jumping up) have meant that she helped 3 local kids overcome their fear of dogs (just by spending time with her) , in a funny way, her nature makes kids slow down and be gentle with her. I have been asked a few times if she’s a therapy dog

OP I hope you can find the patience and time to work on this. A nervous shy dog really benefits from a calm house and a predictable routine.

@KarmaNoMore love how your dog is like this too, what breed is it? Mine is a lurcher

@ChubbyLittleManInACampervan she is a poodle mix that came to us via the RSPCA. I can assure you this dog was beloved by whoever was her owner before us, she may be afraid of cars, people walking around her and other dogs but she is so comfortable with hugs, squeezes and affection I’m sure who ever lost her treat her like a little girl... she even jumps at pedestrian crossings trying to push the button herself!