Tell me the best/worst backhanded compliments you've had...

[GappyValley]

You know, the ones where it's either such a bad insult that it becomes a compliment, or such a bad compliment that it is an insult...

Mine has to be when my bitch of a stepmother (and self-appointed amazing baker who loves to criticise everyone) told me I shouldn't feel bad for not being able to stick to my gluten-free diet, when we were eating some birthday cake I had made.
Well fuck you, SM, it was gluten free cake and you clearly didn't realise which is why you thought I was falling off the wagon...
The fact that she didn't notice was the highest honour my cooking has ever had!

DH was told it was nice of him to try to make an effort with his hair, and that wasn't so bad considering it was lockdown - he had queued up for hours on the day barbers reopened for a proper cut

My grandmother when I was 16: "Oh! You've had a nose job!". No. I'd simply grown into my (rather bulbous) nose...

My great-aunt, whom I'd only met once before this: "Well, then; you look happier since I last saw you!" In other words, I'd recovered from the break up with my cheating ex that had seen me lose a horrible amount of weight... and put some back on again. I can only surmise that it's the family way of saying" Oh, you're plump again!"

When I was very young, though, I apparently told my paternal grandmother that I preferred hugging her, to my maternal grandmother "because [she was] more cuddly". My paternal grandmother was, at her largest, a size 14 (but 4'10), whilst my maternal grandmother was all bones (and didn't like being cuddled, so awkward about it, too).

I love your batwings/You have lovely forehead wrinkles. Thanks ds. He's 14

"your hair is lovely, like a spaniel's ears"

Husband said he asked me out initially because he thought I was 'attainably attractive' .
Still maintains it was a compliment!

When I told a friend I dont wear foundation, I was told I should because I have a pretty face.... well I have good clear skin, barely ever spots so it does nothing for me but thanks I suppose!

Your teeth look alot worse to yourself than others...

“You’re fat, but you’re fat-fit”. Said to me by a bloke who I beat to the top up Blencathra.

My Irish grandmother inspected me closely, and then, in front of everyone, announced: "She really is quite pretty for an English girl!"

Friend of a friend at her bday party in the pub....

You’re gorgeous for an Indian bird. Then looked at his friend and asked him, ‘Would you risk it for a chocolate biscuit’.

He honestly thought he was complimenting me.

Oh @Triple what a horrible bastard

@SweatyBetty20

Oh god you’ve just reminded me I had to have a quiet word with a friend after she told another friend that she was ‘skinny fat’ and she needed to keep exercising because her shouldn’t assume that her being thin automatically meant she was healthy

Blunt friend honestly couldn’t see what was wrong with her saying that

You sound like you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder @Zakana

@NotAllMeBeer wow you look beautiful. I didn't recognise you

Said to me too, by a then-colleague when she saw my wedding pictures. Twat. She was a proper minger anyway so I blamed that 🤣

An ex boyfriend said to me early in the relationship "you're not beautiful but I think you're kind of pretty"

My mum on a beach walking together on a beautiful sunny spring day looked at me with a loving smile and said "I love the way your moustache sparkles in the sun." She even protested so much that it was a compliment that she had other family members joining in, with yes it does sparkle nicely (I am female and don't want to be known for my fabulous facial hair thanks)

Spent a year abroad in Italy during uni. Ate all the pasta and gorgeous Italian food (obvs) and had a great year. On leaving, my colleague asked if I was looking forward to seeing my parents “they’ll be so happy to see you looking so...(long pause)... well fed” 🤔

I’ve said this on here before, but it really is my favourite one I’ve had. I went to a really exclusive hairdresser for a restyle and after the guy said ‘you look fabulous, it really breaks up the monotony of your face’. 😂 I still laugh almost 20 years later. It’s the gift that keeps giving.

"I'm so glad you've put the weight back on, your tits were shit when you were skinny"

Umm... thanks?

At a party, a rather drunk friend of a friend introduced me as follows
"This is Breakfast - a lot of people think she's rather cold and stuck up, but she's actually quite nice!"

Uh thanks?

Been chatted up by a very drunk, very earnest rugby player. “You’d make a great prop forward”

On a date, met for the first time, in a bar ( Pre Covid, of course)
Oh you are not white? You are not as dark as other Asians Ive met. How come your skin is lighter? I thought you were Spanish
Grr!!!

Wow, you drive like a man! Said by a very chauvinistic male friend. He honestly thought that it was a compliment.

You'd be pretty if you lost 10lb. From mother in law.

“You’ve got such a good body you could be a porn star”.
He couldn’t understand why I didn’t swoon.

Plus, he told me it didn’t matter he had a girlfriend as ‘she’d never know’.

Said to me by a man in a bar, while I was with my - admittedly stunning - friend - “ I saw your friend and I thought she was pretty, then I saw you and thought you looked fun”.

I let him buy me a few drinks, then we left!

“You’d look prettier without the glasses.”

“You look well, much better with a bit of weight on you”

And, years ago, my friend’s boyfriend said to her “gosh, a little bit of make up makes and awful lot of difference!”