Tell me the best/worst backhanded compliments you've had...

[GappyValley]

You know, the ones where it's either such a bad insult that it becomes a compliment, or such a bad compliment that it is an insult...

Mine has to be when my bitch of a stepmother (and self-appointed amazing baker who loves to criticise everyone) told me I shouldn't feel bad for not being able to stick to my gluten-free diet, when we were eating some birthday cake I had made.
Well fuck you, SM, it was gluten free cake and you clearly didn't realise which is why you thought I was falling off the wagon...
The fact that she didn't notice was the highest honour my cooking has ever had!

DH was told it was nice of him to try to make an effort with his hair, and that wasn't so bad considering it was lockdown - he had queued up for hours on the day barbers reopened for a proper cut

You look like a poor man’s Brooke Shields

"You're not the best looking woman in the world but you're not the worst either". Said by DH, who thought it was a massive compliment. In his defence he is from a cultural background where honesty is a great virtue. He couldn't believe that I was a bit offended!

In a science museum on a Sunday school trip I was explaining to a group of children about viscosity of liquids. Another leader must have heard because really loudly she approached me, beaming from ear to ear stating that I was clever for a SAHM and she now had a new level of respect for me. Perhaps I should wear my postgrad scientific qualifications around my neck, God forbid I might be mistaken for an illiterate woman in future.

My male colleague "people like us neenah, We'll always do well with the opposite sex because of our personality. Like, you're a 5 on the surface, but get to know you and you're a solid 7"

Your boobs aren't that saggy for a 30 year old...

At Christmas DS1(26) leaned in for a hug and said “you smell like a granny, not a granny who smells of wee a granny who smells fresh and clean!”

‘You’re pretty but if you had brown eyes you’d be gorgeous’
Er, thanks...

Goodness, if we all had brown hair, brown eyes, size 8 at 5ft 3" with toned tummies, a lack of education and didn't smell like grannies ... we would all be winning at life!

@ElizabethofpeanutYorkies

Goodness, if we all had brown hair, brown eyes, size 8 at 5ft 3" with toned tummies, a lack of education and didn't smell like grannies ... we would all be winning at life!

😂😂😂

'You'd be really nice looking if you made a bit more of an effort'

I have a friend who we still make a joke of when a boyfriend said to her, genuinely stuck by how beautiful she looked, 'Wow. You look so beautiful in the dark.'

Oh wow, what a shame! Said by superior woman in office after seeing photos of me before hypothyroidism and subsequent weight gain, the old cow was a foot shorter than me and at least the same size as me at 5’6”, her being very short by at least 8”.

It worked out ok, I got a better job for more pay within a month and left with no notice given, stating she had the IQ and sex appeal of a glass of water, and off i sashayed, onto pastures new! Silly bitch! (should mention this was my first job overseas at 21)

A ONS with a FoF
“Wow, you look much better naked than I was expecting”

I meant genuinely struck but stuck works too

Said by a female work colleague many many years ago.

"I don't know why but everyone seems to like you".

Gee, thanks ...

"@Sparechange A ONS with a FoF"

What is FOF? I am very old ( 50).

In bed with a bloke.
“You’ve a really pretty face. Shame about the body though.”

There wasn’t a repeat performance.

@ElizabethofpeanutYorkies

A friend of a friend
So someone I knew socially and had seen me clothed several times..!
He clearly had low expectations for what he was going to see underneath

18 years old, in patient on a psychiatric ward. Psychiatrist (older female, very glam) 'you know you'd be quite pretty if you sorted out your hair." I'm fairly sure we weren't talking about my appearance at that point.

@TheLittleRedToothbrush

If you grow your hair you'd get a man ...

If you lost weight you'd get a man ... ( I was a size 10)

If you wore dresses more you'd get a man ...

All from my DM

Reminds me of my friends mum I forgot she told me that I was pretty but I would never get a husband if I didn't put more effort in and at least wear makeup! I was 19!

Been married 5years still not wearing makeup so I think I won that one! 😂

Talking with my Ex MIL about SIL trying to find a nursery for DN.

'You wouldn't know how hard it is, you are not career minded. You seem so happy in your little job.

Years ago at a make up party - was told I had a face that suited make up!
A very back handed compliment?

Years ago when I had short hair, a 'gentleman' around the 60's mark told me I'd be 'bonny' if I had long hair. 18 year old me was too stunned to reply... 41 year old me would point out improvements he could make to himself, without mincing my words!

@Sparechange oh i see. Thank you, i didn't know that.

Well in my long dating experience, he is an arse and you sound like a throughly lovely young woman.

When I was training in my vocation and nailing it incidentally my mentor said

' if it doesn't work out in this progression, you should try being a comedian'

Got told I look quite pretty when I look down