Tell me the best/worst backhanded compliments you've had...

[GappyValley]

You know, the ones where it's either such a bad insult that it becomes a compliment, or such a bad compliment that it is an insult...

Mine has to be when my bitch of a stepmother (and self-appointed amazing baker who loves to criticise everyone) told me I shouldn't feel bad for not being able to stick to my gluten-free diet, when we were eating some birthday cake I had made.
Well fuck you, SM, it was gluten free cake and you clearly didn't realise which is why you thought I was falling off the wagon...
The fact that she didn't notice was the highest honour my cooking has ever had!

DH was told it was nice of him to try to make an effort with his hair, and that wasn't so bad considering it was lockdown - he had queued up for hours on the day barbers reopened for a proper cut

"You've got a very unusual kind of beauty. Like, you're beautiful but I don't know why"
An ex bf as a teenager. Cheers mate.

Best?:
‘I don’t care what anyone else says, you look lovely in that dress’

Heard said by a comedian (can’t recall which one but made DH laugh!):

“For a fat girl you don’t smell too bad’

A colleague once told me i dress well for my weight. Told me i had a really pretty face and lovely long naturally blonde hair but if i went to the gym and toned up i would be perfect. I am now and was then a size 14 ! Colleague was male.

We'd been to a fancy dress party & decided to go & continue at a local club, so 5 of us are out all in fancy dress. A woman slightly swaying comes up to us, nice as pie at first.

Then, she turned towards me sneering & laughing as she Grecian style went out of fashion a few years ago, whilst looking me up & down. I pointed out it wasn't a fashion choice we were in fancy dress & my mates 70's costume was also slightly out of date, making a joke of it. She didn't find it funny mumbled something about her not having glasses & flounced off.

My mother once told me that she was glad I'd found someone to love me (when I met my husband). It was not said kindly.

PMSL at 'You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. . . in Bristol.'

My much younger half brother, aged about 3, looked at me admiringly when I was ready for a night out in my late teens. It was the 90s, and I was in a floaty skirt, clumpy boots, long hair kind of get up.

He said: 'You look all pretty! Like a scarecrow'

Ah romanziere that's so cute of your little brother.

You're so pretty for a fat girl

I had a friend say to me on a night out "you look amazing, not at all tarty".

@elainemariebenes
I believe it was Les Dawson, when it was suggested he should pay a compliment to a girl he met at a dance, and it was "you don't sweat much for a fat lass"

Wow you look pretty when you bother to make an effort...... 🙄

Work one by a senior to a client........ This is Scottish she looks young and like the graduate but she really knows her stuff......err cheers!

"You look like Pikachu" said by an ex.

For a dark haired girl, you don’t have much of a moustache

my dds very ex boyfriend, after nearly scrapping the pattern off the plate of a dish of Lamb Kelftiko I had made 'you should go on 'come dine with me' they are all shit cooks on that' - I took it in the spirit in which it was said and we now all say it after a good meal

From an older relative, when I was about 17 and lost a lot of weight I'd put on as a younger teenager.
"You're growing up so pretty, we were getting quite worried!"

@ElaineMarieBenes

Best?: ‘I don’t care what anyone else says, you look lovely in that dress’

Heard said by a comedian (can’t recall which one but made DH laugh!):

“For a fat girl you don’t smell too bad’

The "fat people stink" thing. This trope is exactly why I have spent 30 years obsessed with personal hygiene and perfume.

After a last minute cancellation by a musician, a friend and I played in a charity concert in our local town. Now, Lang Lang we ain’t but I thought we turned out a decent enough effort of one of Moskowski’s Spanish Dance duets and two four handed arrangements of Scott Joplin’s ragtime dances.
After the concert a woman I recognised as a parent from my dd’s school came up to us and said patronisingly “well done for having a go!”.

I still haven’t thought of a suitable ripost to that.

My aunt and I had babies close together. When her son wouldn't take his antibiotics, she used to call me round to give them to him. Her parting comment was "I wish I could be a hard mum like you."

“You don’t seem gay, I’d never have guessed” yeah, that’s not the compliment you think it is.

“You’re quite tall for one of your type” by your type he meant Asian.

“oooo look Daddy its you” Jafar, the cartoon version.

Then-boyfriend explaining why he was breaking up with me: 'You look like a supermodel but you don't have the personality to match.' Git. He was punching well above his weight.

'I always think you look nice in that.'

I arrive dressed up for a party.

Friend, ' wow you look beautiful. I didn't recognise you'

This next one is just a plain insult.
Guy talking about cheesy chat up lines he has used.
Me ' No-one's ever used a chat up line on me, I don't think.'
Other bloke ' I'm not surprised.'
Me: astonished gasp
Other bloke 'No, no, what I meant was that you are giggly, girly and what you say is insincere.'
Me: walks off.

( I don't think I am either giggly or girly. And I don't see how he would think I am being as that was the first time I had ever, briefly, met him).

My husband once told me that he fancied me because he has always been attracted to women that aren't conventionally good looking
He still maintains that was a compliment

Having spoken to one of the dads at an end of term function he announced ‘Wow, I’d always thought you were just a trophy wife.’😲