I just don't understaaaaaaaand...

[OneMoreForExtra]

... why i don't lose weight. I never eat breakfast and I hardly eat anything else apart from coffee with cream, loads of cheese and no carbs apart from chocolate and wine but that's stress management right?

Aaaaand I always look a scruff but it can't be because I can't be arsed to work out how to style it...

Anyone else similarly baffled about why life isn't going their way?

You aren't losing weight because your diet is shit. "No carbs" her eating chocolate and drinking wine is completely pointless. As far as losing weight goes, you're your own worst enemy.

It's in the first sentence...you never eat breakfast....

You MUST eat breakfast it is important to get your metabolism moving. It will be sluggish otherwise!!

Do you exercise?

*yet eating

@OneMoreForExtra I have a similar problem - cheese and chocolate are cornerstones of a balanced diet, right?

Is this a spoof? I can’t quite figure it out.

Same

Hehehe me too OP.

@PurpleDaisies

Is this a spoof? I can’t quite figure it out.

My thoughts too!

No breakfast but plenty of cheese!

OP I get you. I eat my vegetables (roast sweet potatoes and carrots in beef casserole) yet the weight won’t shift. What’s going on?

I also don’t have time for myself despite working at 7pm on a Sunday night 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I know exactly what you mean. I diet at least one morning a week and yet still don’t seem to be losing any weight.

I'm on the same diet op I just don't understand where I am going wrong.

Side note - slightly worried people don't get it's a joke

🤣🤣

I dieted one day in 1985 and it didn't work, so I just gave up. You should do the same.

Aaaaand I always look a scruff but it can't be because I can't be arsed to work out how to style it...

I'm sure my haircut was meant to just fall into place.
Ok, so it was done in February and I've been out walking in a howling Gale but even so, do you think I should complain?

I lost weight when I stopped eating fruit... it got rid of hunger pangs.

Love that half the posters are calling the op out on her "diet" and the other half are playing along. It's tongue in cheek! Love it op ;) just off to the fridge to get some more cheese!

Haha this is me :)

You need to balance the cheese with a couple of family sized bags of crisps, I think I read somewhere that they cancel each other out.

Similarly with coffee and cream - one stimulates the metabolism whilst the other slows it down - QED zero effect.

It is a well publicised, scientific fact that both chocolate and red wine are good for one's health.

Dress sense - I think you've hit the nail on the head here - it's your outfits, so..

1. If you can, obtain one of those 'slimming' mirrors they have in clothes shops.
2. Wear wafty, flowing dresses and flowers in your hair.
3. Buy old copies of Woman's Realm on Ebay and dress based on their suggestions.
4. Embrace the way you are.

@hoitytoit

It's in the first sentence...you never eat breakfast....

You MUST eat breakfast it is important to get your metabolism moving. It will be sluggish otherwise!!

Do you exercise?

Rubbish.

If you're not hungry you shouldn't eat until you are.

I'm 51, haven't eaten breakfast since Junior school and no it doesn't make me sluggish.

5 portions of fruit & veg = 5 glasses of fermented grape juice, right?

And tomato ketchup on chips is another 2 portions

Glad I'm not the only one... also very miffed about why I'm always swamped - its not like I don't put off all the shit jobs till I feel like doing them so I'm at my best when I do do them...

You need to eat stuff that belongs to other people
Other people food won’t count 😂😂

I assumed this was required