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Original poster

Tell me the best/worst backhanded compliments you've had...

211 replies

GappyValley · 11/02/2021 14:32

You know, the ones where it's either such a bad insult that it becomes a compliment, or such a bad compliment that it is an insult...

Mine has to be when my bitch of a stepmother (and self-appointed amazing baker who loves to criticise everyone) told me I shouldn't feel bad for not being able to stick to my gluten-free diet, when we were eating some birthday cake I had made.
Well fuck you, SM, it was gluten free cake and you clearly didn't realise which is why you thought I was falling off the wagon...
The fact that she didn't notice was the highest honour my cooking has ever had!

DH was told it was nice of him to try to make an effort with his hair, and that wasn't so bad considering it was lockdown - he had queued up for hours on the day barbers reopened for a proper cut

OP posts:
MarisPiper92 · 17/02/2021 09:01

A woman at a party: "What have you come as?"

I had not come as anything.

Mercedes519 · 17/02/2021 09:12

I get a lot of “oh you’re very...brave” when I explain that my silver hair is natural. Not sure what difference it makes as this normally follows a compliment on the colour.

But unlike most on here this comes from other women. Agree with a PP in terms of the entitlement of men telling women how they can be more attractive!!

Oh and a work one...”you’re like a terrier, a nice one though” about my ability to get stuff done.

Justcashnosweets · 17/02/2021 09:22

You have a very young FACE.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General food
blobbyface · 17/02/2021 09:46

My dh's friend's wife told me that with some make up on I would look stunning - gee thanks!
This was 20 years ago and I've still not worn make up.

StrawberryFizz26 · 23/02/2021 21:42

Nyctophyllia

That is hilarious!

Cherrysoup · 23/02/2021 23:15

My bil after I’d lost 8 stone ‘Wow, you are too good for my brother, you brush up well’. Gee, thanks.

Thecomfortador · 24/02/2021 01:35

A former boyfriend - you're no supermodel, but you're nicer than most girls in Preston.

Also had comments about how secure I must be in myself to not worry about having a facial grooming routine.

PurpleRainDancer · 24/02/2021 01:42

The worst chat up line ever:

‘You look really intelligent with those glasses on’

Smoothsoul · 24/02/2021 01:44

Me ec referring to the woman he was having an EA with:

“She’s skinner than you but you’ve got bigger tits”

Smoothsoul · 24/02/2021 01:44

⬆️EX I meant.

RAOK · 24/02/2021 04:04

Oh you look nice said in the most surprised tone imaginable. Your hair looks nice TODAY type comments.

longwayoff · 24/02/2021 08:47

Not a compliment but so unexpected it made me laugh. Aunt, who hadn't seen me since I was 5 years old. I was about 16. "Oh. You're longwayoff? You're not a bit like your mum are you, she was an absolute beauty when she was your age". Known in family as Aunt Foot, as in foot in mouth.Smile

MmeD · 24/02/2021 09:40

Me ec referring to the woman he was having an EA with:

“She’s skinner than you but you’ve got bigger tits”

@Smoothsoul - A friend’s husband said exactly the same thing to her in the same situation. She’s still with him.

Mine? Said by an ex: “God you’re gorgeous. You’ve got a body like a boy’s.” Shock

HenrysPool · 24/02/2021 10:10

I had a number of people express surprise when I got together with my now DH. The surprise being that he was very attractive and I wasn’t Hmm

The worst being my friend’s mum who said ‘you are pretty but find yourself a less attractive boyfriend, then you’ll really shine’

Cheers for that.

Changeychange1 · 24/02/2021 10:15

My horrible step-mother said, whilst putting lipstick on her very thin lips ‘big lips are ugly on women. Yours are quite big aren’t they but they aren’t too big so it’s ok’ - I was about 11 and didn’t realise for a long time that she was being unkind Sad

This one is funnier, one of the 14 year olds I was responsible for said ‘I bet you were really pretty when you were younger’ - I was about 25 at the time Grin

Heaviestdirtyestsoul · 24/02/2021 10:23

Just yesterday! My dad told me that I'm very very clever- but we havnt found what I'm clever at yet. Umm.. thanks pops!

RainbowRaine · 26/02/2021 09:02

Unfortunately I gave someone one of these comments. I told her, "her hair looked nice" then followed it up with "have you washed it"

🤦🏻‍♀️

Labobo · 26/02/2021 09:16

A member of the PTA once rushed up to me at the school gates and gushed 'OMG I had no idea you were so old! You look great for your age. I hope I look that great when I am that old.' She'd seen my DOB on some form I'd had to fill in.

Thoughtcontagion · 26/02/2021 09:21

Phoned my office once asking for my boss and my colleague didn’t know it was me came back and said I’m sorry so and is not available can I take a message which made me think he has no clue it’s me why is he being so polite, I said it’s thoughtcontagion, he says blood hell you sound like a right dirty bitch on the phone I’d love to take you out but I’d be disappointed if you turned up. Cheeky bastard.

Borntohula · 26/02/2021 10:36

In the week or so after giving birth, "back in size 12s already!" Fuck off, I've clearly gained a ton of weight during pregnancy.

And, "doesn't she look well for 30!?" I let that one go only because it was said by a 20yo. 😂

HandyBendySandy · 26/02/2021 16:10

I worked with a guy who was incredibly good looking - as in, women would stare at him as he walked along the street. Proper film star looks.

One day he was howling with laughter at one of my (numerous) witticisms, me being hilarious and everything, and as he wiped away tears of mirth, he said,

"Sandy, you've got the most amazing personality." Then he looked serious and added, "It's a shame you're fat, otherwise I'd shag you."

That wasn't even the only time - I swept past him once and he exclaimed, "Wow, you smell nice."

Followed by, "Not nice enough to make me want to shag you."

The thing is, I wasn't even offended. He was just a dickhead who treated women badly, his nonsense made no difference to me.

MuddyWalks · 26/02/2021 16:15

You look great...for your age.

mumwon · 26/02/2021 16:49

one of the unintentionally funniest
being told by female who didn't like me "Oh you look older than X"
I was actually 7 years older than X & female had commented before that she thought X looked much younger than her age Grin that was an insult fail
Great back handed compliment I didn't tell her how old I actually was
(nb I have never prided myself in being more than looking presentable at best so it didn't worry me)

Cakeonthefloor · 26/02/2021 17:08

You were really pretty when you were younger. Said by dh.

CharityDingle · 26/02/2021 17:28

@chillybeans

‘I love how you don’t care about your appearance or what you look like, it’s really wholesome that you just get up and go without feeling like you have to make an effort!’ said to me by a friend who spends lots of time and money on her appearance (and always looks great for it). To be clear, I do bloody care about my appearance - always have nicely kept hair, clothes, skin, nails etc. I just don’t wear makeup!
That sounds downright bitchy to me, tbh. I'd think she wasn't much of a friend, making a remark like that.