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Original poster

Does your partner call you during his work day?

190 replies

3inthefuckingmorning · 03/12/2020 18:54

I am a SAHM, with a baby and a 4 year old. Been on lots of walks lately with friends who are also mums at home with babies or kids at school. Nearly all of them get a phone call from there partners while they are at work, just to say hello and see how things are going. My partner doesn't do this and when I told him all my friends get calls he said it is weird.

Does your partner/ DH/DW call you?

OP posts:
Whenwillow · 03/12/2020 20:38

The odd text during the day.

TillyTopper · 03/12/2020 20:39

No, not unless there is something specific then we use whatsapp. When DP was a SAHD I didn't call him either.

ghostmous3 · 03/12/2020 20:41

Why is it needy?

In my case it's a way for us to chat without little ears listening and we both like it.

Sometimes we dont..if I'm working over or hes doing.something at lunch time with work or if I'm doing something.

Neither of us lose sleep if we dont speak to each other during the day..its just nice when we do most of the time

vanillandhoney · 03/12/2020 20:43

Nope.

We both work manual/practical jobs, so neither of us can really talk on the phone anyway, but we live together and see each other everyday, so I don't really see the point of talking at work as well Confused

Ffsnosexallowed · 03/12/2020 20:44

No. We're both working from home mostly these days and I don't hear from him!

lynsey91 · 03/12/2020 20:45

It depends. He doesn't ring every day but most days he does. If he is very busy he probably won't although he may phone to tell me he is on his way home.

I don't phone him unless it is important as he can't stop to answer his phone if he is in the middle of a job (plumber and heating engineer).

If he driving a long distance for work he will always phone when he gets there to let me know he is there. He sometimes works away and always phones, usually 2 or 3 times a day. I would think it odd if he didn't.

When I worked he would phone me to see I had arrived safely. He used to be a paramedic and so knows, sadly, that not everyone does arrive safely

skankingpiglet · 03/12/2020 20:46

When the DCs were very small and I was home alone with them we would have a brief chat of 5-10mins at lunchtime each day. He wanted to know how we were/what we were doing (in a nice interested way, not a controlling way!) and I needed some adult contact.
Now we are both working we will text or call to sort out various logistics when needed, which is most days. Sometimes we will have a chat whilst on the phone if we know the other is having a particularly tough day - maybe once a week.

LolaSmiles · 03/12/2020 20:49

Only if he needs something or he needs to get a message to me. He might forward something funny to me that he's read on his break.

I'd find it quite odd and suffocating if I had a partner who expected me to call them throughout the day for no reason. It seems quite needy to me.

redeyetonowheregood · 03/12/2020 20:51

No. Maybe back in the mists if time I think he might have done...pre children. But now...no,we are both very very busy with work, have been together almost 20 years...I sometimes call him from work but he never calls me. He sends texts occasionally which I like.

Sewrainbow · 03/12/2020 20:53

God no! Texts if necessary but no time to chat. When I used to meet a friend for lunch or coffee though without fail her dh rang at some point during the day no matter what! I thought it smacked of checking up on her, (he always asked who was there) she said he gets bored and lonely...

My dh hates talking on the phone and I hate talking to him on it, he is so deaf we just end up talking over each other or there being too long a pause!

amgine · 03/12/2020 20:55

Only when he needs to ask me what’s on the family calendar. Which is on the wall, in our house, where he is.

rwalker · 03/12/2020 20:57

Works for some people but we don't call each other or message unless it's something that can't wait.
Whilst some people like it I would find it needy. 1 guy at work stars at 8 wife doesn't work is on the phone her a 8.20 most days chatting general shit like what she is having for her breakfast and where he's going that day with work. He literally left the house 30 minutes before.

LeroyJenkinssss · 03/12/2020 20:57

DH (SAHD) will WhatsApp me during the day generally but he knows my schedule and doesn’t expect immediate reply. It’s all stuff that makes me laugh etc. He’d never call unless in an absolute emergency certainly not for a chat!

RoseCider · 03/12/2020 20:58

We speak 4-5 times a day and we have no small children. This is Mumsnet though and people live in a different universe to me a lot of the time! If your DH calls during the day you’re needy, if he doesn’t he’s an uncaring bastard or having an affair. Do what’s right for you!

lotusbell · 03/12/2020 20:59

No, not usually a call but we will send a quick Whatsapp a few times. He's a driver so it's just usually between trips. I work with a guy who speaks to his wife every dinner time and sometimes inbetween. She works for the same company but is wfh at the moment so it's not like they don't speak to each other about work. She often rings him about random things and he moans but then he'll do the same. I find it odd but each to their own.

LadyofMisrule · 03/12/2020 21:00

No, that would be weird for us. We may have sent texts to confirm details like school collection, or picking up milk from the shop on the way home, but I'd never have expected a call.

We've both been working in the same house since March, and we don't chat during the day here either.

ZolaGrey · 03/12/2020 21:01

I used to, but now he's changed jobs (to FE teaching) and it's not really viable. I get the odd message throughout the day though and one when he's coming home.

If I needed to get hold of him then I could ring and he'd find a space to answer but it would have to be for something important.

user1592512579 · 03/12/2020 21:02

No, neither of us would ever call unless we needed something.

When our first child was born he called/ text to check we were okay on breaks.

Now we only communicate about practical stuff during the day.

MiddleClassMother · 03/12/2020 21:04

I doubt my DH would have time in his working day to phone me for a chat. He will occasionally call if he needs something (normally something he has forgottenHmm) on his lunch break, if mine is a similar time. Even if I was a SAHM I wouldn't expect to be phoned throughout the day.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/12/2020 21:05

No but thats because both our exes used to do this and it drove us both mad. In both cases it was a control thing, making sure we were where we said we were..... Hmm

That said, we message during the day and it wouldnt be a problem if I called him or him me and we have when there has been a genuine problem, its just that we dont feel the need the rest of the time. Also his job isnt the type where he has time to take a few minutes for a chat.

Some people just like to chat during the day and I would say that its a nice thing if its out of genuine affection and a desire to connect with someone. But equally, its not a horrible thing if you dont! Each to their own.

MrsRogerLima · 03/12/2020 21:05

Urgh no, I used to work with a woman who spoke to her husband every lunchtime without fail.

What on earth they had to say to each other every day I don't know. They lived in each other pockets

Bibidy · 03/12/2020 21:06

He sometimes does but I hate it.

Unless he actually has something to ask or tell me, I'm more than happy with texts. I see him every day before and after work, I don't need him ringing me in between.

Bibidy · 03/12/2020 21:08

@MrsRogerLima

Urgh no, I used to work with a woman who spoke to her husband every lunchtime without fail.

What on earth they had to say to each other every day I don't know. They lived in each other pockets

Same, I also had a similar colleague.

I think it's a bit sad to be honest, when you could be walking out for lunch with work mates instead. This woman always complained she wasn't included in nights out or planned lunches but the reality was she was constantly on the phone to her boyfriend so barely even spoke to us.

snowone · 03/12/2020 21:10

Nope! A text couple of texts may be exchanged in a day but we are both busy so...🤷🏼‍♀️

NotDesmondsBoat · 03/12/2020 21:12

We speak after lunch when I have finished work.
If it's my day off we'll chat too.
Just catching up really. We don't get much time in the evenings when we're working

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